Jawbreaker talks how he scares easy.

[JawBreaker]

Allow me to set a remarkably unambitious scene; there I was in the bath, thinking.
Which seems a ridiculously obscure sentence now I’m typing it out but what else are you going to be doing? After a certain age you’re just too old to take that battleship in with you and a titanic rubber duck on its own is simply not a viable plotline.

Anywho. Me. Bath.
And I was thinking about sex, which again seems strange but it’s early and your naked, so I’m chalking it up to natural thought progression.
And I was thinking “You know what? I probably wouldn’t have sexual relations with someone who had been with a very high amount of other fellows'.

I’m not an egotistical guy and I’m willing to believe I’m around average at just about everything, that includes relationship malark.
I.e Sex.

The reason I can’t say for definite is there’s no reliable way you can ever know if you’re above or below average; there’s no party without an agenda.

So your current girlfriend says you’re great in bed? Whoopty-do and your mum says you’re a handsome, handsome man.
Your ex says you were rubbish after all? Shocking
Wait, your ex now says you were great, no kidding!? Right. Ok.

In fact the only time it’s worth consideration is if your current girlfriend said you were lacklustre, then you might have your problems; then again some people like a good nipple clamp, so maybe some people enjoy a good ego slap too, who can honestly tell.

My point is its safe to assume your middle ground, hell maybe slightly above or belew dependant on mood; its safe because frankly the only positions people care to occupy or even remember is whenever or not you are top and bottom (Hoho for out of context jokes).

Now, say I sleep with generic stranger number one, after which it is revealed she’s been with a thousand (huzzah, hyperbolas!) other guys; asides suspecting her of harbouring a time machine enabling her the time to, it wouldn’t bother me; what’s done is done and you’re already being added to the list, unless you are remarkably unlucky you will be listed among the nameless middle.

But say you knew the lass had been with a thousand fellows beforehand, you know your not going to be number one, number one is most likely an obscure accountant by the name of Ben, who no-one would suspect is secretly a sex guru, among having the ability to fly and shoot lighting out of his hands at will (you try competing with that).

I would find that hugely off-putting; not only has she managed to sleep through a small town community but the level of competition is remarkably high.

Now say you start a relationship with this person.
Now you know your not number one, you have a one in a thousand chance and that means when your there, makin’babies(!), she’s really thinking deep down, “Man, I wish this guy could shoot lightning on orgasm”.
Ok now that sounded wrong but you get my drift.

Someone else has been there and done that and better.
WORSE: you won’t know because she will likely feed your delusions of sexual grandeur. Really, when have you ever been the best at anything? You’ll never be the best unless you cull those numbers or know the competition first hand but it's a rare likelihood that you can identify them as sexually inept.

So yes, big numbers scare me.
Do they scare YOU?

[IronHide]

First off, I love your posts. They make me laugh, cringe, and think. All important contributions, so I must thank you for that.

Now, onto the question at hand, does my (potentially long-term) lover's bedpost notches scare me. Depends I suppose, if it is actually a thousand or over and she happens to make me privy to that fact, I think I would generally be concerned that I wouldnt break the top 500 as far as prowess. Certainly more doubtful that I wouldnt break the top 600-700 with relation to size (of course it matters, saying differently is just your girl being nice).

Now, say we're talking about a lower number (10 or less). Drastically less concerned, provided that they werent: A - While we were together. B - If it was with someone I know and interact with on a daily basis. C- Was my dad or any other living male relative.

[saysadie]

[composite word including 'f*ck'] worrying about your prowess, with that many sex partners I'd be worried about diseases, yo.

[Obfleur]

Can you actually be "good in bed"?
I mean, if Person A, who enjoys a good pounding in the ass whilst hanging up-side-down talking like Batman, sleeps with Person B, who only enjoys kissing... then nobody will have a good time. They will both say that the other was bad in bed.

But if Person A finds a person who likes doing it up the bum whilst talking like Alfred... that's a match made in heaven! They'll both be all "man, you are mean in bed!"

And if you've been together with a boy/girl for a year or more (or whatever) I'm pretty sure that the other part is satisfied with the sex life (otherwise, wouldn't you be getting the hell out of there?).

[Guest]

What Ob said.

Compatibility leads to long term satisfaction.

[Best First]

Relationship sex is different to one night sex is different to brief fling sex (although some can lead to the others) so the comparison is a bit moot anyway.

You might have been the best shag she had at the start of the relationship and now be utterly failing to live up to that due to the fact you now come to bed in your Debenhams grots and yoy kinda stopped going to the gym as much when previously it was all Paul Smith and benchpresses - what about that eh? You are not even as good as you.

Like Ob says it's all a bit wah? anyway.

Not that everyone doesn't worry about it. Although not eneough to buy new pants as often as i should...

[Brendocon]

when previously it was all Paul Smith

To be fair, though, everybody loves Maximo Park.

[yes, cheap gags is all I have to offer that hasn't already been said]

[snarl]

If you're good at football and or dancing, you are good at sex.

That my friends, is FACT.

I am good at football and dancing... Some of my mates must have very forgiving girlfriends.

BOOYAH.

[bumblemusprime]

I move that Jawbreaker make a mandatory post once a week.

I have only had sex with

one person

ever.

Same for her.

It's working out pretty well.

[bumblemusprime]

Wow, that killed the thread.

[Guest]

Wow, that killed the thread.

Murderer!


Alternatively, it could have just been due to a "too busy to go on transfans" weekend for a lot of people.

[snarl]

It doesn't work on my home pc.

What do you do to make it work again when only one site keeps saying "DNS error"?

[bumblemusprime]

Stop downloading so much porn.

[JawBreaker]

Cheers for the kind words chums though I have to admit I initially expected more raised eyebrows than responses.

While I agree that sex in a long term relationship is developed overtime with personal quirks taken into consideration and resulting in it affectively being tailor-made, I will stand by the (perhaps cynical) belief that ultimately it’s a joint compromise and while I’m not particularly a personal advocate for the one night stand they do allow you to ask, without hesitation (within reason) for what you want; given most contexts however in actuality it amounts to "The least drunk leads the way".

Though one could argue a long term partner would be far more willing to dress up as the Hamburgler (I’d burgle his hams!) and aid me live out my sordid fantasies than a random, intoxicated bystander.
Two however could argue that the stability of the relationship, though presumably (debatably) grounded on honesty would benefit from me keeping quiet.

Dilemma.

[Shanti418]

Usually on one night stands, though, the action is limited. For example, you may like pretending that you're Optimus Prime while someone is rogering you with a broom handle, but if you're horny and you're hooking up with someone, you'll probably be satisfied with saying "Till all are One" under your breath in between thrusts.

With relationships, there's the domestic dynamic and the relationship dynamic, ie "I put down the toilet seat, washed the dishes, and I've committed to you, so put on the costume already and placate me!"

On the other hand, the domestic dynamic can obviously go wrong, so you could end up not getting any because you didn't stick up for her in front of your mother.


In terms of QUANTITY, if I was about to be with a girl and I knew she shagged 1000 guys, I don't think I would be turned off. It means she knows what she's doing, she enjoys it and likes doing it regardless of whatever persuasion I would be engaging in.

I certainly would endeavor to leave a lasting impression on her, and would most likely try to accomplish this by either identifying something that she likes sexually that most partners don't indulge in or by fawning over her pleasure. But I don't think this would matter in the long run, in terms of one night or fling sex, because once you encounter the problems of trying to be a skilled sexual partner, you already ARE a sexual partner, and so really, you're already in the winner's circle.

But really, this is just a paraphrase of Ob's advice: If you want to get up the "Awesome in Bed" list, just find out what she likes and do that without care or regard to what you like, because really, you're a guy and being naked with a girl who wants to have sex with you is what you like already.

[bumblemusprime]

<quote>In terms of QUANTITY, if I was about to be with a girl and I knew she shagged 1000 guys, I don't think I would be turned off. It means she knows what she's doing, she enjoys it and likes doing it regardless of whatever persuasion I would be engaging in. </quote>

See this is a weird thing to me... naturally. I guess it's because of the hardcore monogamy that has marked my life and not really been all that difficult. Sex is pretty much our thing. We figured out how to do it properly and how to do it kinky together. I don't think I could ever get my feelings disassociated from my wang, to put it bluntly.

[saysadie]

I'm a little bit grossed out that no one thinks of diseases when it comes to the theoretical *cough* "lady" with 1000 sex partners. It's the first thing I thought of. A condom isn't a bulletproof shield, people. Ew.

That said- I really don't have a whole lot of worries when it comes to sex (Asides from diseases). I do what I want, people either like it or [composite word including 'f*ck'] off. Oh, getting stuck with someone's bastard would be a worry. Well- the BF's bastard now, I guess, seeing as how he's the only person I've been shagging for the past 3+ years.

[Obfleur]

I'm a little bit grossed out that no one thinks of diseases when it comes to the theoretical *cough* "lady" with 1000 sex partners. It's the first thing I thought of. A condom isn't a bulletproof shield, people. Ew.

Well, you just ask your partner "Dude, take an STD test", and then: problem solved!
If your partner refuse, you tell them to [composite word including 'f*ck'] off, or don't have sex.

[Impactor returns 2.0]

I'm going to stay out of this.

Sex is what u make it to be, hopefully fun, live a little!

I'm a ******* deviant tho, and so is the missus

[JawBreaker]

Realizing I really have nothing further to add to this asides agreement, I decided to draw (in continuous line) the upcoming British political candidates as if taking part in a running race held by Alastair Stewart.

And they are all dressed as Macdonalds characters.



I rest a case. Of some sorts.

[saysadie]

I want to print that, frame it and hang it in my living room.