I can't deal with this anymore.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:38 pm

For the life of me, I thought that "whore" and "promiscuous" were interchangeable. Turns out, it's used exclusively in regards to prostitution. What of "man-whores," then?

I had the single stupidest conversation with the AIE (Assistant Instructor of English) yesterday.

It was basically her asking if I could do the lesson in a certain way. I had to tell her that, while I'll do the lesson any way she wants, the Board of Education (BOE) demands that the lesson be performed a different way.

Do things her way, the BOE finds out, my company (and then, I) get in trouble.

Do things the BOE's way, she complains to the BOE that my company's teachers are hard to work with, my company (and then, I) get in trouble.

There is literally no way to win here.

And it's all a moot point anyway, since the lesson plans are crap. I've asked a lot of the JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English) if any of this stuff helped them learn English. Universal response? "No, but this is how we have to teach it."

Then I go home and have a bottle of scotch for dinner.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:48 am

I worked at another new school today. During recess, I got absolutely mobbed by a group of about 60 kids. The young kids can be pretty playful, but these kids were nuts. It started with a few kids climbing on me (fairly usual), then hanging off me (kind of painful), then they just went all out. Grabbing, poking, and eventually just all-out punching and kicking me. They backed me up against a wall (to keep them from doing that stupid "kancho" move that kids like to do) and then one of them just jumped up and punched me in the junk.

Between what my company doesn't allow me to do and what the school doesn't allow me to do, I couldn't physically defend myself (obviously), I couldn't yell at them, and I couldn't even tell them in Japanese to stop.

Once THAT was over, I went back to the teacher's room and checked my email. Somebody I worked with back in that horrible small town in Fukuoka had sent me a message. I'd left some of my teaching materials at that awful school, and the company would be returning them to me soon. She also said that one of the teachers at that school said that he, "thought he saw Kevin at a local bar the other day." She told him, "Haha, no, Kevin doesn't live around here anymore."

From my original level of pissed off (from the goddamn schoolkid assault), I got even more rabid when I thought, "Oh, great, the ****ers are trying to make the people at my company think that I'm a drunk."

That seemed unlikely. But then a wave of anger unlike any I can remember just washed over me.

"You idiots," I thought. "After what you did to me... After what you took from me... My friends. My job. My home. You honestly think that you just 'saw me in a bar?' No. Hell, no! If any of you EVER see me in that ****hole little town again, you'd better run. Because there is only ONE REASON I will ever set foot there again.

I have a sickening feeling that, sometime, that's how this is going to end for me.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:13 pm

http://www.tofugu.com/2009/07/22/how-to ... val-guide/

Found this for you Kevin.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:45 pm

Thanks! Pretty sure it's too late for that, though.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:34 pm

Professor Smooth wrote:For the life of me, I thought that "whore" and "promiscuous" were interchangeable. Turns out, it's used exclusively in regards to prostitution. What of "man-whores," then?

Generally a tongue-in-cheek expression for a promiscuous male. Another part of the double-standard referred to by Besters earlier.

Sorry to hear about the rest of it though. Maybe it was another white guy? I hear we all look alike.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:35 pm

One thing I know about little kids.

Whether they truly want to or not.

They go for the nads.

Don't know if it's because of their height and that's the nearest target, or some prepubescent infatuation with genital mutiliation.

But they will always go for the nads.

No exaggeration, when I visit my nephews I have packed my sports cup in anticipation.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:21 pm

Last night, I think I finally cracked. It was, perhaps, the worst night of my life. And the addition of an obscene amount of alcohol didn't help anything. I ignored the best advice my father ever gave me: If you feel that you REALLY need a drink, then you PROBABLY shouldn't have one.

Today, though, I feel much better.

News from the Board of Education, too. I'm now the primary teacher for all of my English lessons. I still have to follow the lesson plan, but I'm free to interpret it pretty much any way I want. I'll still have the other two teachers in the room with me, but they're pretty much just there to observe, now.

Last night got me thinking that I might have a problem with drinking. So, tonight, I went out with a bunch of my co-workers. We went to an all-you-can-drink place, then a reggae bar. Even though it would have been free, I didn't drink anything stronger than Coke with lemon. So, I'm kind of pleased with myself.

Post by **Best First** » Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:12 pm

Sounds like a good move.

As long as you obvioulsy don't go "Well there was this one night where i had lemonaide" and go mental from here on in.

The irony of posting this 3 seconds after posting about going to Vegas every two years in another topic is not lost on me.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Thu Oct 07, 2010 4:27 pm

Professor Smooth wrote:Even though it would have been free, I didn't drink anything stronger than Coke with lemon.

To be fair, if you're at the stage where you're drinking coke, laying off the booze is probably a wise move.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:12 pm

Brendocon wrote:
Professor Smooth wrote:Even though it would have been free, I didn't drink anything stronger than Coke with lemon.
To be fair, if you're at the stage where you're drinking coke, laying off the booze is probably a wise move.

Heh.

In all seriousness, Coke tastes different in certain countries. In Japan, it's less sweet. So it goes great with whatever those soft meats they serve at bbq parties.

The exceptions are the 500ml bottles of Coke. Those taste nearly identical to American Coke. I have no earthly idea why this is.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Sun Oct 10, 2010 3:53 am

I've noticed that. Sugar is less sweet than the corn syrup they use in America. Soft drinks with actual sugar instead of corn syrup are becoming a huge thing here, thus driving the big corn lobby crazy. Anyways... hope your sanity returns.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:25 am

tried the mountain dew with real sugar.. gave me heartburn.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sun Oct 10, 2010 11:10 pm

Optimus Prime Rib wrote:tried the mountain dew with real sugar.. gave me heartburn.

Hmmm. Never tried Japanese Mountain Dew. Maybe it has real sugar. Maybe it'll give me heartburn. Maybe those are good enough reasons not to try it.

...gonna buy a can, brb.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:07 am

I imagine it's pretty tough living in a foreign land where everyone is different from you.

Probably exciting at first, but then a little depressing after a while.

Hang in there, Smooth. Not many people could do what you're doing, I think.

On the plus side, I would think the experience you are liking having there is more educational than anything you could ever gather from a course in college or from a book. It's a experience that will stick with you for the rest of your life, and ultimately, I think such ventures (or adventures) make you a better person and more in tune with the world in general. Even if you do want to lay the smack down every once in a while.

Do you get to see your family every once in a while, at least?

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 1:02 am

Yaya wrote:
Do you get to see your family every once in a while, at least?

I go back at least once per year. Either in August or December/January. Thanks to Skype and YahooBB, we're able to call each other for (at most) 2 cents/yen per minute.

I keep thinking back to this meeting I had a few weeks after I finally got a job in Fukuoka. Somebody asked him if I was enjoying living in Japan. Enthusiastically, I said that I loved it. She asked me if I could understand Japanese. I admitted that I was only just starting to learn. She said (and I'll never forget this), "Just wait. Once you can understand what people around you are saying, you won't love Japan so much."

She was so right.

There've been a few times over the last six months or so, when I've been at a restaurant/bar and heard a couple of people at another table talking about me. I've actually said to the bartender, "you might want to tell the gentleman over there that I can understand them, or else there might be a problem." With only that one exception, I always get "Oh, we're sorry! No offense intended! Forgiveness, please!"

I don't mind the, "whoa! White guy!" stuff (much). It's kind of understandable. It's hard to explain to people outside Japan. It's not like seeing a black guy in a white neighborhood. That happens. In some cases, I'm the only foreign person these people will see (in real life) for months at a time. Although, that's no longer the case in Hiroshima. Most of the gaikokujin that people see are just tourists (who, of course, don't speak Japanese). People warm to me VERY quickly when they find out I'm a teacher.

Still, I keep rolling around in my mind how my life, and the lives of the people I know and care about, would be different if I didn't come to Japan (four years ago next week).

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:32 am

When I was in Japan, I remember feeling that it was kind of exclusive. Not that the people were mean or anything. They treated us well. But it was very different from anywhere else I had been.

I kind of respected them, in some way. I respected the fact that, unlike a lot of the world, they were more protective of their identity and less influenced by outside cultures and influences.

As a teacher of English, does that open the door for you to other international opportunities? I mean, are you limited to Japan or, if you chose, do you think you might enjoy living in other parts of the world? Do you speak other languages?

As a physician, one of the biggest benefits for me is that I can practice my trade in many parts of the world and help many different people. It would seem you are in a similar position given what you do.

I bring this up because, putting myself in your shoes, I would think things would get pretty claustrophobic at times. I would think it almost natural. Glad to hear that at least you get to go home sometimes, which would be crucial to my sanity in that position.

Don't ever feel trapped. You have a profession that can take you many places. If you ever tire of Japan, I'm sure other exciting opportunities are there waiting for you.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:20 am

I've been thinking about writing a book (collection of short stories) about some of the stuff that I've been a part of over here. There's no shortage of, "oh, it's so strange in Japan" type books. And if the book market is over-saturated, you should see how many blogs there are devoted to the subject.

BUT, most of the stories I have (that are worth telling) simply would not have happened to anybody else at any other place in time. The weirdness in some of my stories comes directly from ME being in the right place at the right time. And, I think some of them are kind of amusing. So, I'm going to share a few of them here. In abridged format, of course.

"You've got a Pretty Face"

My ex-girlfriend was almost always late. I, on the other hand, am almost always early. This is especially annoying when I'm supposed to meet her somewhere. Inevitably, I'd show up 10 minutes early and get a phone call or message saying that she was "running late." Messages were especially annoying because she was wasting time writing the message when she could be getting her ass in gear.

Usually, it wasn't a big problem. I'd have to wait for awhile. No big. There was one time, though, where her lateness really and truly threatened my well-being.

I was waiting somewhere near a train station for my ever-tardy girlfriend when an older gentleman, probably in his sixties, approached me. This was not unusual. In that town, people were really friendly and helpful. I was used to strangers asking if I needed directions, or just taking the opportunity to use some English phrases. This guy fell into neither of those two scenarios. Instead, he walked up to me and said, in Japanese, "You have a pretty face."

In the second or two I was using to process that, he firmly grabbed my junk. I didn't take a second or two to process that. Instead, I jumped back and punched this guy harder than I have ever hit anyone or anything in my entire life, before or since. His head snapped to one side and he fell to the ground, his head smacking against the concrete with a sickening "thud." Then, he was completely motionless.

"Oh crap," I maybe said out-loud. "I killed him. I ****ing killed him. I ****ing killed this old guy."

Fortunately, and I mean REALLY fortunately, there was nobody around to see this. I wasn't just outside the station, after all. I was in a little alley near a parking garage. But, I still didn't want to be seen next to a potential corpse, nor did I want to be seen running away from one, as I do kind of stand out in a crowd, so I briskly walked back towards the station, where I told my then-girlfriend to meet me at a different location.

Let me spoil the surprise. The guy didn't die. There was nothing in the paper about a dead body found in an alley near a train station (and you'd better believe I checked), and I didn't receive a visit from the police (and you'd better believe I would have). So, apparently, the guy picked himself up, realized that he shouldn't molest certain people (or at least that certain person), and went about his day. Probably telling people that he'd slipped to explain the bruised jaw and bump on the head.

When I remember that incident, it's not the molestation or potential manslaughter that stand out. No. Instead, it was the conversation I had with my girlfriend after she'd finally arrived at the meeting place. I was super-pissed off when she got there. I mean, I really laid into her. "You idiot, you're always late! Why can't you EVER be on time! Everybody else in this country is on time, but you ALWAYS keep me waiting! What the **** is wrong with you?!"

Here's where I go all stereotypical gaijin-in-Japan. The Japanese people will apologize at the drop of a hat. It's pretty much drilled into them from the time they're able to speak. But my ex-girlfriend may have been the first person in Japan (or, frankly, anywhere) to have apologize because her lateness resulted in somebody's molestation and another person's possible death.

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 11:57 pm

Smooth hitting someone...?

Naaaah! Sorry mate, but I can't really see it.

Just seems utterly out of your style. Yer' the friendly lad with the foony hat, you wouldn't hurt a fly.

( yah yah, proof to the countrary and all that... )

Good to hear your job feels a bit more fulfilling now. ( well, at least I think it feels a bit better now?)

Personally, I would probably have preferred it when there was more down-time, yet good cash. I'd have put the whole time towards totally putting every fiber of my being into getting better at comic graphics design, character-design, writing and colouring. Or some crazy alchemy-style theoretic physics theories, natch.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 7:17 am

Predabot wrote:Smooth hitting someone...?

Naaaah! Sorry mate, but I can't really see it. Just seems utterly out of your style. Yer' the friendly lad with the foony hat, you wouldn't hurt a fly.

( yah yah, proof to the countrary and all that... )

I miss the hat. Here's a more recent pic:

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:35 pm

Now I don't know why you're not heisting casinos for money. Because that getup clearly says that you are.

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:49 pm

Thus smooth's unlikely high proportion of mafia friends became more understandable.

You look like Andy Garcia!

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:37 pm

Figured I'd share another "funny" story.

After an adjustment period, I really started to love teaching. So I put everything I had into it. There was nobody who put more into this job than I did. I sunk more time, effort, and money into teaching than anybody before or since.

While most conversation teachers work from 8:30 until 4:30, I'd usually get to work before 8 and not leave until six or seven. There were a few times where I'd leave, get a call asking if I could do something the next morning, realize I wouldn't have enough time to do it right, and then go back to the school to finish it up.

At this job, aside from the work in the classroom, you don't really HAVE to do anything. There are plenty of people who come to work, teach two or three classes, then either go home or just watch movies on a laptop until 4:30. I turned my workplace into what the principal dubbed "Kevin's Magic Desk."

I bought a laptop and loaded it up with anything that I thought could be useful to the kids or other teachers. This included (an older version of) Photoshop and a bunch of sound/video editing software, which some of the other teachers couldn't figure out (at first). I hooked up a drawing tablet, and a scanner/printer/photocopier as well. I topped it all off with my own laminator.

Pretty much anything that any teacher could think of could be turned into a lesson-ready prop in under 15 minutes.

For students who missed a lesson, I'd make a short (usually just 5 minutes) YouTube video so they could practice the new material at home.

Kids clean the entire school after lunch, every day. Every week or so, new students take over cleaning the teachers room. So, I started bringing it stuff to put on my desk that would get the kids to ask me about it. Popular items included the RotF Leader Optimus Prime (and Deluxe Bumblebee), a doll of Barack Obama, some Disney stuff, and full-scale replica WWE World Heavyweight Championship belt.

Beyond that, I had a reputation of working really well with some of the more difficult students. Students who hated English, studying, school, and/or teachers are, sadly, often given up on by their teachers. They'd all talk to me, though. Once we got to know each other.

Also, there was one incident that was, frankly, scary. I'd been feeling like crap for a few days, but didn't have any cold/flu symptoms, so I continued to go to work. One day, shortly after lunch, I found myself in severe discomfort and started pissing blood. Obviously, I figured I should see a doctor, but only had one more class before the end of the day. So I thought I'd tough it out.

I went to class and, after about 20 minutes, it felt like somebody was stabbing a knife into my side. Or, at least, that's what I imagine that would feel like. But, still, I finished the class. Somehow got back to the teachers room, and promptly collapsed on the floor. They had me taken to a hospital where I found out that I had a problem with one or both kidneys.

Fast forward a few months. All of the teachers at my company get reviewed by their schools. I was among the teachers who got an "average" review. Which was a major problem, because the company demands that its teachers get scores that are (at least) above average. Being melodramatic, I'll say that THAT felt like a knife stabbing me in the back.

You know that special effect where it looks like a character's entire world falls apart like a pane of broken glass? That's what I felt like.

I went into work the next day and talked to one of the English teachers. I apologized for my performance and asked what could be done better. She looked shocked and said that I was doing great. Everything was great. There were no problems at all. She was sincere. So, I asked about the review. The teacher thought for a minute, then said that another teacher had filled it out. I told her that she'd filled it out in a way that had gotten me some heat from the company and could, potentially, cost me my job.

I got an apology and went over to talk to the teacher who'd filled out the report. She agreed that I was doing a great job and nothing really needed to change. So, of course, I asked her why she'd marked all of my scores with "average." She explained that she hadn't really wanted to bother with the evaluation at all, so she just marked everything "average," and sent it back. I tried to make her understand that this was a big deal, if only to make sure it didn't happen again. She just kind of brushed me off and continued to insist that wasn't a big deal. She did not get it at all.

Now, a little background on this teacher. A few years ago, it was decided that she was not competent to be a teacher. So, the BOE took her out of school and put her in some kind of re-education program. This is supposed to be the hint that you're not wanted any longer, but rather than resign, she finished the program and came back to the school.

Her first year back as a homeroom teacher was a disaster. She was horrible with the kids and all of her students hated her. Some of them would openly assault her, both verbally and physically.

The next year, the principal decided that she wouldn't be a homeroom teacher again. Instead, she was ONLY to be the English grammar teacher.

That went poorly (for reasons that will come up later) and she got bumped down to being the assistant to a new English teacher. I don't think she ever caught on to the fact that this NEW English teacher was there to replace her.

THAT went poorly (for other reasons that'll come up later) and she got kicked out of the school entirely.

The "average" report was not a big deal to the teacher who'd filled it out. To the other teachers (and above), it was. They called my company, personally, and apologized for the mistake. Then, the principal read this teacher the riot act.

I'd later learn that the principal had yelled at the teacher that, "You do not give Kevin AVERAGE marks. Kevin is the best teacher we've EVER had here. He got himself hospitalized just so that he could finish teaching a lesson for one of YOUR classes! He came to work two hours after having surgery! He will get PERFECT marks! But not from you. You're not allowed to fill out any more evaluations. And ANYTHING you write about him will be shown to ME first."

I was touched, but this was a major disgrace for this teacher. And she did everything she could to make my time at work difficult from that moment on.

At first it was really minor stuff. She wouldn't say "hello" in the morning, for example. Then it got a little more obvious. She'd close the door in my face if I was walking behind her to the teachers' room. Then, it got genuinely bad. She'd schedule me for three classes in a day, then, right before the class started, she'd cancel it. That way, none of the other English teachers would have the chance to schedule me for their classes. She knew that I loved being in the classroom, and she started doing this deliberately to keep me from being able to do it. Even though doing so took away the opportunity to practice from hundreds of students.

One day, it all came to a head. She scheduled me for a class and DIDN'T cancel it. When I got to the room, she said we were playing a version of English Battleship (Instead of A,B,C,D,etc there is the first part of a sentence. Instead of 1,2,3,4,etc, there is the second part of a sentence).

Usually, this game is played with pairs of students. But she changed the rules of this game. It was all of the students on one side, me on the other. Kind of a strange change, but I could see the logic. All of the students could hear the proper pronunciation and they wouldn't have the temptation to just stop playing the game and start chatting with each other. One question remained, though. "Uh, when does the game end?" I asked.

"It ends when your ships are all gone."

After the class, I thanked the teacher for letting me come to her class again. But, there was something I just couldn't let go of, and had to get it out.

"Uh, I'm probably just being silly, but I have to ask. This game was dozens of Japanese trying to destroy a bunch of American boats. The relation to the Pearl Harbor attack... That wasn't intentional... was it?"

I don't know what I expected her to say. Maybe a quick denial. Maybe a "oh, I didn't even think of that. Sorry." What I didn't expect was for her to get extremely flustered and say that she "didn't want to fight about this." The way she said it made it VERY clear that it wasn't an accident.

I went back to the teachers room literally shaking with rage. I went to my desk, grabbed my bag, and pulled out my cell phone. I called my company rep, said I was "sick" and would be leaving immediately. Then I walked up to the principal, thanked him for everything over the past year, and walked out.

I didn't get very far (not even to the front gate) before one of the teachers came after me. I explained the situation as honestly as I could. If I stayed in that school, I was going to do something to that teacher and then I'd wind up in a lot of trouble. I loved the school, the kids, and the teachers with all my heart, but I couldn't stay there. Even with all that said, she convinced me to go back in and talk with the principal.

I was too frazzled to speak much Japanese, so the head teacher was kind of a go-between for us. The "deal" I got (as it was to be kept secret from my company) was that I would not have to work with that teacher again. I didn't even have to be civil to her. About a week later, rumors started flying around that she was being given the boot at the end of the term (a few months later). It was too late for me, though, since I was scheduled to transfer to a new school, anyway.

The last incident between us came shortly before the end of the term. The teacher tried to shut the teachers' room door in my face yet again, but this time wound up closing the door on me. And I completely and regrettably lost it.

I pinned her in a corner and went to town on her. "You bitch! You shriveled old bitch. Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can treat me like this? You're wrong. You are DEAD wrong! One more time. You hear me? One more time, and I will ****ing END YOU. I'm not ****ing around anymore! Kuso baba! Nani teme? Mo ikkai! Mo ikkai, teme! Shinitai ka? WAKATA?"

The rest of the teachers graciously pretended not to see anything. Shortly afterwards, both of us left the school.

It may be sick, but after all that woman did to me, I'm not ready to forget about it. I've kept tabs on her. I know where she lives. I know where she's working now. And I know where she can be found on almost any given day. Sometimes, I try to convince myself that I was just joking around when I made it a point to get all that info. But, honestly, joking with who?

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 6:24 pm

(Makes mental note never to cross Kevin)

Jeezus. Academic politics are a biiiiitch.

Why do so many awful people fly under the radar as teachers? The sad part is that almost everyone I know has a story like that.

I love teaching too. I try to grab extra time to come up with additional resources for my students and create new PowerPoints/videos and whatever. My mentor in grad school actually warned me at one point. Said that she destroyed her health and her marriage trying to make sure she got tenure. At this point, I'm a little more careful when I stress out over teaching. It helps to have kids, I guess, and keep the perspective that other people depend on my presence other than my students.

Post by **Kaylee** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:36 pm

I've just remembered who your photo reminds me of:

Doesn't sound like you're going to leave teaching anytime soon though, you obviously love it too much

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:20 pm

Karl wrote:I've just remembered who your photo reminds me of:

That's a really weird coincidence. Yesterday, my 6th grade students had a lesson about colors. So, I thought I'd have some fun with them and actually went to work dressed like Lupin. After the lesson, I could use the colorful getup to ask, "What color's my jacket/tie/shirt/etc." Worked like a charm.

Post by **Kaylee** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:38 pm

How lovely

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:23 am

So a little back-story on the hospital visit I mentioned above.

After I collapsed in the teachers' room, they called an ambulance for me. This was nearly three years ago, and my Japanese was...not great. In fact, if it weren't for this incident, I don't think my Japanese would ever even gotten to "poor."

One of the Japanese (language) teachers, understanding that I might need some help, offered to go with me to the hospital. She and I didn't spend much time together at work. However, I was helping her study English so she could pass a Tour Guide Certification course.

At the hospital, thanks to time (and a painkiller called Rokkisonnin), the pain went away and I was discharged. The doctor told me that it was probably just a kidney stone. Which was a relief, since a different doctor had given me a much worse prognosis earlier.

It was such a nice gesture on that teacher's part. I couldn't get over it. I was touched. On my way home from the hospital, I stopped at an upscale liquor store and asked for the most expensive bottle of that teacher's favorite liquor (a sweet potato shouchu called Mori Iizou) and had it wrapped up for her.

I gave it to her the next day, but she didn't open it until she got home. The next day, she said that she was shocked when she opened the box. "I knew it had to be shouchu, but that was... Where did you even... Thank you! But, it's so expensive..."

I told her, completely straight out, that I was really scared and thought that I was going to die. And I was so happy that she helped me. And, really, that was the only way I could show how much I appreciated the gesture.

Shortly after that, she passed her certification exam. To thank me, she gave me a small card that just said, "Your help is always appreciated." Which I still have in a little box of mementos.

When I started (seriously) studying Japanese, she helped me study for the certification exam. I'm not sure how many of you have tried to learn a foreign language from books and tapes, but it's not easy (at best) and painfully frustrating (at worst). Every day, she helped me with all the points that would be covered on the test.

When the time came to take the test, it was difficult, but at least I could understand the questions (the entire thing, top to bottom, is in Japanese, including all instructions). I figured I had maybe a 50/50 shot of having passed. But I wouldn't get the results back for a few months.

The next day, at work, I gave her a very similar small card. It said, "I don't know if I passed or not, but if it weren't for you, it wouldn't even be in question. Thank you."

We were both transfered to different schools at the end of the year, but still keep in touch. I got her hooked on LOST (and started giving her CD-Rs of the episodes the day after they aired in the US) and she got me hooked on Haruki Murakami's books.

There are some times when I feel like that guy in Sandman, Hob Gadlilng. The dude who makes a deal with Dream to never die. Dream and Hob only meet up once a century. Sometimes, the Hob's life is going great. He's rich and influential. Sometimes he's penniless and hasn't eaten for months, but still can't die. When Dream offers to let him out of the deal, even at his lowest point, Hob declines. There are a lot of bad times, but they'll only make the good times better when and if they come around again.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Fri Oct 29, 2010 10:23 am

One of the guys I knew back in Kitakyushu is in a similar position I was in a few months. Ago, one of the teachers at his school is asking for a new teacher for vague reasons. One of which is, apparently that "he doesn't have an American accent." I should mention, he's British. But he may be out of a job in the near future.

I've offered to switch places with him. It gets me back to Kitakyushu while giving him a job that he'll probably enjoy more. But I doubt that'll happen.

I honestly don't think that these "people" come even close to understanding that we are people who came to this country to help teach students a useful skill that the Japanese have proven (over decades) to be completely incompetent at. We are not just temps. We can not just be easily changed or moved around. We work at multiple schools. The schools who like us will be VERY UPSET if good teachers get pulled out of THEIR schools just because one guy at one other school is fickle!

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sun Nov 07, 2010 10:17 am

I found out a few days ago that for the next two Mondays, I'm going to be teaching at a school on a tiny island off of Hiroshima. The commute, as you can imagine, is not pleasant. 3 trains and a boat. But when I asked for more info on the school...oh, man.

It's a welfare school for mentally and physically handicapped kids, as well as orphans. Many of whom "violently distrust adults" because of what's happened to them.

"How am I, in any way, shape, or form equipped to handle this?" I asked somebody from my company.

"Well, you're good with problem students."

"You do realize that there are different categories of "problem" students, right?" I asked.

*blanks stare* "Children that are difficult to teach. You've had a bunch of them before. They like you."

"There is a huge difference between the, "I'm not behaving exactly as expected," and "my parents abandoned me to be raised by strangers on a tiny little island." I suggested.

"What's the difference?"

"I hate you. I hate your country. I hate the attitude shown towards education." I mumbled.

"Pardon?"

"I'll give it my all. Leave it to me."

Urgh. And that wasn't even the worst thing to come out of that day. Urgh.

Post by **Kaylee** » Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:32 am

I've got to ask Kevin...

Given that, from all accounts:

You really work well with your students
You like teaching
You have excellent Japanese skills and have worked hard to improve further
You want to continue helping the students to achieve
You are very capable at getting them to achieve

Why are you still working as a supply teacher? Essentially brought in to a place for a rolling contract for a variety of reasons and then sent on somewhere else at the whim of employers and clients.

I understand that's how the English Language Schools work, but it sounds like you're way beyond that whole 'backpacking gap year' level of teaching now: surely you must be more than qualified to work as a formal English teacher in a formal school setting (e g High School) with a permanent contract?

It's my understanding that English doesn't feature particularly highly on the formal Japanese curriculum, hence the industry for English Schools and poorly treated English Language Tutors, but you seem more than capable of breaking in to that and making a bigger career out of it.

That way you would have a far less nebulous contract and you could, in theory, join teaching unions (if you haven't already). No more moving about, no more having to deal with client's whims. You'd actually have some rights in the organisation you work in.

You'd also then have the ability to climb the ladder (potentially. I appreciate to win out over competing Japanese, as a foreigner you would have to work twice as hard as them for promotion) and start earning pension rights (again, potentially).

Alternatively I might be talking absolute horse **** so feel free to ignore it. That's cool too.