Return of the Bay (It is. Come on. Oh my god)

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:00 am

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/1244458 ... cting.html

PUMP UP THE WORLD

Post by **Best First** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:18 pm

It’s going to be a reboot of sorts, too, kicking off a new Transformers story arc. We’ve heard nothing, though, about the rumours floating around a few months ago that Jason Statham was being sought to feature in Transformers 4.

Producer: Watch this. A.W.E.S.O.M-O, given the current trends of the movie going public, can you come up with an idea for a movie that will break $100 million box office?
Cartman: [as A.W.E.S.O.M.-O] Um... Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler is like in love with some girl. But it turns out that the girl is actuallya golden retreiever or something.
Mitch: Oh! Perfect!
Executive: We'll call it "Puppy Love".
Mitch: Give us another movie idea, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
Cartman: Um... How about this: Adam Sandler inherits like, a billion dollars, but first he has to become a boxer or something.
Mitch: "Punch Drunk Billionaire".

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:04 pm

I bet it'll be Jason Statham Vs Unicron.

Actually, I only really have one suggestion for Mr Bay. Don't feel the need to make the movie so damn long.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:27 pm

Transformers IV: This Time, It's IV Hours Long

Hot Shot · Post by **Hot Shot** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:27 pm

I had an absolute rage fit when I heard the news. Now I'm so goddamned depressed I feel like going back to bed.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:50 pm

I can't decide which is worse, 2 or 3. DOTM has the truly atrocious Rosie Huntington-Whiteley but on the plus side it hasn't got any dick jokes. Both go on forever.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:17 pm

Hot Shot wrote:I had an absolute rage fit when I heard the news. Now I'm so goddamned depressed I feel like going back to bed.

QFT.

It's the promise of a Transformers reboot combined with the "My God, haven't the children suffered enough-stab my eyeballs with a spork" sheer and utter horror of Bay directing it again. It's like making a fresh start and then decorating it with garbage and vomit.

Post by **Kaylee** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:01 am

Boo-urns.

Now I have to torrent another one just so I can get incredibly angry at it.

Think of the time I'll waste! This is disastrous! If my powers could only be used for good...

...or identified.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:08 pm

... you could just not watch it? Like I do with the IDW comics (except that's reading as opposed to watching).

My 3D Blu Ray of Dark of the Moon arrived today. I get to watch it with my head at an awkward angle and a migraine in the privacy of my home whenever I want. Whooooo!

Post by **Kaylee** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 8:10 pm

How can I justify not liking it if I haven't seen it? Such a bind.

Hot Shot · Post by **Hot Shot** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 8:39 pm

I dunno. I do just fine.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:17 pm

so will this new film feature TF I can actually see? untill now its just a mess of moving metal, like an animated junk yard or somthing..

DJ_Convoy · Post by **DJ_Convoy** » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:16 pm

"Oh, look, a truck! Full of explosions and confusion!"- Rifftrax

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Thu Feb 16, 2012 9:08 am

Karl wrote:How can I justify not liking it if I haven't seen it? Such a bind.

Valid point. First rule of criticising a film is of course to have actually seen it first.

What I don't get is all the people who hated the first two, but then rushed out to see DotM as soon as it came out... and proceeded to bitch and cry about it being awful. Well duh. It's an insanely popular money-spinning summer franchise film... same exec producer, same director... did they really think that just because it had a new writer and no Megan Fox that it was going to be Django? More of the same. I mean why do that to yourself?

Unless of course the whole purpose of being a Transformers fan is to torture yourself simply to be the first/wittiest to bitch about it.* In which case I'm off to watch the Unicron Trilogy and re-read All Hail Megatron!

* - I really should know this by now.

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:06 am

Brendocon wrote:
Karl wrote:How can I justify not liking it if I haven't seen it? Such a bind.
Valid point. First rule of criticising a film is of course to have actually seen it first.

What I don't get is all the people who hated the first two, but then rushed out to see DotM as soon as it came out... and proceeded to bitch and cry about it being awful. Well duh. It's an insanely popular money-spinning summer franchise film... same exec producer, same director... did they really think that just because it had a new writer and no Megan Fox that it was going to be Django? More of the same. I mean why do that to yourself?

Unless of course the whole purpose of being a Transformers fan is to torture yourself simply to be the first/wittiest to bitch about it.* In which case I'm off to watch the Unicron Trilogy and re-read All Hail Megatron!

* - I really should know this by now.

To my credit I did go into all three with an open mind thinking 'I'll give it a fair chance, it might surprise me'. A part of me desperately wanted to enjoy them

EDIT - and by 'go into them', I mean fire up Media Player :S

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:52 am

Karl wrote:A part of me desperately wanted to enjoy them

I did the same. And did enjoy them. Clearly I am more desperate than you.

[they do actually work better on t'cinema screen than a computer, but with the price of tickets nowadays... well.]

Sunyavadin · Post by **Sunyavadin** » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:12 pm

Oh, for the love of....

inflatable dalek · Post by **inflatable dalek** » Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:53 am

I'm looking forward to it. And I doubt it'll be a full on reboot, more a fresh jumping on point, something that's not going to go out of its way to contradict the previous films but isn't going to be particularly beholden to them either.

So you'll have the Autobots already on Earth and working with NEST, but no time spent on explaining where Sam is, new alt modes, and, at most, that Doctor Who style amnesia on the part of the general public about the constant alien invasions going on around the planet so the new human characters can do the full sense of wonder thing.

I'm also going to stake on Megatron being in it, it's hard to see him not being in the 30th Anniversary film, none of my non-fan friends took his DOTM death remotely seriously anyway and if nothing else it'll be easy to involve him in an extended flashback.

Oh, and Glenn Morshower of course. Speaking of whom, I noticed when rewatching season 2 of 24 that NEST showed up at one point. OK, they're probably the much duller real life group that deal with nuclear stuff, but as far as I'm concerned that makes the TF films and the show all part of the same Universe (as long as you accept the average 24 plot being less realistic) and Pierce and Morshower's two TF characters are triplets.

Aaron Hong · Post by **Aaron Hong** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 3:25 am

spiderfrommars wrote:DOTM has the truly atrocious Rosie Huntington-Whiteley but on the plus side it hasn't got any dick jokes. Both go on forever.

What about those long things thrusting into the roads and buildings then?