Boring needy gay ****

[Hound]

Nearly 2 years ago I came out of a long term relationship, after 7 years toegther. The last couple of those 7 years were pretty miserable as things started to fall apart. Since then I have felt pretty much dead inside and worried that I would never fall in love again.

Now I've met someone, someone who has absolutely blown me away. Someone, who, for the first time in as long as I can remember gives me the feeling of butterflies in my tummy, someone who I literally watched for hours whilst he slept. I feel like I am drowning in his blue eyes whenever I look into them. When we sleep together, we literally sleep together, tangled up and not letting go until the morning. We have such a good time together and seem to have similar tastes in everything. He just 'gets' me and that is so so rare...

All sounds good right? Wrong. Obviously this is where my massive insecurities kick in. I'm pretty much convinced that although he likes me, he doesn't feel the same way. Deep down I'm convinced that I deserve nothing but **** and I am not good enough for him.

He also lives in London, which although isn't miles away, is far enough to be a pain. I have my heart set on a move to London anyway, but he talks of being 'done with London', and moving elsewhere. I want to tell him how I feel, but the truth is we have only been on a few dates and it seems far to soon to lay that kind of thing down.

God damn I hate all this needy crap! I feel like a bastard emo teenager or something. I think about him everyday and it's driving me up the wall. Yet, for all the anguish it causes, it still seems so worth while...and reassuring to know that I am capable of loving again, as dramatic as that sounds.

Sorry for ranting, I just needed to get that off my chest because I really don't know what I should do...

[Predabot]

Hmm...

Well, I've got nothin'.

I'll give you some... less than useful personal opinions tho.

Maybe you're making things more complicated than they need to be? Why not just have some fun while it lasts, and lets things happen organically?


Disclaimer:
"Predabot has never had a long-term relationship and therefore has no idea how these things really work."

[Hound]

Hmm...

Well, I've got nothin'.

I'll give you some... less than useful personal opinions tho.

Maybe you're making things more complicated than they need to be? Why not just have some fun while it lasts, and lets things happen organically?


Disclaimer:
"Predabot has never had a long-term relationship and therefore has no idea how these things really work."

Oddly, that's pretty sound advice, and is pretty much the conclusion I have come to. It's just a difficult balance to strike when you are slightly obsessing over someone!

[snarl]

Someone has hijacked Pred's account...

I find it always helps to have stuff to do, stuff you genuinely like so you never get too caught up in / dependant on one person giving you validation.

At the end of the day Benjamin, he likes you enough to get all tangled up with you, so don't do yourself a disservice.

I was watching the snooker tpday, and this little upstart knocked rocket Ronnie out...

I can't remember exactly what he said, but he'd een taling himself up and said he genuinely felt he could win... that if he didn't, what is the point even trying to compete - i.e. if you don't expect to win, you go into it expecting to lose and then you subconsciously take those choices that bring about the result you think is going to happen...

So maybe just think along that litle snooker man's lines, e.g. something like "I'm fucin neat, he likes me for reasons a) b) & c) and then, as preds says, just enjoy yourself and try not to get too caught up in it all.

Cause the moment you start thinking you'er beneath this bloke and start trying to impress / convince him to stay with you... well I think then you're going to start acting a whole lot differently to how you have been acting up till now (and to be fair you must be doing something that is working). And that may well make things weird.

Obviously this is all more easily said then done, but as long as you're trying to act along these lines it'll come...

Now for that advice, I'd like you to glass Howard Webb.

[Brendocon]

Deep down I'm convinced that I deserve nothing but **** and I am not good enough for him.

[composite word including 'f*ck'] that **** dawg. You're a spectacular person and anybody claiming different is a liar and/or an idiot.

Yet, for all the anguish it causes, it still seems so worth while...and reassuring to know that I am capable of loving again, as dramatic as that sounds.

For the win.

You'll be okay. And if not, give us the guy's address and I'll go down to Lahdan, round up the Transfans mafia and we'll kidnap the mofo and install him in your bedroom as a luxury good. With gaffer tape and superglue. He's going nowhere.

[bumblemusprime]

Hey mate, I felt pretty similar the first few months I was dating my wife. "Why is this so good? When is the other side of it going to drop?"

Turned out okay... though we had to go through some rough periods with my insanity before the proposal happened.

This is probably no help at all, but I tend to think that certain things do happen for a reason. And sometimes the universe just decides that we need to be happy, to know what real euphoric happiness and love are to put the rest of our lives in perspective and make the inevitable hard times down the road more poignant.

What would happen if you told him you loved him and all this other good stuff?

[Obfleur]

Hound, I think you're awesome
Hugs!

[Hound]

What would happen if you told him you loved him and all this other good stuff?

I think it would probably freak him out. It's a bit soon in all honesty.

You guys are awesome. Thank you

[Best First]

i have come into a thread and any wise words i may have had to offer have been superceded by Predabot's contribution.

Not a good day.

Benjy you are ace though. So don't let no fool tell you otherwise.

Even if that fool is you.

Fool.

[Predabot]

Ace advice from the Transfans here, Hound. Hope things work out for you, mate.

[Hound]

Well, I spent the weekend with him and had such an amazing time. We didn't do much activity wise, but that was irrelevant as we seemed to enjoy each others company so much. I can't remember the last time I smiled so much.

I really got a sense that he likes me too and that some of his natural defences may have dropped.

Thanks again for all of your kind words and fingers crossed!

[Hound]

So, to conclude this...we went out on Friday night, and he asked me to be his boyfriend

[Brendocon]

I hope you said you'd think about it.

You know you want to play hard to get buddy.

[Obfleur]

Super awesome!!

[Predabot]

Good show mate, good show.