dont know what to do

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 6:49 pm

Last week jessy got drunk and arrested while I was at work. I bonded her out and she confessed that she has a problem and needs help.
Last night I went to the store, was gone 30 minutes. Came back and she had downed a bottle of mouthwash and took 3 trazodone and told me "I think its better if I'm just not around, anywhere"
I called 911. She's at the hospital. She wants to come home, but I think she needs to stay at the hospital.
Any advice would be great.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 7:41 pm

Holy crap. So sorry.

The psych ward can be a decent place to recover and feel a little safe from the outside world. It depends on how she feels in there.

Advice I've gotten on dealing with suicide attempts: get the person out with some constructive friends or family. Show a lot of love--wait to have the talk about how much it hurt/scared you for a bit. Maybe a week, maybe two. Find a family member or friend who will bear some of the support burden along with you and be in touch.

Of course, therapy in all its forms is required. Don't let a well-meaning doctor do something stupid like prescribing sleeping pills or anything really dangerous. Hide all meds in the house that could be dangerous.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:09 pm

Sorry to hear that man. I've had the "I've just taken a load of pills" phonecall twice (from the same person) and I genuinely have no real advice beyond echoing what Bumbz just said.

Get her into a happy state emotionally and make sure she understands exactly how important she is to everybody. Her. As a person, not as missus or mother or anything like that. As her.

Best of luck sir. Transfans Group Therapy is open 24 hours.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:34 pm

Is there a place you could both go to get away from things? A friend or family's cabin, something like that? That's all I can think of to add - maybe some space and time might help?

Other than that, stay strong and keep it together.

IronHide · Post by **IronHide** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:55 pm

Id recommend help, asap. Ive had friends ruin their lives because they didnt get into recovery soon enough. Hate for that to happen to you man, addiction is one of those scary things that you never know when it'll come back around. Hope everything works out for the best, I really do.

Post by **Kaylee** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:43 am

Cuddle.

That's tough, Joey. Firstly if you want to talk by all means do so:

twitter.com/karl_lynch
facebook.com/lynch.karl (I think you've already got me on this)
Skype: kgl2083
MSN: kgl2083 (at) hotmail (dot) com

Secondly, the best advice I can give (having double-checked with a couple of people) is that, assuming your insurance and/or funds cover it, you should ask her to voluntarily check in for professional help. She sounds seriously depressed and was self-medicating, but has now turned to suicide as a cry for help.

I know your (and my) first reaction would be to try and take her home, wrap her in a blanket (aka cotton wool) and then try to gently stroke/soothe all the problems away.

It won't work because sooner or later you're going to have to go outside into the world again to carry on life and leave her alone. You could arrange an army of friends to take shifts sitting with her, taking her out etc.

Again, it's not addressing the root causes and is liable to just give her time to descend into her own head... and that's where the voices get you. When everyone is sleeping or somebody isn't around for a little while, that's when the voices start eating away at your mind.

So if it's within possibility, get professional help. Try to steer them down the path of therapy rather than meds, because their first stop will be to just give you a sheet of pills to dish out. Though, for clarity, that sheet of pills can look damned tempting for the sake of an end to the problems.

Other, minor, things that can help are sunshine (vitamin D) and getting out for a little walk.

Like I said, if you need anything then I'm here and willing to listen

Good luck, pal. Cuddles (again).

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:21 am

The other thing I'd add is to let her know that getting drunk and arrested is not the end of the world. Everyone ****s up once in a while and it's not something to be proud of but it's also, well, a very human thing to do. Last Hallowe'en, my missus got so ratted on white wine that she lost all contact with reality - she ended up punching me in the face and ran off to the neighbours' house, despite never having even been there before (the neighbours, thankfully, were understanding). There are further gory details that I won't bore you with.

Afterwards, we made a bit of a joke of it but also had a serious talk about how white wine by the half-pint on an empty stomach is a very silly idea and that maybe such things should be tempered with moderation. But everyone makes mistakes and goes off the handle occasionally.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 6:13 am

Well the state has sent her to a hospital in Houston (about 2 hours away). We don't know how long she will be there. Supposed to have a conference call in the morning with her and her therapists. She sounds calm and happier. She said she met a woman who tried to kill herself because of her spouses drinking. She said it opened her eyes to what me and the kids go through dealing with her.
The kids are doing well. Thankfully, aa friend is currently unemplyed (he's a semipro skater) and is willing to help me with the kids so I can get bck to work

Anyway, that's the latest news..

Post by **Best First** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:29 am

Jeez man. Hadn't quite pieced together what was going on from the FB updates.

Not much to add beyond endorsing Karl's usual floppy ginger brilliance other than to say thoughts are with you.

Sounds like you have help, which is a step in the right direction, altho being two hours away is not ideal.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:11 pm

Woah.

It sounds like the sitch is being handled but I'm sorry that ****'s going down this way, man. Seriously hope that things work out.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:59 pm

Real tough challenge. Hope it all works out for you guys.