Thought I'd have a go at your list as well.
Professor Smooth wrote:What does your God do all day?
Well, He doesn't exactly exist within the bounds of time, but He does make sure that each day actually happens.
Where does he live?
The nearest He has to a home is heaven, a spiritual (i.e. not physical) place where He is more present than other places.
Where did he come from?
Infinite beings don't have to have a beginning or origin.
Since people seem to be fond of calling it a "he," does he have a penis? Is it a huge penis? What does he do with said penis?
God is a person, so using "it" is totally wrong. It's traditional to use "he" rather than "she", and like Yaya I prefer to use the capitalised "He" to distinguish God from humans both as a mark of respect and as probably the best compromise available in English between impersonal pronouns and gendered pronouns.
Where does the Holy Spirit come into this?
The Holy Spirit is God, but is also distinct from God. Look up the doctrine of the Trinity sometime if you want it more formally.
What are the function of angels?
Well the Bible shows them doing two things. Firstly worshipping God and secondly acting as occasional messengers from God.
If God's all powerful, why does he need helpers?
He doesn't need them, but that doesn't mean that He can't decide to work through helpers if He wants to.
For that matter, if God's all powerful, why did it take him seven days to create the world?
It didn't. It only took six.
The Bible uses the six days of creation, one day of rest as a reason for the sabbath - ensuring that humans take a day of rest within the week, so that's probably the reason for it.
Since humans are different from angels in that they hae free will, does that mean that Lucifer wasn't free to do what he did and was, in a very real sense, set up by God?
What makes you think that angels don't have free will to some degree?
What does God look like?
The only time He ever had a physical body, He looked like a Jewish man called Yeshua.
Jesus died for our sins, or so I'm told. How does a guy dying on a cross after being brutally tortured save us from Hell?
Jesus took the things that we deserve when we get to Hell so that we wouldn't have to. The punishment we deserve was deflected onto Him.
Didn't God create this hell in the first place?
Yes, kind of. Hell is a place where the defining feature is separation from God.
If God's all powerful, why did he need a mortal being to save us from the hell that he created?
Firstly, Jesus
was God. Secondly, dying was part of the punishment Jesus had to take as part of it.
If God is all powerful, why can he not speak to humans directly?
He can and does. But only when He wants to.
Why does he need the angel Metatron?
Who?
If God prizes free will above all, why is it that when humans excercised it in ways that displeased him, he killed all but one family in a flood?
That assumes that God
does prize free will above all.
God created Adam and Eve (leaving out the Lilith thing); they had two sons, one of whom killed the other. Where did future generations of people come from?
That's not what the Bible says. The Bible says that Adam and Eve had lots of sons and daughters, three of whom are named.
The reason given in the bible for having different languages is the tower of babel displeased God so he made it impossible for people to speak to one another. The Tower of Babel was built to reach the heavens. We know, for a fact, that the tallest building conceived by forward thinking architects utilizing advanced polymers and aerodynamic materials will not reach to "heaven." What did God have to fear?
Ever hear of a metaphor? The tower is generally thought (by those who take the passage literally) to have been a temple-ziggurat rather than a skyscraper.
If God created all people, did he not, in fact, create both the sets of "Adam and Eve" as well as "Adam and Steve?"
Not necessarily. Homosexuality could plausibly be a later corruption of the original design for humans rather than part of it.