The 2007 Transformers Movie (Spoilers)

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:42 pm

I stared to think about this a bit more.

When the autobots arrive on earth, in thier protoforms, they all look the same size shape and mass.

So why does optimus decide to be a truck, jazz a sports car, ratchet a big trucky thing etc?

You know your gonna be fighting decepticons, why wouldnt u choose to be a big [composite word including 'f*ck'] off tank ? why did Jazz choose to be a tiny lil car, that fits in megatrons hand.

Just doesnt add up to me - oh, that and the fact they clear mass change and stuff.

Bay is a cock.

rusty_herring · Post by **rusty_herring** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:58 pm

http://www.the-editing-room.com/transformers.html

I like this guy's hilariously sarcastic movie reviews, this one had me laughing.

Post by **Kaylee** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:59 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:I stared to think about this a bit more.

When the autobots arrive on earth, in thier protoforms, they all look the same size shape and mass.

So why does optimus decide to be a truck, jazz a sports car, ratchet a big trucky thing etc?

You know your gonna be fighting decepticons, why wouldnt u choose to be a big **** off tank ? why did Jazz choose to be a tiny lil car, that fits in megatrons hand.

Just doesnt add up to me - oh, that and the fact they clear mass change and stuff.

Bay is a cock.

Well if they can pretty much morph into anything they fancy without any hassle (instead of having to be rebuilt to change alt mode) why don't they just turn into big cannons? or a huge machine gun? and then the enemy can morph into a bigger one and so on and so on.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:11 pm

yeah, the concept just doesnt work for me, and it gos against everything bay said he wasnt going to do, like soundwave etc...

Post by **Kaylee** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:16 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:yeah, the concept just doesnt work for me, and it gos against everything bay said he wasnt going to do, like soundwave etc...

I don't think its intended to be the sort of flick one thinks about too much

or at all... as rusty's link said just think "LOL BIG ******* ROBOTS!" and you won't go far wrong.

Legion · Post by **Legion** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:45 pm

Roflcopter! I’m in ur networx, haxx0ring ur filez!

rusty_herring · Post by **rusty_herring** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 6:03 pm

why did Jazz choose to be a tiny lil car, that fits in megatrons hand.

Size don't matter, baby

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:33 pm

Guardian's not impressed either.

http://film.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/C ... 37,00.html

I love these reviews that automatically dismiss it for being based on a toyline. Pirates of the Caribbean was based on a theme park ride FFS.

Key word in their review is resentment. I don't think the reviewer wanted to be there - only turning up because it was his job. As with most dumb action movies, you're gonna enjoy it about as much as you want to.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 6:13 pm

bludgeon2005 wrote:I1. Giant robots are coming! Quick lets lure them into a heavily populated area.

To be fair, that's not quite what happened.

- Communications are down. Nearest town is Mission City - they go there to try and find something to serve as a radio.

- Whilst there, air support arrives, so they bunker down, set off the flares and prepare to be rescued.

- But it's not air support. It's Starscream.

It's not like they made the decision to have their last stand in a civilian environment.

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:46 am

Brendocon wrote:
bludgeon2005 wrote:I1. Giant robots are coming! Quick lets lure them into a heavily populated area.
To be fair, that's not quite what happened.

- Communications are down. Nearest town is Mission City - they go there to try and find something to serve as a radio.

- Whilst there, air support arrives, so they bunker down, set off the flares and prepare to be rescued.

- But it's not air support. It's Starscream.

It's not like they made the decision to have their last stand in a civilian environment.

I thought the line went (more or less) "we need somewhere to hide the Allspark- let's hide it in the city!"?

Personally I think most of the reviews are spot on TBH. It is big, loud and very dumb. If you're in the mood for that kind of flick great, if you're not then it's not going to do much for you except give you a headache.

And Boomer's a cylon.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:32 am

Nah, they were after radios and Josh Duhamel said "Mission City's only 22 miles from here" to which the consensus was that they'd go there to get some radios so they could call for back-up.

Presumably had Starscream not turned up they'd have moved on out of the city.

But yeah, I find it hard to fault most of the reviews. It's the type of film you'll like as much as you want to. It's not the sort of thing most of the reviewers would choose to watch and I think they resented being there... as such it was never really going to win them over. As you say, it's all about mood going in.

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:37 am

Brendocon wrote:Nah, they were after radios and Josh Duhamel said "Mission City's only 22 miles from here" to which the consensus was that they'd go there to get some radios so they could call for back-up.

Presumably had Starscream not turned up they'd have moved on out of the city.

But yeah, I find it hard to fault most of the reviews. It's the type of film you'll like as much as you want to. It's not the sort of thing most of the reviewers would choose to watch and I think they resented being there... as such it was never really going to win them over. As you say, it's all about mood going in.

Ah that makes more sense then

I got the idea they wanted to go hide out there for a while. And have some lunch.

Maybe Prime was such a woose because he hadn't had his weetabix?

divebomb · Post by **divebomb** » Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:07 am

I only got to see the movie last saturday and I can honestly say it has been years since I enjoyed a movie as much as it. Not really any of the changes bugged me, I even enjoyed frenzy a lot more than I had expected.

The blend between real and cgi was so near flawless I sat gaping mouthed for a while before smiling for the next two hours like a possessed child!

Mass shifting etc who cares, in a film like this where all the robots seemed quite up for a fight what sense would it be to have soundwave turn up and sit around as a cassette/cd/mp3 player for half the movie? I looked at the allspark as if it was transforming as it was given over thus making it smaller, but alas who cares?

I really didn't think that I would enjoy this movie but I honestly can say it blew me away, acted very well, kept me entertained, the two+ hours skipped along, even my gf who I had to drag to see it loved it.

Megan fox was also a big hit much to my gf's annoyance, I'd done a bit of homework watching her on hope and faith on the trusty ole freeview box, definite hottie.

Bay, bring on 2!

edit: oh and by the way I thought megatron's design kicked ass and if you look closely at the cgi model there are plenty of different megs from over the ages that have made him up, also he was the first megatron that you could believe may have been a psycho and would beat the crap out of anything and everything.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:09 pm

divebomb wrote:even my gf who I had to drag to see it loved it.

Actually, this has been the biggest surprise of all. I have seen the movie with six women (not at once and not romantically), and they all loved it.

This movie has the girl vote, and I think that is why it is going beyond "hit" status, and bounding towards "Mega hit" status.

(i would say any movie that surpasses the $300 million domestic figure has to be considered a megahit, whereas $200 million just a plain hit)

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 1:47 am

Well yes, undoubtedly the film is a smash hit.

And my fave of the year so far.

Regarding the girl vote, when me and my mates went to see it all the girlfriends (not mine - I don't have one, boo) opted out. The fact that the film is doing so well considering a lot of people preconception's is pretty impressive.

As for the movie itself, I can honestly say it wouldn't be half the movie it is without Cullen, Shia, and dare I say it, Bay. Or with big transforming robots fighting of course.

The sheer scope of the action made me finally realise that their aren't many helmers that could deal with it all like Bay does. Cameron, I'll give you, but there aren't many others. Bay's best film, no doubt (tho thats not saying much).

And Shia really stole most of the movie. If they'd gone for a less quirky lead the film would have been a lot less fun. (Imagine Hartnett or Affleck instead. Yuck)

Making the human characters fun was secret to much of its success. The TFs were always going to be gradually introduced and it would have been cost prohibitive to have them onscreen for more than they were anyway.

Saying that, the US Army bozos were rather empty characters. Just seemed like US military PR to me.

The final scene was probably overlong, but I say that out of sympathy for non-fans.

Other good points:

Spot on comedy for the most part
Loved the Saving Private Ryan style camera work in some action scenes
Autobot convoys - looked great
Megan Fox - looked great
Starscream

Bad points:

Why no Transformers theme tune? Its not asking a lot. The melody has a majestic mournful quality to it I've always thought.
I know we were meant to feel sorry for BB at a couple of points, but it just felt like what it was: manipulative.
Non-fan mate asks me: "Why are all the Allspark TFs evil?"
Other Non-fan asks me: "Who's that?" "And who's that?" "And that?"
Medium-fan mate asks me: "Why doesn't a Decepticon just turn into a Trident submarine and start firing nukes?"
Bumblebee pissing on the dude. A gag too far.
Jazz really wasn't given enough personality for us to feel bad at his death.
Humans killing TFs - never a good thing.
Could Megs have done more?
Dropping Decepticons in the sea. Obviously short of ideas there.

And many other points which I could nitpick at.

Hearing Prime's motto and "One Shall stand etc." was nice tho.

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:08 am

TBH Megsy was spot on wasn't he? Spent his entire screen time screaming, making empty threats and then getting his ass kicked by the most improbable protagonists?

The only thing missing was him calling a 'retreat'

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:38 am

spiderfrommars wrote:Making the human characters fun was secret to much of its success. The TFs were always going to be gradually introduced and it would have been cost prohibitive to have them onscreen for more than they were anyway.

Yesyesyes. Obviously there's no point in making a live action movie where we follow a bunch of CGI characters nonstop... kinda defeats the purpose. Ish.

Saying that, the US Army bozos were rather empty characters. Just seemed like US military PR to me.

Thought Duhamel was ace, tbh. And loved the "we don't take orders from guys who don't exist" / "I'm gonna count to three" bits. Other than that, yeah. Pre'y much.

I know we were meant to feel sorry for BB at a couple of points, but it just felt like what it was: manipulative.

[...]

Bumblebee pissing on the dude. A gag too far.

BB in general I'm not too comfortable with... okay, the music snatches were gold. But can you imagine the only other character to bear the name urinating on somebody or doing a hip hop shuffle? Didn't feel right.

Ratchet, Ironhide and Jazz were mostly spot on imo (from what we saw), though Ironhide was stretching it slightly with the bloodlust.

Jazz really wasn't given enough personality for us to feel bad at his death.

His gangsta talk was just dumb. Okay, there's the whole "learnt from the internet" thing, but I can't help thinking that was thought up as justification to let them write him that way, rather than the other way round.

And you're not the only one who wasn't fussed by him dying:
http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20070801.html

Humans killing TFs - never a good thing.

I liked that, tbh. They gave them so much screentime that to have them helpless would render the arc pretty void. And it's only really Blackout that they killed on their own (ignoring Sam and the Allspark) - which serves as revenge. It is a Spielberg production, after all.

Definitely agree about the fave film of the year so far thing. After Pirates and Spidey, it was nice to walk out of a film with a smile on my face and a genuine desire to see it again. Only other films that have done that for me this year are Hot Fuzz and Die Hard 4.

divebomb · Post by **divebomb** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 11:16 am

its so cool shias in indy 4 because I really think we're looking at harrison fod mk 2 in him.

also a quickie bout the ole movie how much like star wars is it I only cottoned on last night watching it again!?!

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 11:21 am

Now that's something I've never got personally- TF:TM == Star Wars? Aside from very very broad archetypes, but if we're being that broadbrush then Private Ryan == Apocalypse Now? (Character sent on mission he doesn't want, goes into a hell created by human failure with a team of men who get picked off as the story goes on etc.).

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 11:26 am

I think it's mainly Unicron, Arcee's earmuffs and the US poster that do it.

Oh, and the scene in SW where Luke and Han go all demolition derby on the sharkticon pit whilst rawk music blares in the background.

[Quintessons = Jabba?]

divebomb · Post by **divebomb** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:22 pm

Brendocon wrote:I think it's mainly Unicron, Arcee's earmuffs and the US poster that do it.

Oh, and the scene in SW where Luke and Han go all demolition derby on the sharkticon pit whilst rawk music blares in the background.

[Quintessons = Jabba?]

jst little things really,

prime dying - obi wan

hot rod - luke

unicron - emperor

galvatron/megs - darth

magnus - llando

kup - han solo

grimlock - chewie

daniel - c3p0 (come on he couln't be r2 he's not cool enough!)

wheelie - ewoks

little things like I said. not wanting to start a big debate, but if you watch the film thinkng of star wars you might get some it!

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:24 pm

kup is han solo?

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:29 pm

I always assumed Kup to be a distillation of Obi Wan. Alongside Prime, naturally.

Springer's the closest there is to Han. And even that's remarkably tenuous.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:39 pm

but then SW copied that Seven Samuri film didnt they.

A fil which features some old master Samuri, who teachs a young apprentice.
They go on a journy to save a princess, with the the help of a rouge smuggler, and his mute sidekick.

Followed by a pair of comedy guys, one tall and thin, one fat and short

The main evil dude is in fact the young apprentices dad and everything.. brillant!

Aaron Hong · Post by **Aaron Hong** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 1:04 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:but then SW copied that Seven Samuri film didnt they.

A fil which features some old master Samuri, who teachs a young apprentice.
They go on a journy to save a princess, with the the help of a rouge smuggler, and his mute sidekick.

Followed by a pair of comedy guys, one tall and thin, one fat and short

The main evil dude is in fact the young apprentices dad and everything.. brillant!

You mean Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fort*ghaak*

*collapses*

divebomb · Post by **divebomb** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 1:27 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:kup is han solo?

I thought so, quick mouth, shares the adventure, gets frozen in carbonite, oops scratch the last one!

but he does have his arm and leg pulled off and rodders pops them back on, you see in the movie they had ball joints

Leatherneck · Post by **Leatherneck** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 2:58 am

Has anybody seen it in Imax? It came out [in the US, at least] like a week ago

man-with-the-dogs · Post by **man-with-the-dogs** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:25 am

My main complaints are:

1. Not enough focus on the bots' personalities.
2. Jazz gets killed by Megatron! Megatron?! Guy can't even kill Starscream!
3. Meghan Fox does not have any nude scenes.

Other than that it was decent. Good but not great.

Redstreak · Post by **Redstreak** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 10:03 pm

Brendocon wrote:Redstreak's wrong (whoa... deja vu...) - Tuturro was aces.

LOL, and that's why you're an idiot. (whoa, speaking of deja vu...)

I said he was "silly."

Silly isn't bad, Sally. The character was very silly. I don't think that can be denied.

Did I say Turturro wasn't good? No. Did I say that the character didn't work? No. Y'know why? Cuz he was and it did. I found the character hilarious. Sooooo sorry for not being more specific so as brain surgeons like you can understand what I say.

But then again, you read whatever you want to read, so who am I to contest it...you're just further proof as to why I abandoned you and those like you to your own devices.