Yeah, so anyway...

Post by **Best First** » Sun Oct 07, 2012 7:18 pm

Some of you are already abreast of this via facebook. Wrote a long meandering post but in short;

34.
Single.

Three weeks ago i was.
34
Engaged
Oblivious to anything being wrong.

We were together for 5 years, the engagement (3 months ago) seems to have crystalised some doubts she has been having that she doesn't feel the way she should about me despite blah really care blah best friend blah.

i don't know if she is being realistic about how she should feel after a 5 year relationship, but i do know it's not my job to try and persuade her.

So i think it's done. She is in the process of moving out and i am having to buy the house (which we bought less than a year ago) off her.

I'm pretty sure there is no one else involved.

So in a month i have gone from being as happy as larry to being back to sqaure one.

****.

Hound · Post by **Hound** » Sun Oct 07, 2012 10:38 pm

Hugs dude. Really sorry to hear things worked out that way.

Without wanting to patronise you with ****** platitudes, things will get better again in time.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:50 am

Not good news, bud. Please find me on the old facer-booker if you need to talk.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 6:57 am

Yeah, I saw that and thought "Ouch". Hope you're holding up matey, if you need crashspace Londonwise, you're more than welcome to stay in the spare room where we shoot the geek porn.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:09 am

Sorry to hear that mate. You won't want to hear this now, but there are worse things in life than being 34 and single. Sure, I'm jealous of the mates I have who are married with children, but likewise they're all jealous of me for being not married with no children!

Stay strong bud.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:37 pm

Also recently 34 and single. Just haven't announced to the world yet. If you ever want to talk man, I'm always here for you. Sucks. Was really pulling for you.

Post by **snarl** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:50 pm

Condolences mate. I think she must be mad as you are a top, top man.

I fear for her she'll realise her mistake too late.

I am certain that all the women in your office will have wet their knickers at this - genuinely believe this - you are a smasher.

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 6:11 pm

I admire you stoicism, although you may not feel particularly stoic. You certainly are. I'd also like to echo Rob's comment: you're a great person, and although it didn't work out (and for a while it's going to hurt like dental pain in your heart) that's not your fault.

Things often just don't work out, and it's not because anyone did anything or didn't do something. It's just how things roll.

So don't lose sight of your being a handsome, intelligent and successful bod. You should be proud of that.

Also, as much as it hurts, think to all the good times in those five years. This isn't the end of the good times, just the beginning of good times with other people.

What you had with her you can have with someone else- but it has the potential be even more amazing, to be even better. Until then you can have good times with your friends, do those things you've wanted to do but couldn't and just generally indulge yourself.

We love you very much, and not without reason. She also did and still does love you, albeit not in the way you both wanted it to turn out. There are some stunning people out there who will love you when they meet you.

All that goes for you, too, Joey

You're fun, loyal and rock solid.

We're all here for you and, nosh as it sounds, tomorrow is another day. Stick The Touch on, order a pizza and make plans to see your mates.

Darth Aux · Post by **Darth Aux** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 6:23 pm

A friend of mine was once dumped by his fiance at Christmas dinner, by announcing she had been cheating on him,with a work mate (that he had met) after present opening ofc.

A few years forward and he is as happy as Larry again and with a wonderful new gf.

It can and will turn around Besty, go have some fun in the meantime.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 7:09 pm

snarl wrote:Condolences mate. I think she must be mad as you are a top, top man.

I fear for her she'll realise her mistake too late.

I am certain that all the women in your office will have wet their knickers at this - genuinely believe this - you are a smasher.

QFT.

Post by **Best First** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:31 pm

Thanks assholes.

Plan at the moment is for me to keep the house. I still travel a lot with work at the moment so it's a tough call as i won't be there all the time, but i guess that would be true wherever i am.

The trick will be not to be away in the week and again at weekends so it starts to feel like my home rather than our home.

So if anyone fancies a trip up north, let me know.

Gah. what a waste.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:32 pm

Best First wrote:Gah. what a waste.

As people have said, less of a waste than going through it all and having her say something five years down the row with a kid in tow.

And as people have also said (and with a great deal more personal experience with you than I, I imagine), you've got a lot of great things going for you outside of this in terms of career, personality, and a mini fiefdom where you are dictator for life, ie Transfans. The heart hurts, but the head can rationalize: if this is the worst thing that happens to you this year, it's been a pretty good year.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:21 am

Shanti418 wrote:
Best First wrote:Gah. what a waste.
As people have said, less of a waste than going through it all and having her say something five years down the row with a kid in tow.

That's what I was thinking. Sounds like a blessing in sh#ts clothing.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:35 am

Yaya wrote:
Shanti418 wrote:
Best First wrote:Gah. what a waste.
As people have said, less of a waste than going through it all and having her say something five years down the row with a kid in tow.
That's what I was thinking. Sounds like a blessing in sh#ts clothing.

I am going to go ahead and mayyybe say that possibly just this time, for a little bit, Yaya might know what he's talking about.

[edit] I'm making it worse, aren't I?

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:40 am

Shanti418 wrote:
Best First wrote:Gah. what a waste.
As people have said, less of a waste than going through it all and having her say something five years down the row with a kid in tow.

Or in my case, 10 years (anniversary is the 25th of this month) and 5 kids

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:48 am

Optimus Prime Rib wrote:
Shanti418 wrote:
Best First wrote:Gah. what a waste.
As people have said, less of a waste than going through it all and having her say something five years down the row with a kid in tow.
Or in my case, 10 years (anniversary is the 25th of this month) and 5 kids

Well clearly that's not as good. Do you think that was the case with you, OPR? That she wasn't sure about the whole relationship at that time? From my perspective diagnosing your life through some words you put on a message board, it seems like you two really did love each other and really wanted to make it work, but ultimately it was just too difficult.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:54 am

Ouch. Ouch ouch.

I know it's probably too early to be saying this, but: good job, not a chud, own house, and pretty cool (well, from what I know, which admittedly isn't a lot, but I assume since it seems to be the consensus). I'd say you won't be single for long once you decide to get back on the horse (so to speak).

OPR: Sorry as well. :/

Wish you both the best, guys.

Post by **Best First** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:25 am

Shanti418 wrote: The heart hurts, but the head can rationalize: if this is the worst thing that happens to you this year, it's been a pretty good year.

Yaya might know what he's talking about.

hmm...

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:23 pm

Mate I read this on book face and really feel for you. I kept. Quiet as, like u I almost to the day I'm 34 was engaged 3 weeks ago but I called it off after 7 years...

Like others said, it wouldn't be good if u went through with it.

Post by **Best First** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:08 pm

Jeezus.

Impy, OPR, BF, Vegas.

Darth Aux · Post by **Darth Aux** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:33 pm

Well just don't post the details of the trip here, coz what hapeens in Vegas...

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:48 pm

Best First wrote:Jeezus.

Impy, OPR, BF, Vegas.

good plan. We will definitely need jesus if the 3 of us hit vegas together.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:54 pm

New plan:

One of my roomates is from Brazil. Let's see if we can get a hookup in Rio!

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:57 pm

HAI GUYS.

I would have posted in this earlier, but I forwent the whole public stuff when it broke on the Bookface and told Besty how much I love him via text. So figured I had a pass.

But I'll send cyberhugs to OPR and Impy via this thread.

I may have been drinking, so probably won't remember this tomorrow. But it doesn't make it less true.

ALL THAT IS WRONG WILL BE RIGHTED IN THE END. Or some other naive philosophical crap. Get back on the whores. Horse. I said horse. Though that just sounds wrong. I didn't steal that joke from The Big Bang Theory at all.

Love you all.

Post by **Best First** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:10 am

The thing i am struggling with is... i need a plan.

Suddenly i have all this free time.

I am pretty content in work, so that's not an area of focus. I already work out/run quite a bit.

So i sit here thinking i need to concieve of something i want and come up with a plan to get it.

And all i come up with, what i want, is things how they were.

And part of me thinks if i want that, then i should fight for it. That's the manly thing to do right? Stand up and fight, know you couldn't have done more.

But another part of me knows (or thinks it knows) that there is no point of it's only me fighting for it, because this needs an army of two.

So i need something else.

But when i sit here and think about what i want... it just comes back to that, and nothing else feels satisfying or engaging in comparison.

Seriously, Jennfier Anniston could walk in here naked right now and i'd be 'meh'.

So i feel totally stuck.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:58 am

I vote that I drive to Manchester and get you drunk.

I'm off work next week and everything.

Post by **Best First** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:22 am

Could actually do with some company next sat. She is moving out so i need to be scarce during the day and seems to be a bit of a nexus of holidays and stuff for my local crew.

I'm off la booze for now though.

How does a day of all day non drinking sound?

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:12 pm

A sofa to kip on and I'll get you so not-drunk you'll forget why you started not-drinking in the first place.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:31 pm

Best First wrote:The thing i am struggling with is... i need a plan.

Suddenly i have all this free time.

I am pretty content in work, so that's not an area of focus. I already work out/run quite a bit.

So i sit here thinking i need to concieve of something i want and come up with a plan to get it.

And all i come up with, what i want, is things how they were.

And part of me thinks if i want that, then i should fight for it. That's the manly thing to do right? Stand up and fight, know you couldn't have done more.

But another part of me knows (or thinks it knows) that there is no point of it's only me fighting for it, because this needs an army of two.

So i need something else.

But when i sit here and think about what i want... it just comes back to that, and nothing else feels satisfying or engaging in comparison.

Seriously, Jennfier Anniston could walk in here naked right now and i'd be 'meh'.

So i feel totally stuck.

Write a novel?

The story of a man who loved Transformers.... TOO MUCH.

Post by **Best First** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:56 pm

Brendocon wrote:A sofa to kip on and I'll get you so not-drunk you'll forget why you started not-drinking in the first place.

airbed?