The squirrel was a goddamn narcotics agent

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:15 pm

As those of you who stayed at mine over the w/end will be aware, amongst the herbs in my garden was a largish mary jane plant that had just started to flower.

After I left Rebis at the tube station on Sunday, and bought some food, I went back to prepare my dinner (chicken, veg, potatoes, gravy, usual thing) and popped out into the garden to grab some herbs - rosemary, mint, that sort of thing. I noticed that the "special" herb plant didn't look its usual self, so I wandered over to find that its main stem had been severed about an inch above the ground and the plant was, in fact, dead.

Pure rage built up inside me and I cast about for someone on whom this despicable deed could be blamed. But no, upon closer examination of the crime scene it became apparent that my plant had been killed, not by human means, but by a squirrel gnawing through it. There were squirrel hairs all over the place and quite a few stuck to the base of the stem itself.

Long story short, a squirrel killed my weed. He didn't eat the budding flowers or anything, just toppled the plant and left it. Is that not the most bizzare and ******-up thing you ever heard of?

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:17 pm

Squirrel kills skunk! News at 11.

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:22 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:33 pm

Brendocon wrote:Squirrel kills skunk! News at 11.

Its writes itself!

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 12:55 pm

"WAAAZZZAAAAA!!"

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 6:52 pm

I'm very sorry for you, Rob.

(laughing)

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 9:41 pm

At least he wasn't smoking it.

Ah, pwetty squwirril...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:14 pm

Squirrels are evil, and psychotic.

I heard on the radio today that they shag trees just to dominate their women.

I also saw a suicidal squirrel dogde two cars (second one was mine) that must've had a combined velocity well over 100mph (we were travelling in opposite directions, you might've guessed), just to cross a road (where the rotting badger corpse is still hanging out, btw).

Sorry to hear about your MJ, EmVee, but you have to keep your resolve, and not let any future rodent incursions deprive you of your shrooms!

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:28 pm

Rebis wrote:they shag trees just to dominate their women.

How does THAT work?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:36 pm

Autobloke wrote:
Rebis wrote:they shag trees just to dominate their women.
How does THAT work?

Umm... perhaps they're showing how hard they are?

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:45 pm

Skunk killing, opressive tree-violators...!

Squirrels have more character than I thought.

I'm going to start flipping them the bird. That'll learn 'em! That'll learn 'em good!

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:47 pm

Rebis wrote:Umm... perhaps they're showing how hard they are?

When you say 'hard'..?

Aaron Hong · Post by **Aaron Hong** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 2:46 am

Autobloke wrote:
Rebis wrote:Umm... perhaps they're showing how hard they are?
When you say 'hard'..?

To think that generations of Chinese believed in tiger dicks for power... God crappit, no wonder there's so many rednecks out there.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 1:21 pm

It just made me think of this:
In days of old, when knights were bold,
And women weren't invented,
Men drilled holes, in telegraph poles,
And stood there quite contented.

Schooldays were fun when I were a nipper.

Kup_1 · Post by **Kup_1** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 2:08 am

Aaron Hong wrote:
Autobloke wrote:
Rebis wrote:Umm... perhaps they're showing how hard they are?
When you say 'hard'..?
To think that generations of Chinese believed in tiger dicks for power... God crappit, no wonder there's so many rednecks out there.

I just laughed so hard I almost fell outta my chair....

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:09 am

Metal Vendetta wrote:
Long story short, a squirrel killed my weed. He didn't eat the budding flowers or anything, just toppled the plant and left it. Is that not the most bizzare and ******-up thing you ever heard of?

*Plays mission impossible music*

"I bet he drinks Carling Black Label"

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 2:17 pm

Jetfire wrote:*Plays mission impossible music*

"I bet he drinks Carling Black Label"

Fantastic advert!

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:37 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:. I noticed that the "special" herb plant didn't look its usual self, so I wandered over to find that its main stem had been severed about an inch above the ground and the plant was, in fact, dead.

I'm no botanist, because plants don't remotely interest me regardless of their pleasures, could it be salvaged by rooting powder?

Still look at the work these guys put into their special imports. Only to have some lazy arsed police officers laugh themselves silly watching them dig it and then move in at the end to arrest everybody.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objecti ... _page.html

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:03 pm

Jetfire wrote:I'm no botanist, because plants don't remotely interest me regardless of their pleasures, could it be salvaged by rooting powder?

I took a couple of cuttings which might be salvageable with a little rooting powder - if they both take then the squirrel actually helped my plant to reproduce. Weird, huh?

Kup_1 · Post by **Kup_1** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:06 am

Question:

Would the sap have any narcotic effects? Of so, it might be why the squirrell did that....

Aaron Hong · Post by **Aaron Hong** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:34 am

Metal Vendetta wrote:... the squirrel actually helped my plant to reproduce.

I stand by my claims.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 9:05 am

Kup_1 wrote:Question:

Would the sap have any narcotic effects? Of so, it might be why the squirrell did that....

Nah - it's the flowers that contain the THC. The sap, as far as I know is neutral.

TransFans.co.uk

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