Sorry mate-my computer picked the evening of that post to crap out on me again, and it's only just decided to start working in the last 10 minutes-just wanted to say that if you'd like someone to talk to, you know how to get hold of me (although I obviously hope you're feeling better).Best First wrote:
dunno, seem to be still hankering over things that ended 2 years ago. quite severly as well.
Karly-although things feel desperate at the moment, you've done the right thing by starting to see a psychiatrist. As Besty said, this isn't a quick process (and I'm speaking from experience here), but it is a worthwhile one. I understand that the amount of help you're receiving at the moment may not feel like it's enough, but please hang on in their, and use us to help you through the rough times as much as we possibly can
In the interest of keeping up my tradition of not being able to post in these kind of topics without using some kind of cliche'd saying, things will get better in the end, and if they aren't better now, then it's not the end.
I understand how you feel-if you'd told me three years ago when I started seeing my shrink that I'd be doing as well as I am today, I'd have laughed in your face (although the depression would have considered such an act too much hassle, so I'd probably have just done my patented 'stare off into space' move), and although I still wobble and worry that it's all going to come crashing down around me on occassion, I'm learning to live with it a bit more every day.
I don't know if I've said this before, but a big part of my 'recovery' was finally allowing myself to see things the way they really are, as opposed to how I'd like them to be. Life is hard, and for the most part it's boring and meandering, and it can seem like the stuff we're all told we should be living for is in short supply, so we get upset and depressed when it seems like we can't 'live the dream' that everyone else appears to be. Also, I was forced to challenge my notion of 'love'. I personally feel that love isn't as wonderful as Hallmark would have us believe-it's hard work, and basically means we bend over backwards in order to make ourselves incredibly vulnerable for other people-this isn't a bad thing, but people will always screw you over whether they mean to or not, and the closer you are to those people, the more it will hurt you.
This all sounds incredibly negative, I know, but for me it was the complete opposite. As soon as I looked at the truth of things (or, the truth as I see it) life slowly got better. Once I stopped trying to force the good stuff, and stopped getting upset when it wasn't there, then the less I focussed on the less than great stuff that comes in between the wonderful moments, and then I started to use those 'lulls' to do productive things to fill the time whilst I looked forwards to the next good thing that was coming, regardless of how long it would take.
Sorry for rambling again-it's not my intention to depress you so I hope you understand what I'm getting at, even if you don't agree with it. I'm just trying to say that I've found the easiest way to become depressed is to try and chase that idea of what a happy life should be, especially when you're at the point where you're first and only focus should be your own well being.
Once again, I hope this reaches you in the manner it was intended Karl, and I hope you're doing better-my door is always open.
Take care.
I can't really offer a place to stay as I live in another country, but I really hope that all these professionals are doing their very best to help you.
