Movie news.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:02 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:
Autobloke wrote:I certainly resent giving up an hour of the movie to have to listen to them whine and hump each other.
Might perk things up a bit.

I don't think they'd actually SHOW the 'humping' bit. I meant that if Spike has a girlfriend, you just know he will also have wimmin trouble - at least until the convienient resolution at the end (as always happens - when he saves the day. GRR!).

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 5:27 pm

http://filmforce.ign.com/transformers/a ... 060p1.html

Hound · Post by **Hound** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 7:02 pm

Not liking that update Impy linked to.

I dont want lots of humans in the film. I dont want to wait an hour before things start making sense and I see a Transformer properly.

I remain cautious.

jboyler · Post by **jboyler** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:33 am

This is exactly the kind of problem that sinks most big movies. Too many fingers in the pot.

This is all starting to remind me of the new 'Planet of the Apes.' That was supposed to be a big sci-fi-action-blockbuster thing that turned out to be totally discombobulated. If you watch the movie you can actually see the seams where each writer is trying to squeeze in his own concept, regardless of whether it meshes with the rest of the movie.

I think that this is all just SOP for the entertainment industry in general. The kind of stories Transfans want to see conflict with the kind of stories Hollywood is used to telling, and Lord knows innovation is lethal poison to producers.

Legion · Post by **Legion** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:41 am

i have a bad feeling about this

Post by **Kaylee** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 10:10 am

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

Starring John Goodman as Optimus Prime
Alan Rickman as Megatron
Mr. T as Unicron
Snoop Dogg as Jazz
Orlando Bloom as Bumblebee
Chuck Norris as Starscream
Keanu Reaves as Chuck Norris
Hulk Hogan as Primus
Trotsky as Evil Englishman 1
Gordon Ramsey as token black human character (who probably gets killed towards the end, so Spike can yell 'NOOOOO!' before saving the Universe from the Monster Minds...)
Me as Julian Clary as Pitt the Elder as Token Gay Guy in scene 21A
George Foreman as Frodo
Produced by Don Murphy
Based on an idea by Don Murphy's accountant
Written by Alan Bennett (with Impy's biro)
Directed by Paul and Barry Chuckle
Special effects by Dylan's local postman

Coming summer 2006 to screens!
Comng Autumn 2006 to your local bargain bin!
Coming to ITV3 Christmas 2006 at 4AM in the morning!
Coming to TV's Crappiest Concept Movies 12 (Presented by Dennis Norden) January 2007.

Booya! The future's bright.

Bouncelot · Post by **Bouncelot** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:08 am

They really do seem to be heading down the road to failure here, don't they? If you're gonna do a film whose main selling point is nostalgia, then you need to get the details right and not change anything unless you have a good reason. If you're gonna just use the concept of Transformers to tell a sci-fi story, then the kind of pandering to fans they appear to be trying to do with that message board is utterly irrelevant. Do these guys have the faintest idea what they're doing? If so, then they're hiding it well.

Post by **Kaylee** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:12 am

They are lacking a Peter Jackson-like director/writer/producer- someone who has a clear idea and understanding of what it should be and a vision for how it should all turn out. This is a film based on ticking check-boxes proposed by the various bodies who have an interest in it. bah.

Scraplet · Post by **Scraplet** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:06 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:They are lacking a Peter Jackson-like director/writer/producer- someone who has a clear idea and understanding of what it should be and a vision for how it should all turn out. This is a film based on ticking check-boxes proposed by the various bodies who have an interest in it. bah.

I'm afraid to say it, cos I was hoping things would pan out better, but I agree with Karl on all above points (Chuck Norris as Starscream

) - its not looking good.

What suprises me is that the one thing that hasn't happened is what everyone originally feared - that Hasbro would wade in with designs for the new toy-line and insist that everyone take note of their requirements. Instead they seem to have shrugged their shoulders and are only bothered that they get the designs in time to get them in the shops.

At least it'll probably look good......even if Ratchet is a Sherman tank and Bumblebee a Fiat Punto

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:11 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:Alan Rickman as Megatron

That could possibly be the greatest piece of casting ever.

Though surely Starscream would be best played by Tim Curry?

Legion · Post by **Legion** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:27 pm

Brendocon wrote:Though surely Starscream would be best played by Tim Curry?

Heheh...

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:08 pm

Just heard some more on the new TF movie script.

In the main story, Optimus Prime and Megatron come to Earth to locate the 'precious' Matrix and use 'advanced' make-up techniques to disguise themselves as white women (this idea may have been done better in another recent film).
They then set off to look for their car (possibly an Autobot in disguise also) and have a wild sex comedy adventure as they discover other people/aliens are searching for the Matrix as well (which is a silver sphere that fires a powerful laser at giant women's knickers). The Matrix is in the possesion of Keanu Reeves, who will only give it up to a superior actor. Eventually a brick beats him in the competition and someone accidentally drinks some semen at a party.
As Prime and Megatron start to give up hope of succeeding in their mission, Hollywood comes to the rescue and the end of the movie is completely rewritten so that nobody dies and we all learn a valuable moral lesson about... something.
The credits will also contain an experimental strobe effect that is designed to make you want to see the movie again regardless of how much you hate it. Either that or give you an epileptic fit and kill you.

This draft of the script is yet to be confirmed but it sounds extremely likely considering all the other versions I've read about.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:12 pm

Do they steal an orangutan at any point?

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:16 pm

Brendocon wrote:Do they steal an orangutan at any point?

Damn! I KNEW I missed referencing something.