Who got game?

[Pissin' Poonani]

Thought I'd throw this out here, as it's a subject that I've been pondering.

'Game', as it's refered to nowadays-do you have it? How did you develeop it?

I've been around long enough to appreciate that looks aren't a guarantee of success-as I'm sure you're all aware, personality is a major factor too-I'm sure we've all been attracted to someone, only to find them vacuous or selfish (or any number of things that turn us off), as conversely we find ourselves drawn to people that at first we didn't find ourselves attracted to, simply because they prove to be people that we find engaging on a different level.

So, how are you with the opposite sex? Any advice you want to share?

For me, it would be (and this isn't anything new or earth-shattering, just repeatedly heard advice that has proven true over time)-confidence is your friend. Not 'arrogant-prick' confidence, but being the kind of person who is interested without being creepy, yet doesn't come across as being bothered whether you 'pull' or not-at the same time, not taking it so far that you seem uninterested, if you follow?

Although I know this, it can be hard putting it into practice. For instance-I've recently (yesterday) met a girl that I'll be seeing again in the near future (it's a business thing-nothing else), but it will probably only be for a handful of times. She's beautiful, and although I'm not Brad Pitt I'm not the ugliest guy in the world either. This is where my problem begins-because I see her as beautiful, it makes me see every flaw in myself and I undermine my own confidence-it's just something I do.

I'm not pinning any hopes on this becoming something, and this isn't the point of this post either (to get help)-for all I know she has a boyfriend, or just flat out wouldn't be interested, but it made me think "How do I know? How many potentially great relationships or even just great one night stands have I possibly thrown away, all because I undermine myself?"

I think since the break up of my last relationship, my choice to close myself off from women (in a sexual/relationship sense) so that I can sort my life out has cost me, because what 'game' I had is getting harder to recall-I'm trying to overcome this by going down the route of 'act as you would around your friends-they're your friends for a reason, so you must be doing something right'. I think it's important to be honest about who you are too, as you can get caught out in a lie fairly quickly.

I could go on and on, but I'll get this posted and see what you guys have to say on the subject.

[Brendocon]

I find that telling them you're Batman helps.

[/useless!]

[Best First]

hmm, i think to soem xetent you have to believe that you are, in the words of marketing scum 'worth it'.

i seem to be finding that the best way to do thsi is to just get on wih leife - have lots of other focus's, and generally the more you are into your own stuff the less creepy you will seem. As long as they don't spot you staring at their cleavage, which of course they never, ever do.

i think that the main thing is that if you are just happy getting along with life then you are more being yourself and that's far more attarative than when you are trying to be impressive.

Of course people have happy and less happy iterations of themselves and being your less happy iteration of yourself isn't always much use in terms of pulling, but to be honest i think at that time its best to get on with sorting your life out rather than hoping finding someone will do it fro you, which it probably won't.

So esentially i think the trick is to just get so caught up in life that you don't have time to second guess yourself.

Throw yourself into stuff, spend time with people you like and life just starts to happen.

possibly. i'm not really sure how useful that is to you, but good luck either way.

Also, remember the one thing you need to know:

You are Lisa Simpson.

[Pissin' Poonani]

Don't get the Lisa Simpson thang.

i'm not really sure how useful that is to you, but good luck either way.

It's all good stuff in my book, chiefy chief.

Just to clarify something though, this isn't a "Help Pissin' get some" topic-I think in trying to explain my mindset on certain aspects of 'game' it may have come across that way, but I'm more interested in seeing the perspectives of you guys and gals, and how you deal with things when it comes to having/attaining 'game' (don't think that I'm not appreciative of the advice though Besty-cheers).

I'm also a little sick of seeing myself type 'game'.

'Gamey game game game'.

I may try Brend's idea though-the law of averages states that it has to work at least once.

[Kaylee]

I'm not exactly useful in most social situations- whilst I don't have agoraphobia I do find crowds uncomfortable, which means most common meeting places like pubs, clubs and just social gatherings in general tend to be a non-starter for me. Standard practice is to turn up for politeness sake, mill around on the periphery as long as possible (preferably as unnoticeable as possible) and then to dissolve away when nobody will notice causing the least disruption.

Being socially awkward is a constant challenge. Mostly means I've got a 'game' rating of about zero usually. I generally either meet people through the 'net where such considerations don't matter (although first dates etc. usually turn people off of me as it becomes immediately apparent I'm quite a long way from the life and soul of a party. Nobody likes mad computer scientists these days ) or through prolonged contact as friends, where I'm able to slowly grow on people.

So yar, Karl game rating = 0'ish.

[IronHide]

I like to start out with something appropriate and mood setting.


"Hey, nice shoes. Wanna F***?"



And that's how its done.

[Shanti418]

Although I know this, it can be hard putting it into practice. For instance-I've recently (yesterday) met a girl that I'll be seeing again in the near future (it's a business thing-nothing else), but it will probably only be for a handful of times. She's beautiful, and although I'm not Brad Pitt I'm not the ugliest guy in the world either. This is where my problem begins-because I see her as beautiful, it makes me see every flaw in myself and I undermine my own confidence-it's just something I do.

I'm not pinning any hopes on this becoming something, and this isn't the point of this post either (to get help)-for all I know she has a boyfriend, or just flat out wouldn't be interested, but it made me think "How do I know? How many potentially great relationships or even just great one night stands have I possibly thrown away, all because I undermine myself?"

That's totally me as well. I have one great weakness when it comes to my game, and that is that I'm completly self defeating and picky.

If there's a sexy punk girl with lots of tats, I'm telling myself I'm way too square with my khaki shorts and collared shirts for her. I don't have enough tats, and I don't like punk enough, and I'm too studious.

If there's a cute booksih schoolgirl, I'm telling myself that I smoke and drink too much, play too many video games, and generally am not that studious.

And so on and so on.

STRICTLY PHYSICALLY SPEAKING.....I find that I have a serious problem of dating down. That is, to an objective party, I would generally be considered more attractive than her. I think that because I feel like I have the upper hand as far as that's concerned, I act with more confidence, but it's just ridiculous, because I could be getting some seroiusly beautiful girls.

[Pissin' Poonani]

That's totally me as well. I have one great weakness when it comes to my game, and that is that I'm completly self defeating and picky.

If there's a sexy punk girl with lots of tats, I'm telling myself I'm way too square with my khaki shorts and collared shirts for her. I don't have enough tats, and I don't like punk enough, and I'm too studious.

If there's a cute booksih schoolgirl, I'm telling myself that I smoke and drink too much, play too many video games, and generally am not that studious.

And so on and so on.

That is exactly the same for me, too*. Case in point: the girl I met yesterday said she'd spent the weekend at some rave thingy, so there's me seeing her being into dance music and possibly 'teh drugz', and then realising I spent the weekend doing gardening stuff while my rabbit and guinea pigs played merrily in the background, and I thought "[composite word including 'f*ck'] me-she'd think you're a complete loser".




*Except for the shorts-really don't have the legs for 'em.

[saysadie]

I find that just being female gives me more "game" than I have any use for.

[Best First]

ebay it.

[spiderfrommars]

I just tell jokes and show interest (in a non-romantic way) and see how things develop.

I've a major crush at the moment on someone at work probably way out of my league (she's on the telly, like) but I intend to make the impossible possible!

[Legion]

I find that just being female gives me more "game" than I have any use for.

is that even possible?

[Pissin' Poonani]

I just tell jokes and show interest (in a non-romantic way) and see how things develop.

I've a major crush at the moment on someone at work probably way out of my league (she's on the telly, like) but I intend to make the impossible possible!

Celebrity intrigue gets thrown into the mix! Best of luck dude!

With regards to the topic though, how does this 'affect' you? Because you think you have no chance are you more relaxed about talking to her? Does her celebrity make you nervous, or again, does it somehow take pressure off?

[spiderfrommars]

With regards to the topic though, how does this 'affect' you? Because you think you have no chance are you more relaxed about talking to her? Does her celebrity make you nervous, or again, does it somehow take pressure off?

I think we can be so used to putting people we fancy on a pedestal we can forget they have likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses like the rest of us. If that makes any sense. When you find common ground, what else matters?

[saysadie]

ebay it.

You can have it.

Well, some of it.

is that even possible?

Yes. Well, for me. Considering the types I've run into in the past, most of the time I'd much rather be left alone.

I think we can be so used to putting people we fancy on a pedestal we can forget they have likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses like the rest of us. If that makes any sense.

Makes sense.

[Best First]

Spidey is my monobrowed hero.

[spiderfrommars]

And you're my box-headed loverboy.