After OPR

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:59 pm

I'm going to be a dad again!

Whoa.

Hot Shot · Post by **Hot Shot** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:39 am

Congrats!

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:53 am

Magnificent work sir!

Post by **Best First** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:10 am

Congrats S(r)punker.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:13 pm

I prunkned her good.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:50 pm

Congrats sprunkinator!

Aaron Hong · Post by **Aaron Hong** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:12 am

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:06 am

Good shot, sir.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:37 pm

We have another due any day now.

Grats!

(If you ever figure out whats causing all these babies. let me know kk?)

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:15 pm

Really? Something in the water here at transfans.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 5:57 pm

Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:04 pm

Sam was born last night at eight, right on the bed where he was made. He is nine pounds, slept through the night relatively well, and true to his hobbit namesake, had three breakfasts this morning.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:33 pm

Guess we won't be hearing from you in a while. Congrats.

Post by **Kaylee** » Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:14 pm

How lovely :3 all the best x

IronHide · Post by **IronHide** » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:24 pm

On the bed? Ewwww.....

Congrats nonetheless! Shower him with copious amounts of metallic shape changing toys!

Legion · Post by **Legion** » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:27 pm

congrats!

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:10 am

Yayyy. Happy Baby Day!

Post by **Best First** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:50 am

Congrats to you both.

Mainly you though - you did the hard bit.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 4:58 pm

Seriously. I caught the little hobbit and got amniotic fluid all over my hands.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:19 pm

bumblemusprime wrote:Seriously. I caught the little hobbit and got amniotic fluid all over my hands.

So now you know the truth. Birth isn't beautiful like they say.

In fact, it may very well be one of the most disgusting events I have ever witnessed.

I remember when I delivered my first baby in medical school. Picture all the jubilant nurses and family members around me smiling whilst I'm at the center of it with a mask, forehead dripping wet and eyes wide in horror as the admixture of feces, urine, aminiotic fluid, blood and baby presents itself to me. And just as I think things couldn't get worse, then comes the placenta.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, looks or smells as bad as placenta.

Only the little one can make it worth all that.

Post by **Best First** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:08 pm

Yaya wrote: Nothing, and I mean nothing, looks or smells as bad as placenta.

Not even the dealer room at Botcon 2010?

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:32 pm

Well, you might have me there.

Actually, from my med school days, there was one thing that topped them all. It was also during my OB/Gyn rotation.

I was on call that day for the ER and had been called in for a homeless patient c/o pelvic pain with fever. The homeless part already had me worried enough, but nothing could prepare me for the stench I was about to experience. I walked in and the lady said she had been having progressively worsening pelvic pain over the last three months. So I began to examine her. Already, the room smelled of something unearthly. I got the speculum out and she spread her legs and pus, yes vaginal pus, began seeping out. I began to heave under my mask. My voice changed into something inhuman, much akin to Gollum with a loogie stuck in his throat, as I half-talked, half-wretched the women through the exam. The worst was yet to come. I grabbed a forceps and delivered a three month old tampon out of the ladies seeping vagina. The smell that came with it....the smell that came with it, I don't think can be described in a tongue native to Earth. Maybe there's some race of alien beings somewhere in the universe that might be able to do it descriptive justice. I vomited. That was the day I questioned my choice of profession.

I have other crazy stories from my med school days you might get a good laugh at.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:16 pm

O

M

G

where the hell is that puking emoticon?

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:59 pm

Another medical incident. Again, during my OB rotation.

This women came in for complaints of abdominal swelling over the past year. A CT scan confirmed a huge ovarian cyst. We went to surgery and opened her up. "Huge" isn't the word. It was literally the size of a basketball. I remember one of the residents commenting it looked like a human head because it had a bump like a "nose". It was quite gross to behold. It was green and veiny. Anyway, I was instructed to retract it away from it's stalk at the ovary. So I pulled it towards me. The attending said he couldn't get a good enough view, so he asked me to pull harder. Big mistake. I pulled harder, and POP!, it burst and a wave, yes, a wave, of green fluid poured over the table onto the OR floor and onto the resident. (Miraculously, I was spared). I laughed out loud and was reprimanded for it. Fortunately, there was no associated odor, but twas a sight I'll never forget.

Another incident. As the medical student, you're at the bottom of the ladder, the lowest rung. As such, when a dirty job arises, you're the first to be asked, and if you want good marks, you're the first to offer. Well, there's a thing we do for all the old people who are too constipated to **** called a disimpaction. Essentially, it entails manually reaching into the rectal vault and literally grabbing feces that are too stubborn to come out, disimpacting the obstruction. I was called upon for this dubious task, but of course, did not offer (good marks be damned). But when ordered to do something, you do it. So I did it. I know some here like to talk about the places they've been, places no one else has been. But let me tell you, sometimes 'going where no man has gone before' isn't something to brag about.

Another funny incident. I was on my psychiatry rotation. It was my very first clinical rotation as a medical student. I was asked to counsel one of the patients who was severely depressed. During my first session with him, he mentions to me that Lincoln comes to him during the night and fondles his genitals. I act unsurprised, play the poker face. I picture in my mind Abraham Lincoln approaching this man in the wee hours of the night and grabbing the patient's crotch. I realize this man's psychosis runs deeper than I was originally led to believe. I start asking him about why he thinks this happens. He says "hell if I know, I think he's always been a pervert." I've read a lot of things about Abraham Lincoln, but being a perv was never mentioned. We talk about this problem for about an hour. Finally, I say "should I tell the attending that you see Abraham Lincoln doing this to you?" The patient gets this quizzical expression on his face and asks "Abraham? I'm talking about Lincoln. Lincoln Sherman. The patient I share a room with." I look over at the patient's room info. Yep. His roommate is Lincoln Sherman.

To this day I can't help but laugh at this. I mean, the guy was depressed, not psychotic. He's telling me all this, and I'm picturing Abraham Lincoln, top hat and all, fondling this man. Sigh.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Thu Jul 01, 2010 11:28 pm

grats man! You can imagine my surprise at this topic. I was thinking "After OPR? does this mean PVP just became the real deal? should I be afraid? what is he after me for? more importantly, what is he after me WITH?"

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:50 am

Yaya- I hope one of "your patients" finds out you tell stories about them on the internet.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:05 am

saysadie wrote:Yaya- I hope one of "your patients" finds out you tell stories about them on the internet.

All of these incidents occurred over twenty years ago as a medical student. It's against the law to divulge personal medical info in any form in the US, so I would never give info that would reveal the identity of a patient.

Just some embarassing stories in the life of a medical student. Not meant to be offensive.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:22 am

Yaya wrote:Another medical incident. Again, during my OB rotation.

This women came in for complaints of abdominal swelling over the past year. A CT scan confirmed a huge ovarian cyst. We went to surgery and opened her up. "Huge" isn't the word. It was literally the size of a basketball. I remember one of the residents commenting it looked like a human head because it had a bump like a "nose". It was quite gross to behold. It was green and veiny. Anyway, I was instructed to retract it away from it's stalk at the ovary. So I pulled it towards me. The attending said he couldn't get a good enough view, so he asked me to pull harder. Big mistake. I pulled harder, and POP!, it burst and a wave, yes, a wave, of green fluid poured over the table onto the OR floor and onto the resident. (Miraculously, I was spared). I laughed out loud and was reprimanded for it. Fortunately, there was no associated odor, but twas a sight I'll never forget.

Another incident. As the medical student, you're at the bottom of the ladder, the lowest rung. As such, when a dirty job arises, you're the first to be asked, and if you want good marks, you're the first to offer. Well, there's a thing we do for all the old people who are too constipated to **** called a disimpaction. Essentially, it entails manually reaching into the rectal vault and literally grabbing feces that are too stubborn to come out, disimpacting the obstruction. I was called upon for this dubious task, but of course, did not offer (good marks be damned). But when ordered to do something, you do it. So I did it. I know some here like to talk about the places they've been, places no one else has been. But let me tell you, sometimes 'going where no man has gone before' isn't something to brag about.

Another funny incident. I was on my psychiatry rotation. It was my very first clinical rotation as a medical student. I was asked to counsel one of the patients who was severely depressed. During my first session with him, he mentions to me that Lincoln comes to him during the night and fondles his genitals. I act unsurprised, play the poker face. I picture in my mind Abraham Lincoln approaching this man in the wee hours of the night and grabbing the patient's crotch. I realize this man's psychosis runs deeper than I was originally led to believe. I start asking him about why he thinks this happens. He says "hell if I know, I think he's always been a pervert." I've read a lot of things about Abraham Lincoln, but being a perv was never mentioned. We talk about this problem for about an hour. Finally, I say "should I tell the attending that you see Abraham Lincoln doing this to you?" The patient gets this quizzical expression on his face and asks "Abraham? I'm talking about Lincoln. Lincoln Hampton. The patient I share a room with." I look over at the patient's room info. Yep. His roommate is Lincoln Hampton. To this day I can't help but laugh at this. I mean, the guy was depressed, not psychotic. He's telling me all this, and I'm picturing Abraham Lincoln, top hat and all, fondling this man. Sigh.

I read the last two to my mom and my wife and my wife almost did more damage to the already damaged parts from laughing so hard.

bumblemusprime · Post by **bumblemusprime** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:25 am

Optimus Prime Rib wrote:grats man! You can imagine my surprise at this topic. I was thinking "After OPR? does this mean PVP just became the real deal? should I be afraid? what is he after me for? more importantly, what is he after me WITH?"

Ha!

I always remembered the three "I'm going to be a dad again!" emoticons you used years ago when one of your kids was conceived. I thought about it when I found out Sam was coming.

Oh and having had a doctor daddy, I get the impression that if there is no way to identify the person involved, the story is free and clear among friends. Actually, by that logic, Ya, you might want to edit out the roommate's real last name.

Yaya · Post by **Yaya** » Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:29 am

bumblemusprime wrote:
Yaya wrote:Another medical incident. Again, during my OB rotation.

This women came in for complaints of abdominal swelling over the past year. A CT scan confirmed a huge ovarian cyst. We went to surgery and opened her up. "Huge" isn't the word. It was literally the size of a basketball. I remember one of the residents commenting it looked like a human head because it had a bump like a "nose". It was quite gross to behold. It was green and veiny. Anyway, I was instructed to retract it away from it's stalk at the ovary. So I pulled it towards me. The attending said he couldn't get a good enough view, so he asked me to pull harder. Big mistake. I pulled harder, and POP!, it burst and a wave, yes, a wave, of green fluid poured over the table onto the OR floor and onto the resident. (Miraculously, I was spared). I laughed out loud and was reprimanded for it. Fortunately, there was no associated odor, but twas a sight I'll never forget.

Another incident. As the medical student, you're at the bottom of the ladder, the lowest rung. As such, when a dirty job arises, you're the first to be asked, and if you want good marks, you're the first to offer. Well, there's a thing we do for all the old people who are too constipated to **** called a disimpaction. Essentially, it entails manually reaching into the rectal vault and literally grabbing feces that are too stubborn to come out, disimpacting the obstruction. I was called upon for this dubious task, but of course, did not offer (good marks be damned). But when ordered to do something, you do it. So I did it. I know some here like to talk about the places they've been, places no one else has been. But let me tell you, sometimes 'going where no man has gone before' isn't something to brag about.

Another funny incident. I was on my psychiatry rotation. It was my very first clinical rotation as a medical student. I was asked to counsel one of the patients who was severely depressed. During my first session with him, he mentions to me that Lincoln comes to him during the night and fondles his genitals. I act unsurprised, play the poker face. I picture in my mind Abraham Lincoln approaching this man in the wee hours of the night and grabbing the patient's crotch. I realize this man's psychosis runs deeper than I was originally led to believe. I start asking him about why he thinks this happens. He says "hell if I know, I think he's always been a pervert." I've read a lot of things about Abraham Lincoln, but being a perv was never mentioned. We talk about this problem for about an hour. Finally, I say "should I tell the attending that you see Abraham Lincoln doing this to you?" The patient gets this quizzical expression on his face and asks "Abraham? I'm talking about Lincoln. Lincoln Hampton. The patient I share a room with." I look over at the patient's room info. Yep. His roommate is Lincoln Hampton. To this day I can't help but laugh at this. I mean, the guy was depressed, not psychotic. He's telling me all this, and I'm picturing Abraham Lincoln, top hat and all, fondling this man. Sigh.

I read the last two to my mom and my wife and my wife almost did more damage to the already damaged parts from laughing so hard.

You should see my parents. They won't stop with that last story. Always gets a big laugh with that one, but I deserve it. That guy must have thought I'm the one who should have been admitted to the psych ward.