Worst Film Ever?

Darth Aux · Post by **Darth Aux** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:55 pm

Simple

JAWS The Revenge

The shark frickin' roars!!

Oh yeah and it beats an aeroplane from New York to Jamaica (No she wanted to, sorry I picked that joke up when I was about 11 and it's stuck with me for a further 18 years.)
Any way the shark gets there just as fast, HOW????? Don't even get me started on how the shark knows where Mrs Brodey is going. Oh yeah and the worst Jaws death ever

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:38 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:Preds: picking the film at the bottom of the imdb list isn't really the point.

I didn't. I specifically searched for Raiders of the Living dead. I saw it once for like 10 years ago, at laaate night, (age 11) and the theme-song just automatically catched my mind! "Raiiders of the liviiing deead!!"

That, and that laser that the kid in it invents. At the time I was too young to see or think about the fact that the "laser cd-player" he takes appart to make it, is in fact a VHS-player...

I think I'm probably the only one in the whole world who likes this movie. With that said, I've only seen like 20 minutes of it, but heck is it naff!

It's the Edd Wood syndrome.

I'm absolutely certain I would hate it if I saw all of it tho. hehe.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:17 pm

I'll let you off then. And 1.6 is an impressively low score.

Jaws The Revenge is horrible. Horrible in the way Superman IV was horrible, because they both belatedly shat on their originals and killed them dead.

IronHide · Post by **IronHide** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:22 pm

House of the Dead
Driven
Grind
Dumb and Dumberer

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:36 pm

Autobloke wrote:Ah, it's a 'bald' thing.
Which is no 'bad' thing.
Has Patrick Stewart ever done a pump movie? And I don't mean that as porno slang.

yup hes 'gurney' in Dune - **** hot film.

My film guru status rawks

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:49 am

Did any of you guys remember this old crappy animated movie from the 80s? It had some stupid gimmick, like transforming robots battling a giant transforming planet or something. Man, it SUCKED!!!

KingMob · Post by **KingMob** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:53 am

Dune rocks. And so does Flash Gordon. Dino de Laurentis, king of the great crap movies.

The proper worst film I've ever seen is probably a low-budget British vampire flick of the kind that MJ Simpson jeffs all over, the name of which I can't remember. It was just...crap in every way.

But the film I dislike the most is Highlander II.
Leaving aside the query of whether a sequel to a film whose story revolved around "deir kan bee ownlee won" actually makes any sense, they somehow managed to completely screw up a film about almost-immortal sword-wielding badasses, two of whom happen to be Sean Connery and Michael freaking Ironside ffs.
By randomly sticking in evil corporations, a totally insane 'hey, we're all secretly aliens' backstory, many, many machine guns and ninja environmental terrorists. W.T.F.?

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:21 am

Damn, that film was desperate wasn't it? The planet Zeist comes out of nowhere.

I gather the Highlander films after it ignore it completely, but I've steered clear of them due to the scars.

There's a Highlander II special edition too, dunno if that patches it up a bit.

I'm not sure if the original Highlander flick is a classic anyway to be honest.

I've never sat through the whole of Dune. Must give it another a chance.

Flash Gordon's fun!

Driven.. meh, its so so.

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:18 am

Tired Tracks wrote:That Team America movie. I am really surprised I watched it to the end

Are you insane?

I have watched that movie at least ten times. I laugh my ass of everytime I see it. I dont love you anymore

The worst movie I've ever watched is Boa VS Python.
It's just pure crap.

Everything is awful. The acting, the effects, the plot, the script.
After ten minutes there's a girl taking the most erotic bath I've ever seen... in a jacuzzi on a friggin airplane.

The great plot is "A giant snake is on the loose - and it's killing people. How will we stop it? By releasing another giant snake..."

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:42 am

spidy go watch Dune now - that film is freaking ace!!

yeah Team America is funny

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:28 pm

I thought the south park movie was much better than TA personally, it was just funnier.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:39 pm

operation 'darkie' is cool
but "[composite word including 'f*ck'] my mouth" - is good aswell

Both films score highly in the hating of Alec Baldwin..

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:30 pm

Obfleur wrote:The worst movie I've ever watched is Boa VS Python.
It's just pure crap.

Everything is awful. The acting, the effects, the plot, the script.
After ten minutes there's a girl taking the most erotic bath I've ever seen... in a jacuzzi on a friggin airplane.

The great plot is "A giant snake is on the loose - and it's killing people. How will we stop it? By releasing another giant snake..."

Hey, I saw the DVD sitting up at Hollywood Video the other day. I, urm, *clears throat*, may have to, um, check this out to judge for myself?

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:36 pm

KingMob wrote:The proper worst film I've ever seen is probably a low-budget British vampire flick of the kind that MJ Simpson jeffs all over, the name of which I can't remember. It was just...crap in every way.

Razorblide Smile, by any chance?
On a related note, Pervirella was also crap.
As was Children of the Living Dead, which blew monkey balls. I took that back to the shop and got my money back, it was so dire.

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:15 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:spidy go watch Dune now - that film is freaking ace!!

oh, yes. It's pure bizarre from the mind of David Lynch! It's brilliant in the way that it may be the only sci-fi flick ever to confuse you at times, as utterly as 2001! I love it.

And the new version by Sci-FI channel from 200x is pretty good too.

I suppose it lacks a bit of that crazyness of the original Lynch adaption of the book, (weird, I haven't acctually read the book yet) but it makes up for it with a solid sorta love of the concept.

Metal Vendetta wrote:Pervirella was also crap.
As was Children of the Living Dead, which blew monkey balls. I took that back to the shop and got my money back, it was so dire.

Dude, you get your a$$ onto the dc++ or the torrent of choice, and seek out Raiders, then you can get back here and say that you've seen the worst zombie-movie ever!

You'll of course chase me around with a steak-knife for recommending it to you, but it's a risk worth taking.

Legion · Post by **Legion** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:37 pm

Predabot wrote:
Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:spidy go watch Dune now - that film is freaking ace!!
oh, yes. It's pure bizarre from the mind of David Lynch! It's brilliant in the way that it may be the only sci-fi flick ever to confuse you at times, as utterly as 2001! I love it.

And the new version by Sci-FI channel from 200x is pretty good too. I suppose it lacks a bit of that crazyness of the original Lynch adaption of the book, (weird, I haven't acctually read the book yet) but it makes up for it with a solid sorta love of the concept.

The thing is, with the David Lynch movie is that they made up a load of stuff that wasn't in the book at all!! The new mini-series (and sequals) stick much more faithfully to the book.

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:36 pm

I wonder why no one has said Phantom Menace. If we go beyond just filmmaking to the feelings associated with it, that movie is for me the emotional equivalent of a horrible divorce. A divorce from someone who cheated with other men, other women, numerous animals, a house, and who chopped off most of my extremities.

(scuse the sig)

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:52 pm

I'll watch Phantom Menace despite it's hateful piece of **** Jar Jar and less than savory child star's craptasticness over any of the movies I mentioned any day.

Jetfire · Post by **Jetfire** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 6:56 pm

sprunkner wrote:I wonder why no one has said Phantom Menace. If we go beyond just filmmaking to the feelings associated with it, that movie is for me the emotional equivalent of a horrible divorce. A divorce from someone who cheated with other men, other women, numerous animals, a house, and who chopped off most of my extremities.

(scuse the sig)

because it's not that bad. It has good bits, redeming features and is better in retrospec if you watch Sith. Also when you first watched it it seemedgood.

People hate on the Phantom menance because it's big budget and Star Wars. There are many worse films. You can stick in Phantom menance and enjoy the fights, The lightsabre fights and the Pod race. The cenery is georgous too. They are a great many films with no decent features and absolutly nothing enjoyable about them.

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 7:07 pm

Jetfire wrote:
sprunkner wrote:I wonder why no one has said Phantom Menace. If we go beyond just filmmaking to the feelings associated with it, that movie is for me the emotional equivalent of a horrible divorce. A divorce from someone who cheated with other men, other women, numerous animals, a house, and who chopped off most of my extremities.

(scuse the sig)
because it's not that bad. It has good bits, redeming features and is better in retrospec if you watch Sith. Also when you first watched it it seemedgood.

People hate on the Phantom menance because it's big budget and Star Wars. There are many worse films. You can stick in Phantom menance and enjoy the fights, The lightsabre fights and the Pod race. The cenery is georgous too. They are a great many films with no decent features and absolutly nothing enjoyable about them.

TBH I can't watch TPM. I will purposely change channel if it comes on. There aren't many films I will do that with. I dislike it because its overly long, poorly acted and features Jar Jar Binks and that loathsome kid, rather than its star wars and big budget (o.O?).

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:35 pm

Phantom Menace is an average film in its own right, but more specifically, a bad Star Wars film.

Its crapness is inexcusable, sorry.

Can someone tell me why its good then? Not that some bits are good, but why the whole thing is good.

IronHide · Post by **IronHide** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:37 pm

Monkeybone
Closer
Secret Window
Cold Mountian

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:40 pm

IronHide wrote:Monkeybone

Whoa, **** on me how could I forget that painful thing. *Whew* Hurts me just thinking about it.

Haven't seen those other three.

IronHide · Post by **IronHide** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:45 pm

Scorpion King
Superstar
XXX
The Missing

KingMob · Post by **KingMob** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 7:26 am

Metal Vendetta wrote:Razorblide Smile, by any chance?

Actually, that does ring a bell. Yeah, I think it might well have been that. Jesus it was terrible, even for a low-budget film.

Original Highlander movie is okay. It was pretty neat when it came out, and is still enjoyable to watch. Highlander 3 is just a dumb action movie but not actually Highlander 2-level offensive. Highlander 4 is actually pretty good; it features the TV cast as well as Christopher Lambert.
I never really watched the TV show tho, so I'm not clear on how they got around the whole 'There Can Be Only One thing' being wrapped up in the first movie though...

Phantom Menace is pretty rubbish, sorry. Having a great swordfight in it does not make it a good film. However, I wouldn't consider it to be one of the worst films ever either.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 7:35 am

Maid In Manhattan. Graaaaah...!

My sister has a thing for movies like that, the "Cinderella/Princess" thing. Once in awhile they can be amusing, but I think in this case it was one too many saccharine-sweet escapist far-from-realistic chick flicks for my liking... I got bored/annoyed quickly.

Darth Aux wrote:Simple

JAWS The Revenge

The shark frickin' roars!!

it beats an aeroplane from New York to Jamaica

Don't even get me started on how the shark knows where Mrs Brodey is going.

...

This. Sounds. Awesome. In a "This film is absolute dog****" sort of way... hilarious.

I do not remember ever seeing this. And now, I am so, so renting it...!

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 7:56 am

KingMob wrote:
Phantom Menace is pretty rubbish, sorry. Having a great swordfight in it does not make it a good film. However, I wouldn't consider it to be one of the worst films ever either.

Exactly.

saysadie wrote: ...

This. Sounds. Awesome. In a "This film is absolute dog****" sort of way... hilarious.

I do not remember ever seeing this. And now, I am so, so renting it...!

Not sure if its in the 'so bad its good' category, more like the 'so bad its depressing' one! Might depend how much you liked the original tho.

Ozz · Post by **Ozz** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 8:10 am

KingMob wrote:I never really watched the TV show tho, so I'm not clear on how they got around the whole 'There Can Be Only One thing' being wrapped up in the first movie though...

From what I remember, they simply ignnored it, what with a new Immortal popping up every episode in this and probably in Highlander: Raven, too.

Connor appeared in the first episode, but he didn't give any explaination, it was like the first movie never happened.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 8:11 am

spiderfrommars wrote:
Not sure if its in the 'so bad its good' category, more like the 'so bad its depressing' one! Might depend how much you liked the original tho.

Yeah... The original was pretty ****** imo. In the "So bad it's good" way though.

Love movies like that...

On a tangent, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" is another bad film I absolutely adore. Absolutely awesome/stupid film.

Atheist Woman: "Hello Jesus. You don't know us because we've never talked to you before. We are the atheists."
Guy Atheist: "Look Jesus, we're taking your second coming ass down!"

"We're running low on skin. I suggest we harvest another lesbian."

[EDIT] I'd forgotten about this...

http://www.badmovies.org/multimedia/mov ... svamp1.mpg

"Time for some holy kung fu as Jesus faces off against the atheists. Notice how the Saviour throws his hands up in frustration when yet another group appears.

A reminder: all of these people are issuing from the same jeep."

I'd better convert or Jesus will kick my ass. I so need to find and buy this movie!

Darth Aux · Post by **Darth Aux** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:03 pm

saysadie wrote:Maid In Manhattan. Graaaaah...!

Darth Aux wrote:Simple

JAWS The Revenge

The shark frickin' roars!!

it beats an aeroplane from New York to Jamaica

Don't even get me started on how the shark knows where Mrs Brodey is going.
...

This. Sounds. Awesome. In a "This film is absolute dog****" sort of way... hilarious.

I do not remember ever seeing this. And now, I am so, so renting it...!

Nooo saydie, don't do it. Step away from the video store, I repeat step away from the video store.

Damn too late, I'm afraid Saydie is gonna be a jibbering wreck for the forseable future.

It is one of those films that is sooooo bad it's gone past that bit where bad films can be good and returned into the darkness of blah blah yadda yadda.

Oh go on watch it.

"Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" what an awesome name for a film. Now this I must see.