Yeah, another one of those topics...

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:28 am

Here's a theory I've been tossing around for a few years that's somewhat applicable in this topic:

Intelligence, or conciousness, or whatever you want to call what it is that seperates men from animals (ie "I am" and "One day, I will die), is an evolutionary experiment gone horribly wrong. A mistake, a mutation in the evolutionary process that's completly screwed up the entire biosphere.

Post by **Best First** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:39 am

thats just a long way of saying humns sucj isn't it?

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:51 pm

Shanti418 wrote:At the risk of going off subject, I'd just like to make an impassioned plea to sprunkner to stop using meth, because it's severely interfering with his ability to taste food. Thank you. *waits for Covenant backup to arrive with guns blazin'*

Yer nuts sprunkner! Must be all that aformentioned meth plus the salt in the sea water affecting your taste buds.

Kup_1 wrote:
Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:so how are dinos explained then, or are they just conviently ignored.

Ignored, I guess.

But, when the Bible was being written, man had no idea what fossils were, so they couldn't write about them.

And even if they had found some, they probably didnt have the science to explain what they were.

Of course they had the science! Lookie...

Man1: Hey Mechalothulus, look at this rock!
Man2: Don't change the subject Remiphoa, I saw what you did to that sheep.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:59 pm

Señior's Covenant wrote:
Kup_1 wrote:
Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:so how are dinos explained then, or are they just conviently ignored.

Ignored, I guess.

But, when the Bible was being written, man had no idea what fossils were, so they couldn't write about them.

And even if they had found some, they probably didnt have the science to explain what they were.
Of course they had the science! Lookie...

Man1: Hey Mechalothulus, look at this rock!
Man2: Don't change the subject Remiphoa, I saw what you did to that sheep.

Well by the 17th and 18th Centuries fossils were supposed to be the remains of animals that died in the great flood...there were also a number of theories that God created creatures made of rock at one stage as well. See The Lying Stones of Marrakesh by Stephen Jay Gould for more information...

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:00 pm

By then sure, I was talking more along biblical times. Eh, it was humor, what do I care.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:01 pm

but lets say he did create dino's

he lets them roam the earth for 600 million years, then they all die.

then he think,

"hey these dinos dont worship/lick my bum enough, ill make some humans instead!"

the idea god needed some worhip just sounds stupid. hence why i belive in evolution.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:08 pm

Another one of AiG's things. The, as they say, "ideas of millions or billions of years" is part of what they call "the evolutionary lie". For them, like most diehard Creationists, the Earth and all there is are only (I think I got this range right) between 6,000 & 10,000 years old. Which is why dinos were created with all the other animals in the beginning... ....then their baby-pairs taken aboard the Ark for survival through the flood... ...only to be killed off later by atmospheric changes?

My huge problem with the Creationist' view of the past is it doesn't allow for the Dinobots and Beast Wars.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:56 pm

Hence one of my favourite Get Your War On quotes, where they say "Well, who cares if we **** up the planet, it's only like 600 years old, right?"

Forests don't turn to oil in a few thousand years. Bones don't turn to rock in a few thousand years.

Man, I just find it really frustrating that we live in an age where knowledge is as easy to obtain as water, yet people would rather live inside their own heads believing in human inventions like nations or economies or gods instead of looking at the world around us and trying to learn from that. People really do suck, people are stupid, and people who trust faith over evidence are the suckiest, stupidest people of all.

Like Impy said, one button to destroy all the religious people on earth? I'd press it so many times it would probably jam and get stuck.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:00 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:I'd press it so many times it would probably jam and get stuck.

...like Maddox' Delete key.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:02 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Like Impy said, one button to destroy all the religious people on earth? I'd press it so many times it would probably jam and get stuck.

Hold down shift = toggle "sticky keys" on/off?

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:13 pm

Brendocon wrote:Hold down shift = toggle "sticky keys" on/off?

I can make sticky keys myself, thanks

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 3:53 am

Metal Vendetta wrote:
Brendocon wrote:Hold down shift = toggle "sticky keys" on/off?
I can make sticky keys myself, thanks

Maybe so, but....

never mind, too easy.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 4:22 am

i am the new messiah

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:46 pm

Kup_1 wrote:
Shanti418 wrote:At the risk of going off subject, I'd just like to make an impassioned plea to sprunkner to stop using meth, because it's severely interfering with his ability to taste food. Thank you. *waits for Covenant backup to arrive with guns blazin'*

hehehehe.....

From the people who brought you the Chicken Fried Steak: Mexican Food!!!!

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:54 pm

OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

Get Involved!

The addresses, phone, fax, and emails for the Kansas School Board can be found here. Contact them, and ask that they respond to my letter.

I am hearing reports that some of the members are using email auto-responders. I suggest faxing them. Faxes are harder to ignore.

Contact the media, tell them you support Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. They can't ignore us forever.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:58 pm

For thosse who are intrested in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Or those who have been been touched by his noodley appendage and would now like to join please visit.
http://www.venganza.org/

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:27 am

Metal Vendetta wrote:One button to destroy all the religious people on earth? I'd press it so many times it would probably get stuck.

I can make sticky keys myself, thanks

Let's see... religion bashing, veiled reference to whacking off... where's the homosexuality debate?

Come on people. Don't shortchange the Transfans we all know and love.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 5:45 am

I now belive in the FSM

I love this: http://wwfsmd.ytmnd.com/

Post by **Kaylee** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 8:07 am

The FSM is awesome! I've got to get some of those t-shirts!!!

KingMob · Post by **KingMob** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 9:52 am

That's a fantastic site/project/holy mission, cheers.

RAmen.

Kup_1 · Post by **Kup_1** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:12 am

bumblemusprime wrote:For thosse who are intrested in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Or those who have been been touched by his noodley appendage and would now like to join please visit.
http://www.venganza.org/

His...noodly.....appendage....??

Some things are better left unsaid, methinks!

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:35 am

KingMob wrote: RAmen.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 10:18 am

sprunkner wrote:Let's see... religion bashing, veiled reference to whacking off... where's the homosexuality debate?

They're all whacking off while bashing religion, I'm afraid. Or is it the other way round?

Absolutely love the FSM site. Somewhere on page 3 of the interesting emails someone has proposed a similar theory based on a "Megaheaded Space Monkey"...perhaps similar to Transfans's own Giant Space Monkey? However I think I am now a convert to Pastafarianism and yes, I've been touched by His Noodly Appendage. All hail the FSM!

We should send that site to AiG and see what they have to say about it...

Post by **Best First** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 10:54 am

"This mug holds coffee AND pisses off Jesus."

shazbot.

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 1:55 pm

www.veganza.com wrote:
5. You are making God angry.

I doubt it. If there's a god, and he's intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor. And how do you know He is NOT a Flying Spaghetti Monster?

He made Canada and the platypus, didn't he?

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 1:56 pm

Shanti418 wrote:
KingMob wrote: RAmen.

Seconded.

sprunkner wrote:
Kup_1 wrote:
Shanti418 wrote:At the risk of going off subject, I'd just like to make an impassioned plea to sprunkner to stop using meth, because it's severely interfering with his ability to taste food. Thank you. *waits for Covenant backup to arrive with guns blazin'*

hehehehe.....
From the people who brought you the Chicken Fried Steak: Mexican Food!!!!

Mexicans invented Chicken Fried Steak? Who knew.

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 2:18 pm

Discussions over, Senior and Shanti.... I just prayed to the FSM and he told me California has better Mexi.

If you doubt His noodly word, I'll burn you.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 2:32 pm

Oh yeah, take advice about some Mexican food from a hurtling Italian dish.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:36 pm

Speaking of, I just had a friend return from about 5 weeks in Guadalajara and Juarez, and he said that Mexicans LOVE LOVE LOVE eating spaghetti.

And I thought most of them were Catholic. lol

Scraplet · Post by **Scraplet** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 11:00 pm

For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

Oh my god (of holy pasta) just I had to scrape myself off the floor. That is fantastic.........

BTW, I don't like Mexican food

.......just thought I let you know

(that was a Public Information statement from Scraplet)