Sister in law

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:04 pm

I know this is personal, so feel free to NOT read if you dont want to. But those that do, I need to know if this letter is over the top:

Jackie,
"can you watch JT for 2 or 3 hours" has now turned into almost 6 months. You have had plenty of time to get a job and get your life back on track. Instead of doing that, you have resorted to credit card fraud, freeloading off of people, and taking advantage of everyone. It stops now. I had a job lined up for you and offered you a place to live so long as you helped with bills here when you were here last. You turned it down because it wasn't good enough for you.
You were here for a week and spent more time sleeping than you did with your son who misses you terribly. All you did with him was undo the work Jessy had done to get him to behave.
My patience with you has ended. You are not welcome in our home until you get your life together. I will not turn your son away because he is the one most affected by your refusal to do anything with your life. Your behavior has affected my family and caused a giant rift between my wife and I.
I dont hate you, I am not out to hurt you. I am saying this because we love you. Your son needs you to get off your ass and stop making excuses. You are not as sick as you pretend to be. You are not helpless. You are lazy. Work is hard. Kids are hard. Life is hard. We agreed to help you because we believed you were helping yourself. Picking through trash and stealing stuff to pawn is not the way to do it.
You didnt bother to call your son for months Jackie. I missed taking my daughter to her first Halloween because you wouldn't listen and leave Shreveport when we told you to because everything has to be "your way." I did not get to go back to Shreveport to see Maggie on her birthday because someone ate all the food we had so I had to replace it . I DO NOT HAVE "EXTRA MONEY" Jackie. Telling Jessy "Joey can buy more" is a good way to get me to lose my temper.

Asking Jessy to give you my bank card information almost got you arrested, plain and simple. I am not going to pay your bills. I would be much more inclined to help you if you were working and taking care of your son.
It is the holiday season. Everywhere is hiring. You have 2 weeks to find a job and 1 month after that to get a place to live. That means by January 1st you need to have a job and your own place suitable for your son (not crashing on some guys couch) or I will be filing for state assistance. I can not and will not tolerate this anymore from you. If I file for state assistance, there will be no "free money" coming to you from the government.
I do not mean to be a total asshole, and in fact I dont think I am being one. I am a concerned brother in law and uncle who sees a woman with a world of opportunity in front of her squandering it because she wants the easy way out.
Make an effort. Show me some progress. I will walk through hell with you as long as I see you are trying.

I know it doesnt seem like it, but we love you very much,
Joey

Post by **Best First** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:10 pm

obvious question on reading is; does your wife know about this.

i guess the other is is this best as a letter (not saying it isn't, just asking)- is it possible to spell this out in a civilised convo instead? Like i say just asking.

Sounds sh*t mate - sorry.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:22 pm

Jessy has told her how she feels on the topic. I left it to her to fix as it is her sister. Jackie refuses to listen and would not leave last time she was here, just kept bringing junk into our house to clean and try to pawn.

Her phone "doesnt work" yet she is always on facebook posting from her phone so one on one conversation is not going to work. Plus I want to have a paper trail because she is infamous for badmouthing those who dont give her what she wants to others so they feel bad for her and give her more free ****.

I had a job lined up for her with me and she told me it wasnt good enough for her.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:40 pm

yeah - i guess what i mean is i can imagine if i sent such a letter to my missues sister - even if it was entirely justified - and she was not aware of it in advance, i might end up solving more problems than i fix.

Make sense?

I guess what i am saying is we probably aren't the only ones you should be asking about the letter.

I fully agree though that turning down work is a good reason to lay down the law.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:46 pm

Oh no, Jessy is fully aware of the letter lol.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:54 pm

cool then.

in that case it sounds like she needs a wake up so i don't really think you should tone it down any more.

i like the walking through Hell bit.

Good luck man - sounds like an up hill battle.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:03 am

Way to dole out the much-needed (from the sounds of it) harshness/truth.

Hope she takes heed.