Captain's log, stardate some numbers I just made up.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:26 pm

No, wait - stardate unknown. That sounds more dramatic.

We are in orbit around a strange, previously unidentified planet in the outer reaches of space.

Rather than send down a specially trained team to explore the surface, I have decided to lead the landing party myself. Alongside me will be my second in command and a man who inexplicably acts like he is second in command, despite simply being the ship's doctor. Should anything happen to us on the planet, command of the ship will fall to a glorified mechanic.

For the seventh time in nine encountered planets, the atmosphere appears to be Earth normal. A perfect blend of nitrogen and oxygen that conveniently allows us to move around without any specialised apparatus. Gravity also appears to be Earth normal. Climate is comfortable.

Rather than explore the planet as a whole, we will be limiting our trip to a randomly selected hundred-square-yard area. The dominant lifeform in this region appears to be a bipedal primate - primarily bald aside from on its skull. Average height seems to be between five and six feet. Sophisticated clothing, reminiscent of a period in Earth's history. Native language remarkably similar to the US dialect of English.

Despite these randomly superficial similarities to own own culture, they are without doubt alien. They have strange mannerisms and a unique social structure that makes them distinct. It is... unnerving. Obviously unnatural. Almost as if they are waiting for somebody to free them and let them be exactly like us.

Despite my primary overriding mission objective being not to interfere... [composite word including 'f*ck'] it, just by arriving on the surface I have interfered. So, y'know, may as well go all out and try to justify it later. I will free these people from the misery they don't realise they're experiencing. Because that's what I do.

Oh, and I might try to boink one of their females, if she's hot enough.

Hot Shot · Post by **Hot Shot** » Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:10 pm

So you admit that you're William Shatner?

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:32 am

He admits that William Shatner is one of his alt-ids.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:08 pm

I'm about a third of the way through season 3. Send help.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:53 pm

We would, but the entire senior crew beamed down and was killed by an alien who mysteriously looks and talks just like Al Capone.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Sat Jan 19, 2013 2:28 pm

I HAVE CONCLUDINATED MY VOYAGE.

I've been mean about Trek in the past. This I know. And I thought maybe I was being unfair. Judging harshly on the basis of my experiences with the people who like it.

Well, having now sat down and given the original an actual full watching. An impartial and fair chance, I have to say it's nice to be vindicated.

Nooch.

Post by **Best First** » Sun Jan 20, 2013 10:20 pm

Snoogins