Transformers: Rising Storm (Dark of the Moon prequel)

[Professor Smooth]

This was the worst Transformers comic I have ever been exposed to. Worse than anything from Marvel. Worse than the Ladybird books. Worse than anything from Dreamwave. Worse than anything from Shane McCarthy. Worse than those little pack-in comics that came with Armada and Energon figures. Worse than those KissPlayers comics from Japan. Worse than fan-produced Transformers hentai dojin. Worse than what Mike Costa leaves out of his stories.

Absolutely everything about this four issue series is completely terrible. Utterly without redemption. There is not even a single solitary panel that is anything other than unadulterated crap.

The story, what little there is of it, is stretched across four issues. It is basically Starscream trying to collect an AWOL Wheelie-ish robot while Shockwave all-but annihilates NEST. We're also introduced to Carly, who'll be "Michael Bay is like Hitler," theorist, Megan Fox's replacement in the upcoming movie. That's pretty much it. For FOUR issues.

The art. Oh. My. God. The art. This wasn't "Don's trying a new style," type art. This looked like somebody sketched some robots then just filled in all the open space with little squiggly shapes. You know how a lot of people complain that the movie bots look like somebody just slapped some car parts on a pile of metal shavings? These robots look like somebody glued car parts onto writhing miles of worms. Except, inexplicably for Shockwave, who pretty much just looks like G1 Shockwave's head with a more generic robot body. Oh, and Wheelie. His face looks like it's fashioned from several pulsating dicks. It's disgusting to look at. I'm worried this comic might be in violation of Japanese censorship laws.

Oh, and speaking of Japanese censorship laws, there's a huge tentacle monster. It's that thing we saw in the new trailer. It's there. People see it. But it's only mentioned in throw away lines. "Boy, I hope this cage holds..." Except it's not really in a cage. You know, because there are massive ****ing tentacles everywhere!

This book so completely free of anything resembling quality, that it exists as some kind of statistical abnormality. It'd be like flipping a coin one hundred times and each time it lands on "tails." And in a steaming pile of dog ****. And you had to pay four dollars for each flip of the coin.

If I had to do it all over again, instead of buying this series, I'd have just sent my sixteen dollars to Pat Lee and told him to do whatever he wanted with the money.

[spiderfrommars]

The art. Oh. My. God. The art. This wasn't "Don's trying a new style," type art. This looked like somebody sketched some robots then just filled in all the open space with little squiggly shapes. You know how a lot of people complain that the movie bots look like somebody just slapped some car parts on a pile of metal shavings? These robots look like somebody glued car parts onto writhing miles of worms. Except, inexplicably for Shockwave, who pretty much just looks like G1 Shockwave's head with a more generic robot body. Oh, and Wheelie. His face looks like it's fashioned from several pulsating dicks. It's disgusting to look at. I'm worried this comic might be in violation of Japanese censorship laws.

[bumblemusprime]

If I had to do it all over again, instead of buying this series, I'd have just sent my sixteen dollars to Pat Lee and told him to do whatever he wanted with the money.

[DJ_Convoy]

Jesus god!