Superman is a dick.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:31 pm

Heh he heh...I love these.

http://www.nationallampoon.com/supermanisadick/

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:43 pm

Oh my god. Are those for real?

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 6:37 pm

BOULDER FIGHT!

Oh [composite word including 'f*ck']. HA!

It's too good. Why haven't I seen this before.

I don't know what's better; Catholic Supes or the time machine!

Everyone I know's getting a link to that!

Master_Fwiffo · Post by **Master_Fwiffo** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:39 pm

Did you know this was started at the Allspark?

Yes! Thats right! Something this great came out of a Transformer message board!

Whodathunkit?

Master_Fwiffo · Post by **Master_Fwiffo** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:42 pm

Señior's Covenant wrote: Oh ****. HA! It's too good. Why haven't I seen this before.

Cause it's only been up for a week. :P

Everyone I know's getting a link to that!

Be careful. When the site originaly aired at supermanisadick.com, the servers crashed after two days. They were getting something like 200 hits/second.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 7:52 pm

Master_Fwiffo wrote:Be careful. When the site originaly aired at supermanisadick.com, the servers crashed after two days. They were getting something like 200 hits/second.

Eh, don't worry. I don't know that many people honestly.

Redstreak · Post by **Redstreak** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:54 pm

Master_Fwiffo wrote:Did you know this was started at the Allspark?

Yes! Thats right! Something this great came out of a Transformer message board!

Whodathunkit?

But, but it IS the All-Spark...

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 12:26 am

I rememebr that being posted at the archive some months ago. Some examples we ripped off:

I believe Cliffy commented "Wow DC did put out some pretty dark stuff back then

Now I must remember if there was anybody in the DC universe that Lois Lane didn't marry beofr tying the knot with Clark.....

And Lois, what a slut anyways:

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 7:31 am

Holy..!

They're just lining up, aren't they?

Post by **Denyer** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 7:46 am

List of more practical uses Superboy can make of a machine that can see through time:

1. Betting on the outcomes of sporting events.
2. Forseeing natural diasters and catastrophhe.
3. Letting Bruce Wayne know that his parents are going to be gunned down in front of his very eyes in a filthy alley, you dick.

Pissin' Poonani · Post by **Pissin' Poonani** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 9:14 am

Denyer wrote: 3. Letting Bruce Wayne know that his parents are going to be gunned down in front of his very eyes in a filthy alley, you dick.

My fave is 'Superman, King of the Earth', only because the white-haired bloke manages to trump the rest of the nations leaders by bringing Superman a jelly made from diamond. That's classy.

Post by **Best First** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 10:50 am

Denyer wrote:List of more practical uses Superboy can make of a machine that can see through time:

1. Betting on the outcomes of sporting events.
2. Forseeing natural diasters and catastrophhe.
3. Letting Bruce Wayne know that his parents are going to be gunned down in front of his very eyes in a filthy alley, you dick.

yeah, that just killed me.

great stuff.

Legion · Post by **Legion** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 11:37 am

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:04 pm

is there any racist comments?

Have you seen the film battle of britain? - the captains black dog is called 'nigger'

oh how we used to be...

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:18 pm

Wow, Superman really is a dick.

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:is there any racist comments?

Check out the 'Slap A Jap' cover. *shudder*

Post by **Best First** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:40 pm

This is now doing the rounds at my office.

The gleeful looks on his face are priceless - its like he exists entirely to cause pain. ha!

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 2:40 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:Wow, Superman really is a dick.

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:is there any racist comments?

Check out the 'Slap A Jap' cover. *shudder*

And 'Japanazi' near the end.

shaxper · Post by **shaxper** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:22 pm

In all fairness, in the 50/60s, DC had a tendency to blow the context of the stories completely out of proportion on the cover JUST so people would read to find out why the characters were being such dicks. I have one where Batman and Superman are making Robin and Jimmy Olson dig their own graves before they kill them.

That Bruce Wayne one was hysterical though, and I love the bit about Superman being Catholic, considering that he was created by two Jewish teenagers.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 5:21 pm

shaxper wrote:I have one where Batman and Superman are making Robin and Jimmy Olson dig their own graves before they kill them.

Yup, that one's up there too.

So what's the explanation for that in the actual comic? Have Supes and Bats been taken over by some weird mind-ray? Tricked into believing that Jimmy and Robin are impostors? Spiked with red Kryptonite and crack respectively?

shaxper · Post by **shaxper** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:36 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Yup, that one's up there too.

I only read about 8 pages in.

So what's the explanation for that in the actual comic? Have Supes and Bats been taken over by some weird mind-ray? Tricked into believing that Jimmy and Robin are impostors? Spiked with red Kryptonite and crack respectively?

It's been a while since I read it, but the answer is usually either that they're doubles or that it's a deception being put on for a bad guy. I also have one where Superman replaces Batman as his World's Finest partner. I should dig them out and give them a read.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:36 pm

"See, Bruce? My time telescope looks into the future. One day you, Bruce Wayne, will be Batman and I, Clark Kent, will be Superman!"
"Golly, Superboy. We'll both know each other's secret identities and fight crime together!"

Yeah, right. Bruce, you're a nob. Didn't you listen when Superboy gave away his secret identity to you like five seconds ago?

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 8:40 pm

has anyone read any of Kingdoms Come ? - that looks very cool

angloconvoy · Post by **angloconvoy** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:08 pm

Kingdom Come rocks my socks, but The Kingdom was kinda crappy.

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:51 pm

Kingdom Come doeth indeed rock.

Post by **Best First** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 7:04 am

Kingdom come is well worth it.

but not as well worth it as Dark Night Returns.

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 8:42 pm

Best First wrote:Kingdom come is well worth it.

but not as well worth it as Dark Night Returns.

Best comic story ever told IMO. Yes better than Watchmen.

Post by **Denyer** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:03 pm

Alternately: worth it for the four pages of banter at the end, and reminds you how bad most mainstream DC universe comics are by contrast...

Very nice art, and it's just a shame it doesn't stray far from the somewhat hackneyed main plot of "superhero remembers to work with the world". Although I suppose MiracleMan already did the alternative and DC weren't feeling up to anything as revolutionary.

jboyler · Post by **jboyler** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 3:26 am

Another trick they used to pull is "Imaginary Stories" that don't count for some reason. I recently read a silver age story where Batman and Lex Luthor team up to kill Superman, and on the last page it says, "Good thing it was only an imaginary story!"

Books like Marvel's "What if" and DC's "Elseworlds" titles carry on this tradition. (And some of them, like "Dark Knight Returns" are actually very good)

And with regard to "Kingdom Come:" Best Comic Ever. (Better than Watchmen, IMO)

-J

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:27 pm

my next question, where can i get Kindom Come, u see ive been studying one of the artists and im interested to see more of his work.
Plus the story looks cool.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:33 pm

ordered from amazon! - yay! only £9, that must be worth it?