The Mighty Boosh
Moderators:Best First, spiderfrommars, IronHide
Piked the whole lot off a torrent, love this (jonny) segment a lot:
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Howard: Can't you just tell me a story or something?
Vince: A story? About what?
H: About when you were growing up, you know in the forests.
V: You've heard all those stories.
H: Yeah but I like to hear them again, come on.
V: Do you? Alright...
When I was young I was raised in the forests by Brian Ferry. It was amazing. Magic times. I loved hanging out with Ferry. Oh we used to go hunting, fishing. We lived in a small house made out of bus tickets. Brilliant. Problem was; Brian used to go on tour quite alot so he used to leave me with various different animals.
I remember one time he left me with Jahooly the leopard, who was pretty irresponsible. He used to take me out killing gazelles. Knowing full well that Brian was a strict vegetarian he used to feed me the soft tasty meat. I remember afterwards, oh I'd be so full I'd need a little sleepy. But just as I was nodding off old Calooney the dirty cobra came whisking up the side of the tree.
He said to me ''You should never sleep'' I said ''Why Calooney, what are you on about?'' and he said ''Because the monkey folk plan to steal your face'' I went ''What do you mean?''
Apparently the king monkey wanted a man's face in order to be a proper king, and he'd seen mine and that was the one he wanted. He tried to get Columbo's but that was on too tight.
Anway, the problem was it was so hot in the jungle, and I was so full I couldn't help it - I fell asleep...
H: You idiot. Ooh no.
V: I know, what an idiot.
H: So what happened next?
V: Oh, that's another story for another time.
H: What?
V: That's the end.
H: What do you mean that's the end? That's not, it's the beginning of something interesting.
V: Listen, that's the end of that saga.
H: What? Are you Icelandic? What are you talking about? I want the end of the story.
V: Listen. I went so far and now I'm stopping.
H: Who are you dealing out stories in chunks like that? Jonny Segment?
V: Yeah.
H: Give me the ending.
V: I'm the storyteller, I'll decide. And you've had your fill.
H: I haven't had my fill ok, give me the ending. You can't leave a man, get him all juiced up, leave him dangling like that.
V: That's my style.
H: What, the dangler?
V: Yeah - the juicy dangler.
H: You're ill.
V: You've had all the word nourishment you need.
H: I'm empty, I need the pudding.
V: Oh you're so greedy.
H: What?
V: Greedy for the verse.
H: Just, come on.
V: Slow down.
H: ... ridiculous.
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Howard: Can't you just tell me a story or something?
Vince: A story? About what?
H: About when you were growing up, you know in the forests.
V: You've heard all those stories.
H: Yeah but I like to hear them again, come on.
V: Do you? Alright...
When I was young I was raised in the forests by Brian Ferry. It was amazing. Magic times. I loved hanging out with Ferry. Oh we used to go hunting, fishing. We lived in a small house made out of bus tickets. Brilliant. Problem was; Brian used to go on tour quite alot so he used to leave me with various different animals.
I remember one time he left me with Jahooly the leopard, who was pretty irresponsible. He used to take me out killing gazelles. Knowing full well that Brian was a strict vegetarian he used to feed me the soft tasty meat. I remember afterwards, oh I'd be so full I'd need a little sleepy. But just as I was nodding off old Calooney the dirty cobra came whisking up the side of the tree.
He said to me ''You should never sleep'' I said ''Why Calooney, what are you on about?'' and he said ''Because the monkey folk plan to steal your face'' I went ''What do you mean?''
Apparently the king monkey wanted a man's face in order to be a proper king, and he'd seen mine and that was the one he wanted. He tried to get Columbo's but that was on too tight.
Anway, the problem was it was so hot in the jungle, and I was so full I couldn't help it - I fell asleep...
H: You idiot. Ooh no.
V: I know, what an idiot.
H: So what happened next?
V: Oh, that's another story for another time.
H: What?
V: That's the end.
H: What do you mean that's the end? That's not, it's the beginning of something interesting.
V: Listen, that's the end of that saga.
H: What? Are you Icelandic? What are you talking about? I want the end of the story.
V: Listen. I went so far and now I'm stopping.
H: Who are you dealing out stories in chunks like that? Jonny Segment?
V: Yeah.
H: Give me the ending.
V: I'm the storyteller, I'll decide. And you've had your fill.
H: I haven't had my fill ok, give me the ending. You can't leave a man, get him all juiced up, leave him dangling like that.
V: That's my style.
H: What, the dangler?
V: Yeah - the juicy dangler.
H: You're ill.
V: You've had all the word nourishment you need.
H: I'm empty, I need the pudding.
V: Oh you're so greedy.
H: What?
V: Greedy for the verse.
H: Just, come on.
V: Slow down.
H: ... ridiculous.
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- Best First
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- Joined:Tue Oct 17, 2000 11:00 pm
- Location:Manchester, UK
- Contact:
Ice flow nowhere to go
Ice flow nowhere to go
Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundra
They call him the shrew,
Arms in short,
Then with the claw
Whiteness,
Nothingness,
Endlessness
Death
The whiteness of the
Pales in comparison
Oh my god!
Who the hell are you?
I’m little Johnny Frostbite moving around
Freezin’ you up freezing you down
Like an icicle
Comin’ in your tent like a cold night scissor bite
Arctic death
Infinite night
They call me tundra boy because
I move like an arctic lizzard
When the Blizzard strikes
I disappear like a pipedream
All that’s left is the gleam
Of a tent peg
Boosh, Boosh, Stronger than a moose
Don’t lock your doors or we’ll come through your roof top
Stop look around take your mind off the floor
Because The Boosh is loose and we’re a little bit RAW!
Ice, flow, nowhere to go
Ice, flow, nowhere to go
Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundraaaaaaa!
Ice flow nowhere to go
Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundra
They call him the shrew,
Arms in short,
Then with the claw
Whiteness,
Nothingness,
Endlessness
Death
The whiteness of the
Pales in comparison
Oh my god!
Who the hell are you?
I’m little Johnny Frostbite moving around
Freezin’ you up freezing you down
Like an icicle
Comin’ in your tent like a cold night scissor bite
Arctic death
Infinite night
They call me tundra boy because
I move like an arctic lizzard
When the Blizzard strikes
I disappear like a pipedream
All that’s left is the gleam
Of a tent peg
Boosh, Boosh, Stronger than a moose
Don’t lock your doors or we’ll come through your roof top
Stop look around take your mind off the floor
Because The Boosh is loose and we’re a little bit RAW!
Ice, flow, nowhere to go
Ice, flow, nowhere to go
Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundraaaaaaa!
- Best First
- King of the, er, Kingdom.
- Posts:9750
- Joined:Tue Oct 17, 2000 11:00 pm
- Location:Manchester, UK
- Contact:
- Best First
- King of the, er, Kingdom.
- Posts:9750
- Joined:Tue Oct 17, 2000 11:00 pm
- Location:Manchester, UK
- Contact:
- Best First
- King of the, er, Kingdom.
- Posts:9750
- Joined:Tue Oct 17, 2000 11:00 pm
- Location:Manchester, UK
- Contact:
- Best First
- King of the, er, Kingdom.
- Posts:9750
- Joined:Tue Oct 17, 2000 11:00 pm
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- Contact:
- Metal Vendetta
- Big Honking Planet Eater
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- Aaron Hong
- Me king!
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- ::No pity for fools
- Location:...No let ME fold the map GAAH
- Aaron Hong
- Me king!
- Posts:1269
- Joined:Fri Jan 11, 2002 12:00 am
- ::No pity for fools
- Location:...No let ME fold the map GAAH
- Best First
- King of the, er, Kingdom.
- Posts:9750
- Joined:Tue Oct 17, 2000 11:00 pm
- Location:Manchester, UK
- Contact:
Vince: I've invented a new game. It's called "Punch the Rabbit in His Big White Face"
Howard: Really? How does it work?
Vince: Well, what happens is, this giant rabbit chases you. But the thing is, you'll never know when it's comming for you, It could be today, it could be tomorrow, or maybe even next year, and when it does, you have to throw coins at it to keep it at bay, and if that doesn't work it catches you, knocks you on the ground and rapes you!
Howard: That's not a game. That's a sequence of events. Culminating in a rape.
Howard: Really? How does it work?
Vince: Well, what happens is, this giant rabbit chases you. But the thing is, you'll never know when it's comming for you, It could be today, it could be tomorrow, or maybe even next year, and when it does, you have to throw coins at it to keep it at bay, and if that doesn't work it catches you, knocks you on the ground and rapes you!
Howard: That's not a game. That's a sequence of events. Culminating in a rape.