A thread about... Scotland!

[Obfleur]

My GF is going to Scotland, for a week or something.

I want to give her a package () with some fun Scotland related items.
The problem is; the only thing I know about Scotland is Braveheart, Sean Connery and kilts.

So now I'm asking you guys for help.

Is there some sort of 'English - Scottish slang' dictionary somewhere on the internet, that I can print and give to her? Or do you know of any scottish slang? Maybe the phrase "it's the dogs bollocks" is used in Scotland as well?

Name some famous Scottish people, if there are any

If you have any fun ideas, or whatever, speak up!
I have a bunch of ideas myself, but I could use alot more.

Thanks in advance.

[Autobloke]

Sean Connery.
Kilts.
Braveheart.

Bugger. That's the lot, isn't it?

Haggis. Tell her to eat it, but don't tell her what it is until she gets back home. SPEEEEWWWWW!!! You can get it in supermarkets.

Shortbread. Porridge. Sporran. Bagpipes. Tight-fistedness.

This might give you some ideas:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland
Check out option 7.7 Miscellaneous

[KingMob]

Name some famous Scottish people, if there are any

Me.

Oh wait, I'm only famous in those daydreams my boss is always catching me in.


edit: THIS WILL BE LONG, SORRY

Where in Scotland is she going? Just curious, also might be handy to know for survival tips and phrases.

Braveheart is about 700 years out of date and not really accurate anyway, Sean Connery hasn't lived here for 20 years and has been hugely wealthy for 3/4 of his life but still thinks he knows what Scotland's about and kilts....okay, we wear kilts a lot. But not like just wondering about on the street or anything.
If you see people just walking around on the street or basically anywhere that doesn't involve some kind of traditional celebratory event, they're a tourist who thinks they're Scottish because their great-great-great-grandfather once winked at a sheep here or something. They are very annoying. This is often what they look like:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/4061 ... 00x220.jpg
Grrr.

In other picture news, this is what we're doing where I live today.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/4085872.stm
The TARDIS is in pic 4.

Does your girlfriend like drinking? Because we throw you out of the country if you don't take a drink, you know.

If your gf knows English slang then that should work fine here. Obv we have our own stuff but it's not exclusive. Oh, tho nobody actually says "It's pure dead brilliant" or any variation on 'Comedy' Scots that you only ever here spoken by non-Scottish people ie "Och Aye the Noo" or that kind of crap. I've only heard anything like that said once in my life and that was when I was in Plymouth and some twerp was trying to start a fight with me.
Nor are we all called Jock, which people seem to think is my name whenever I go down south, despite me telling them my actual name about 3 times.

Haggis is nice, it's no different from black pudding, liver, tongue or indeed any other form of food that's derived from slaughtering animals and then consuming their body parts, don't be a ****.
Anyway it's not like we force it down people's throats, it's just an option on the menu.

Gifts normally given to folk associated with Scotland seem to be shortbread, a badge or something made out of the nearest tartan to whatever clan people pretend they somehow belong to, a whisky minature, something to do with a Highland Cow - either a stuffed toy or a postcard...altho the cow can be replaced by a West Highland Terrier for no ill effects...a bit of haggis, whisky or haggis (notice a theme yet?) flavoured condoms and a stupid tartan bonnet with a ginger wig stuck to it because somehow the (hugely erroneous) idea that we're all redheads got out there. I blame the Tartan Army.

Other than a map, a good tourguide of the places she's going, something to listen to on the trip over - Billy Connolly? - plenty of money for booze, eating out and gigs, and a camera, what kinds of things are you looking for?


Some Hopefully Famous Scots in a random order depending on when I remember them:

Ewan McGregor - actor; Star Wars, Trainspotting
Ian McDiarmid - actor; Star Wars
Denis Lawson - actor; OK he isn't that famous but seeing as I put down Obi-Wan and the Emperor, it felt nasty to leave Wedge out.
Robert Carlyle - actor; Trainspotting
Billy Boyd - actor, Pippin outta LOTR
Brian Cox - actor; Hanibal Lektor in Manhunter, Stryker in X-Men 2
Alan Cumming - actor; Nightcrawler in X-Men 2
Billy Connolly - comedian; can act when he can be bothered
Robbie Coltrane - comedian and actor
Dougray Scott - actor and a joke. Mission Impossible 2 and every second of his life.
Rory Bremner - comedian, satirist
Charles Rennie MacKintosh - architect, designer, craftsman; invented an art style named for him
Jack Vettriano - artist who is bizarrely popular; his stuff seems to be everywhere nowadays
Robert Burns - poet
Willaim MacGonagall - Official Worst Poet Ever - seriously.
Midge Ure - musician, allegedly. Mostly does charity work.
Annie Lennox - musician
Shirley Manson - her from Garbage
Sir JM Barrie - writer; Peter Pan
AA Milne - writer; Winne-the Pooh, yay!
Sir Walter Scott - writer; och ma donnae docket etc
Alaistair MacLean - writer; thrillers that dads read
Ian Rankin - writer; Inspector Rebus
Irvine Welsh - writer; Trainspotting etc
Arthur Conan Doyle - writer; Sherlock homes
Robert Louis Stevenson - writer, explorer; Dr.Jekyll etc
Dr David Livingstone - explorer; yes, that one
James Hogg - writer; Confessions of a Justifed Sinner
John Buchan - writer; 39 Steps - also invented Canada (OK, he was just Governor-General)
Adam Smith - economist, 'invented' modern concept of free trade
John Logie Baird - invented television OR first to broadcast TV signals depending on who's writing the history book
Alexander Graham Bell - invented telephones
Gordon Brown - current Chancellor
Robin Cook - MP, troublemaker
Gorgeous George Galloway - MP, troublemaker
Donald Dewar - bloke who organised Scottish Devolution
Jackie Stewart - racing driver
David Coulthard - racing driver, squarechin of doom
Colin Montgomerie - golfer, miserable get
Alex Ferguson - best Football Manager in the World EVAH
Kenny Dalgleish - ginger ****; also football manager
Andrew Carnegie - philanthropist; Carnegie Hall etc
Gordon Ramsay - Celebrity Chef, but a cool one
William Wallace - freedom fighter; had Mel Gibson's face
Grant Morrison - 2nd best comics writer ever
Mark Millar - another comic writer of note
Frank Quitely - one of the top 5 comics artists; personal fave.
Ian (M) Banks - writer; Wasp Factory, the Culture SF novels.

I tried to leave out the boring* ones but left some of them in coz they have monuments and stuff in the touristy areas.

Rod Stewart, no matter how much he may try to convince you otherwise, is not Scottish.

*important historical inventor/pioneer/explorer types

Sorry for length of this post!

[Shanti418]

Nicely done, sir.

Except for that whole Adam Smith thing, you've got a pretty good country going on there.

[Scraplet]

Isn't Ian (M) Banks also Scottish, KingMob? Fantasitic author, and (if Scottish!) worthy of adding to your list.

Fantastic place -I going next week near Skye (Loch Carron). Lots of history and lots of walks & amazing landscapes.

Obfeur, you can't think Scotland without the Loch Ness Monster

I promised to take the kids Nessie spotting.

[KingMob]

Isn't Ian (M) Banks also Scottish, KingMob? Fantasitic author, and (if Scottish!) worthy of adding to your list.

Damn, forgot about him. Which is daft as I love his books and come from the same place - as do Dougray Scott, Gordon Brown and Ian Rankin.
Well, within a 20-odd mile area anyway.
Hope you enjoy your trip man. There's some great places to go hillwalking up here; alas I've only been over near Skye just the once, but it was nifty.

[Dead Head]

I was on vacation there in 2003.

Glasgow = a hole.
Edinburgh = lovely spot.

[KingMob]

Glasgow = sheer amazingness
Edinburgh = pretty but soulless

fxd

[Metal Vendetta]

Am I allowed to mention Rab C. Nesbitt? I thought he was hilarious, but no-one else that I knew could understand what he said. A very funny series, maybe too much of a Scottish cliche, though?

[Impactor returns 2.0]

edward the longshanks had the right idea...

[KingMob]

Am I allowed to mention Rab C. Nesbitt? I thought he was hilarious, but no-one else that I knew could understand what he said. A very funny series, maybe too much of a Scottish cliche, though?

Mention what you like
And it's not really a cliche as far as I'm concerned; although it's now a very out of date image. Glad you liked it. Do you guys get Chewin' the Fat on TV? Or any of the other shows from that team? The characters on that are more representative of Scotland than Rab C. Unfortuately, in some cases. Funny tho!

edward the longshanks had the right idea...

Take the country into debt to fund warfare, kick out all the Jews, raise taxes and then randomly start a cycle of needless violence that'd last 150 years?
He was a right hard b*stard, tho
edit: and it's an important point for anyone wanting to know about Scotland; the importance of England is impossible to understate, both for good and ill. Personally I'd have it no other way.

[Denyer]

The only thing you really need to know about Scotland is that the vinegar's already in the sauce when eating out...

nobody actually says "It's pure dead brilliant"

They do, I've met her. Sample dialogue:

"By the way, by the way, sorry to be pure nippy but if I could just chum you for a wee while and we could spraff lots then that would be pure ace by the way!"

[Obfleur]

Most awesome KingMob. Thanks dude!

Highland cows rule!

[Best First]

Ian McDiarmid - actor; Star Wars

did you mean:

Ian McDiarmid - Pantomime Dame; Star Wars

?

[Metal Vendetta]

nobody actually says "It's pure dead brilliant"

They do, I've met her. Sample dialogue:

"By the way, by the way, sorry to be pure nippy but if I could just chum you for a wee while and we could spraff lots then that would be pure ace by the way!"

Heh, I was chatting to my neighbour about Doctor Who the other day, and I said wasn't it good when the flying saucer crashed into Big Ben, and he said, "Aye, it looked good in the adverts but if ye look properly ye can tell it's jest a wee shitey moadil*" - which has now become one of my favourite phrases.

KM - is that the team that did Absolutely?

*see Irvine Welsh for spelling

[Brendocon]

Do you guys get Chewin' the Fat on TV?

I think I saw one series of that... I remember something about putting sawdust on everything.

Or that might have been something else...

[Best First]

Do you guys get Chewin' the Fat on TV?

I think I saw one series of that... I remember something about putting sawdust on everything.

Or that might have been something else...

I think it was shown in the North East but further south they chose to not show it and instead campaign to raise funds to rebuild hadrian's wall.

or something.

Or:

General rule of thumb with BBC comedy "not sure when to schedule it? Lets put in on at 2am on BBC2"