Worst Film Ever?

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 2:54 pm

What's the most execreble piece of **** you've ever had the misfortune to watch?

Bring on the negativity!

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 2:59 pm

*Brain explodes from trying to narrow down and gather thoughts to present answer*

Um, Lost Souls is what immediately comes to mind.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:01 pm

Of those that leap to mind which I've sat all the way through in recent memory...

Queen of the Damned.

Shockingly terrible.

Pissin' Poonani · Post by **Pissin' Poonani** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:04 pm

Anchorman. One of those films that's so bad, I couldn't watch it all the way through.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:07 pm

Brendocon wrote:Of those that leap to mind which I've sat all the way through in recent memory...

Queen of the Damned.

Shockingly terrible.

That's one of those cheese movies I love actually.

Plus, I love Aaliyah. R.I.P.

Ozz · Post by **Ozz** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:09 pm

I turned off About Schmidt in the midle. I can't say it was really bad, it just bored the hell out of me.

Really bad? Nothing comes to mind when I really want it. Except that Brend mentioned Queen of the Damned...

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:21 pm

Ozz wrote:I turned off About Schmidt in the midle. I can't say it was really bad, it just bored the hell out of me.

Me as well. My buddy said it was a great movie, others tell me it was a great movie. The part I saw was sad (not in a sucky way, in a really sad way) and got really boring. I can handle sad. Not sad and incredibly boring.

Battlefield Earth disappointed me. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation blew. Freddy vs. Jason, anyone?

And yes, Queen of the Damned was bad. In no way a worthy sequal to Interview with the Vampire, as it should have been. But, um, behold the power of cheese.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:58 pm

I like About Schmidt! It's... sweet.

Haven't seen most of the others, I'll stay clear of them.

Though I thought Freddy Vs Jason was passable.

Tired Tracks · Post by **Tired Tracks** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:58 pm

That Team America movie. I am really surprised I watched it to the end

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:02 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:Though I thought Freddy Vs Jason was passable.

The scene where everyone gathers at the table to come up with a plan makes my hole climb into my stomach. Not the best feeling in the world.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:02 pm

Freddy vs Jason was enjoyable tosh, and at least referenced both its properties well, what with the dream-suppressant drugs and all. The Jay-alike stoner was quite entertaining too.

Worst film? Well since Vanilla Sky I've refused to watch another Tom Cruise movie, it was so execrably awful. Batman and Robin made me want to cry. Mel Gibson's The Passion was well made but they forgot to put in a plot, and seeing as I couldn't really care less what happened to Jebus it was totally wasted on me.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:12 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Batman and Robin made me want to cry.

I did cry.

Metal Vendetta wrote: ...and seeing as I couldn't really care less what happened to Jebus it was totally wasted on me.

On a lot of folks really.

Dude Where's My Car really sparked my hatred for Ashtin Kutcher (note: I may have spelled his name wrong. secondary note: I don't care.)

It's funny this topic popped up though. Last night I did something I told myself I'd never do; I watched AvP. I'm still experiencing the aneurism that started about halfway through that piece of ****.

And I still don't ****ing understand Eyes Wide Shut.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:18 pm

Eyes Wide Shut - that has Tom Cruise in it, right? Never seen it.

AvP was okay, nothing like as special as it should have been, though.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:21 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Eyes Wide Shut - that has Tom Cruise in it, right? Never seen it.

Wow, Vanilla Sky got you just in time then, didn't it.

Metal Vendetta wrote:AvP was okay, nothing like as special as it should have been, though.

It got worse afterward when I went to my best friend's house and we ended up kickin' back and watching the original Predator. That Predator looks ******* real. The AvP Preds look like exactly what they are; Bulbous foamy plastic pieces of crap with ugly gumlines. Sometimes I can't figure out what said friend hates more; George Bush, or the way AvP **** on his favorite comic book series ever.

Ozz · Post by **Ozz** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:49 pm

Señior's Covenant wrote:Mortal Kombat: Annihilation blew.

Oh yeah. Too much "characters", silly twists.

I actually caught Batman & Robin on TV recently. It was bit better than I remember it from cinema, but only because it didn't have that awful dub.

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:48 pm

Batman and Robin used to be my worst. But once I got over it I see it as Arnies best comedy role ever. Those one liners after a couple of tinnies are class. Somehow they work. If anybody other than arnie delivered them they wouldn't even work as bad comedy but that man makes them work.

"You won't be takin me to the cooler"

"Ice to see you"

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:01 pm

All of these movies you've mentions are nothing but amateurs, for the spot of suckiest movies ever made.

HERE'S the real deal!

When describing this lovely piece of cinematographic horror history some of the reviewers have used these ravishing words:

"This movie took an hour and a half of my life. And i want it back"

"only way it could've been worse is if Uwe Boll directed it"

"NO ! Dont subject yourself to this ! only watch this if you want to get a cheating Girlfriend/Boyfriend back, this is the ideal tourture !! Trust me!"

"Dire excrement"

The theme-song!

Hear the footsteps, noises in the night.
Somethin’s burning, fire burning bright.
Keeps gettin’ closer, chills me to my soul.
They come to get me, hear the Devil call.

The Deeead…are after me!
I said the Deeead…are after me!

I saw something, that I shouldn’t see…

We are the Raiders, of the Living Dead.
And now the hunted, are huntin’ them instead.
Got to destroy, master and the slave,
We’ve got to drive them, back into the grave!

More! http://www.jabootu.com/rld.htm

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:07 pm

I was trying to stay away from the older, low-budget movies. The majority of them tend to go without saying. It would be easier to pick what didn't suck from a list like that. I mean, for the one you're talking about, they include the following about it...

Before the film was completed, producers Samuel M. Sherman and Brett Piper sold the television rights to the films re-edited rough cut. It was played on the USA Network's "Up All Night" series. The producers then used their sale money to complete the film as we see it today.

Yeesh.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:08 pm

Blair Witch. And I don't mean Cherie.
Soul Survivors.
Jennifer Lopez. Sorry - ANYTHING with Jennifer Lopez.
Demon Toys.

Oh, too many to even mention - I'm picky.
And I like Battlefield Earth.
Okay, not THAT picky then.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:13 pm

Autobloke wrote:Jennifer Lopez. Sorry - ANYTHING with Jennifer Lopez.

As much as I'm indifferent about her, I did like her and how she played the part in Selena. Of course, I'd prefer Selena not murdered in real life, therefore no tribute movie, ergo no breaking role for Lopez, and as such there'd be one more very amazing singer around, as well as a unemployed Fly-Girl.

To quote an old man that had some interesting looks on life, "Why are all my favorite singers dead?"

Oh yeah, almost forgot, I never really liked Van Damme movies. Most of them were about him playing two roles. One flick like that's okay I guess, but keep pumping them out and c'mon.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:15 pm

Hellboy - I hate that film so much.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:18 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:Hellboy - I hate that film so much.

Me too - I so much tried to like it.
What about Steven Seagal movies?

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:22 pm

Autobloke wrote:What about Steven Seagal movies?

My father loves Seagal movies! I never got into them. They're all exactly the same film, just a different location. And someone needs to help him practice that he's not supposed to say "Hello" until after the phone is to his ear, or picked up for that matter.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:36 pm

He's in the same class as Chuck Norris. But my mum thinks he's sexy, so don't tell her I mentioned him in this topic.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 7:43 pm

Autobloke wrote:He's in the same class as Chuck Norris. But my mum thinks he's sexy, so don't tell her I mentioned him in this topic.

Norris is also a Father-favorite in my clan.

My mother isn't so much for him. She's more a Patrick Stewart kind of gal. Not that she'll admit it.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:41 pm

Ah, it's a 'bald' thing.
Which is no 'bad' thing.
Has Patrick Stewart ever done a pump movie? And I don't mean that as porno slang.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:42 pm

I like Hellboy, Vanilla Sky and Eyes Wide Shut.

AvP... again, passable.

Batman and Robin, below average.

Lopez was good in Out of Sight.

Preds: picking the film at the bottom of the imdb list isn't really the point.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:47 pm

I didn't like Tooth.

Waits for p*ss-take to start about the fact I even watched it.

It had Harry Enfield in it as a fairy hunter.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:50 pm

Autobloke wrote:Ah, it's a 'bald' thing.
Which is no 'bad' thing.
Has Patrick Stewart ever done a pump movie? And I don't mean that as porno slang.

There was Masterminds. Also there was Safe House. I never saw that one, but everyone I know that has says it was bad. Not horrible, but bad.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:52 pm

Safe House wasn't that bad. I think he went nuts and swore at a woman in it.
"Just do it, Number One!" (not 'a number one', though)