Star Wars (and the fixing thereof)

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:55 am

So, JJ Abrams is gonna do a new Star Wars movie in 2015-ish. And since I've enjoyed everything I've seen from the guy, I've got no reason to think that I won't like this. But I'm not super hard to please. I liked the original trilogy. I liked each of the prequels the first few times I saw them.

But, I was thinking (for who knows what reason) about what I'd have done differently if (for who knows what reason) I were given control of Star Wars after Episode VI. Like, George Lucas said "I want to tell the stories that came before...but I'm busy doing whatever it is I do. So...you do it. Here's like 50 million 1980's dollars. Go make me three movies that tell the story leading up to the story in my movies. And remember, I get a **** ton of cash from toys. So make some cool stuff we can market. Go now. I need to finish feeding my chin to my beard.

I wouldn't have set the movies in the past. I'd have a framing sequence with Luke talking to the Force ghost of his father. Anakin would tell a story pretty similar to episode II with some of episode 1 thrown in.

Obi-Wan and a few other Jedi knights found Anakin when he was in his late teens. He was a smuggler for Watto (who worked under Jabba), and an extremely skilled star pilot. He was freed by Obi-Wan and drafted into the Clone Wars. He fell in love with a woman (who was not any kind of royalty, because, honestly, what good does that do?) and knocked her up. Fearing for her safety (because of what he thought were premonitions, but where actually caused by Palpatine) he throws in with the (not cartoonishly evil) Emperor.

The Jedi are not nearly as huge and all-powerful as they were portrayed in the movies. They're like an elite task force. There aren't thousands of them. They don't train from birth. They're just freakin' good. They're the Empire's SWAT team.

So, that's the first prequel. Anakin tells Luke how he got plucked from obscurity, trained as a Jedi, fell in love, and was (out of love and concern) seduced to the Dark Side of the Force (which, by the way NOT CALLED THAT by anybody except the Jedi.

Movie II is an abbreviated Episode III. Anakin is carrying out missions for the Emperor. Padme is pregnant. Obi-Wan performs their (secret) wedding ceremony. Palpatine makes his power grab and the Jedi come out in opposition to him. Anakin kills a ton of Jedi (to defend Palpatine) but (and this is important) lets the younger ones escape. Obi-Wan and Anakin argue about ideals and such. They fight. Obi-Wan cripples the hell out of Anakin, who begs to be put out of his misery, but Obi-Wan refuses and actually saves his life. As he slowly recovers, he learns that his wife died in childbirth. And his son was kidnapped by Obi-Wan.

Movie III is Vader hunting down the now matured Jedi while Obi-Wan and Vader watch over Luke and Leia (who they arranged to have adopted by the rulers of an entire planet, thinking they'd have the resources to keep her safe). By the end of the movie, the only Jedi remaining is Obi-Wan (and whatever is left of Anakin Skywalker, who is now free to search for his son).

As Anakin finishing telling his story about the last of the Jedi, we see Luke, son of Vader, training the NEW Jedi.

And that's what I'd have done with the prequels. I'd have kept them small. Small-ish, anyway.

What do you think? Would you have liked/hated that more than what Lucas actually made?

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:03 am

That's great. And I don't mean this disparagingly, but it points to the fact that it's actually not tough to rewrite the prequels.

I've done it too, even hewing close to the idea that I was doing a final pass on Phantom Menace and couldn't change much. The only tweaks I made? Killed off Qui-Gon early on and thrust Obi-Wan into the spotlight. Had Watto sell Anakin's mother away before he got to say goodbye, to add hearbreak. Had Jar Jar Binks do something, anything sympathetic instead of acting stupid the whole time and running away at the end. And of course, improved the dialogue. I think I added an expository scene in which Sidious and Maul discuss the history of the Sith.

Or you could take a whole different tack and have Episode 1 be a counterstory between a young Obi-Wan's training and Palpatine's grab for power, and not bring Anakin in until the end.

Those movies just cry out to be fixed. Maybe a remake is in the works. I speculated on such in this review of the comic series Star Wars: Legacy, which does a decent job of showing the Anakin-type we all wanted to see: http://www.intergalacticmedicineshow.co ... rticle=035

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:34 am

I agree. I don't think it would be difficult to "fix" the prequels at all. I feel about the Star Wars the same way I feel about Power Rangers. The worlds and the premises are are AWESOME. Nearly limitless in what could be done. But the people telling stories in those worlds...aren't great at doing that.

With Power Rangers, the stories suffer because they're basically disposable children's entertainment cobbled together with fight scenes from a Japanese TV show.

With Star Wars... I don't know. Maybe it was just one thing after another. Like, look at the original Star Wars (before it became "A New Hope). It was pretty cool. But it had a plot that was dated before the stuff Lucas ripped it off from used it. But it LOOKED incredible. The look of that movie, and subsequent follow-ups turned what would have been another forgettable 70's movie into a worldwide phenomenon. And, somewhere along the line, people figured "This guy proved us all wrong and made everyone boatloads of cash...let's just let him do whatever he wants!"

If literally any filmmaker in history had turned in the script for Phantom Menance, they'd have been made to make no shortage of minor-to-major changes. But not George Lucas. He made everyone a ton of cash. And, with Phantom Menance, he did it AGAIN. Could it have been better? Hell, yes! Did it really matter at the time? Hell, NO!

But the characters and the worlds from New Hope are freaking AMAZING. Stan Lee in his prime, type amazing! You could have gone off and done utterly amazing things with every one of them. But Lucas...didn't. His vision fell short of what could have been.

Want to know the secret to Star Wars? The thing that holds the whole thing together? DARTH VADER! Yeah, it wasn't much of a secret. But that character was every possible kind of badass. But most of the rest of the original trilogy, and ALL of the prequels stripped away layers and layers of badassery.

Cute kid Darth Vader? That was not "an interesting choice." That was a MISTAKE. That was a HUGE mistake. Especially since you never really saw him change. He went from "Cute Kid" to "Dickish Teenager" to "Worried adult" to "LOLKILLEVERYONE!" with nothing in between.

I'm the most casual Star Wars fan ever, by the way. I figured, being a geek and all, I should be more into it, but I could never do it. The characters were amazing, but the movies were just kind of okay. And the books were...legion, I guess the term would be. And, hamstrung by the movies.

The most unforgivable thing in the prequels though isn't the "making Darth Vader a cute kid". It's making him completely beyond redemption in the last 30 minutes of Episode III.

In New Hope, Vader doesn't really seem to mind using torture or, you know, letting some guy blow up an entire planet. That's pretty bad, but you could spin it. Torture? Big deal. Blowing up the planet? Not like he could have stopped it. And he didn't order it himself.

Episode II, Anakin kills a bunch of Tusken Raiders. Brutal, but they killed his mom. And the women. And the children. Ok. Red flag. Red flag that...nobody seems to bat at eye at. He just killed a bunch of women and children, doesn't seem super upset by this fact, and neither does anybody else.

Episode III. Killed all the younglings...about 15 minutes after joining the Sith. That's unforgivable. There's no redemption there. "Saved Luke and killed the Emperor?" So ****ing what? You don't get to "Force Ghost it up with your old buddies" after that. Make it "mind control" or something. But "Yes, I'll help you, but please save my wife. You can't? Ok. Gonna go kill all the kids now."

So, what if, in Episode VII, they reveal that the events of the prequels were lies? The stuff that makes Vader irredeamable were lies spread by Vader's enemies. The stuff about him being a cute little kid? Same deal. They make Vader appear to both a weakling AND an unrepentant psychopath.

I can't possibly be the only person to think that would be cool.

Imagine what you could do by having much of the prequels be "propaganda".

The Jedi Order wasn't a huge, sweeping, massive organization with ivory towers, wisened elders, and an unyielding code of honor that demanded they protect the Republic. They were heavily trained mercenaries who outlived their usefulness once that Republic got its hands on a huge, clone army.

The Empire didn't blow up Alderaan to crush Princess Leia. They did it because that's where the rebels (who were plotting to overthrow them) had been based.

Eh? Eh?

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:06 pm

Professor Smooth wrote:Episode III. Killed all the younglings...about 15 minutes after joining the Sith. That's unforgivable. There's no redemption there. "Saved Luke and killed the Emperor?" So ****ing what? You don't get to "Force Ghost it up with your old buddies" after that. Make it "mind control" or something. But "Yes, I'll help you, but please save my wife. You can't? Ok. Gonna go kill all the kids now."

Yeah, that was just lame. By far the biggest flaw in those prequels was how they handled 'the turning' of Darth Vader.

Also, he goes from informing Mace Windu about Palpatine being the Sith lord one minute, to "I will do anything you ask" sidekick to the guy the next. That was just lame.

But I get over all that. By watching Star Wars:The Clone Wars! Watch it! You will then be thankful that the prequels existed, if only to make this show happen.

Post by **Kaylee** » Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:05 pm

I think Luke should wake up and discover JR in the shower. It was a dream all along.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:54 pm

Karl wrote:I think Luke should wake up and discover JR in the shower. It was a dream all along.

Bah Gawd, King!

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:47 am

Gentlemen, **** just got real.

Star Wars: Episode VII - New Report Says Harrison Ford Will Indeed Return as Han Solo - IGN

http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/02/15/ ... s-han-solo

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sat Feb 16, 2013 7:11 am

Mother of God...

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:02 pm

Well obviously that's sweet.

Still, I do have some trepidation for the JJ-zation of Star Wars. To me, JJ sucked most of the Star Trek out of Star Trek and made it a zippy science fiction story in Star Trek dressing. Now don't get me wrong, people these days don't like Star Trekiness (too utopic and black/white for our cynical "we're in the future and we're screwing it up" age) and Star Trek made money, but I still felt there was a certain je ne se qua missing from that movie and I am EXTREMELY interested to see if it returns in Into Darkness given that characters are established and Khan is involved.

So my biggest fear is that Star Wars will get that same treatment. I want slightly cheesy dialogue, I want Buck Rogers-esque space operatic, I want those "wipe-cuts"!

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:32 am

Shanti418 wrote:Well obviously that's sweet.

Still, I do have some trepidation for the JJ-zation of Star Wars. To me, JJ sucked most of the Star Trek out of Star Trek and made it a zippy science fiction story in Star Trek dressing. Now don't get me wrong, people these days don't like Star Trekiness (too utopic and black/white for our cynical "we're in the future and we're screwing it up" age) and Star Trek made money, but I still felt there was a certain je ne se qua missing from that movie and I am EXTREMELY interested to see if it returns in Into Darkness given that characters are established and Khan is involved.

So my biggest fear is that Star Wars will get that same treatment. I want slightly cheesy dialogue, I want Buck Rogers-esque space operatic, I want those "wipe-cuts"!

I'm with you, if JJ does to Star Wars what he did to Star Trek, it will be a disaster for me. The JJ Star Trek was a really enjoyable movie, don't get me wrong, as I'm not a Trek fan in the least. But I could fully understand the dismay true Trek fans had with neo-Star Trek JJ created. It was very jarring for them, as a new SW in this fashion would be for me.

Mark Hamill said it best. Bring back the old cast, use less CGI and more props, if only to capture the feel and magic of the original.

SW fans like me don't want a new twist on Star Wars. We just want Star Wars. I believe this can be done. Shantz mentions the wipe-outs, maybe as a joke, but I'm fully with him on this. Keep them wipe-outs. Keep anything you can to rekindle what SW was really all about. Hell, I'd accept old 'blue screen' tech.

Post by **Best First** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 8:08 am

Yaya wrote: SW fans like me

...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this is where it goes wrong.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:28 pm

Nah, this is where it went wrong:

Yaya wrote:true Trek fans

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 5:16 am

There is only one type of true SW fan. The ones "like me" (said in a Heath Ledger Joker kind of voice, but only more shrilly and annoying).

Oh and Watch Clone Wars!!!!

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 6:02 am

When you think about the creation of Star Wars, does anybody else think of a George Lucas caveman trying to assemble a Star Destroyer?