Love Sucks

man-with-the-dogs · Post by **man-with-the-dogs** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:02 am

There's this chick I know that I'm completely in love with. She has a boyfriend who she lives with, but she's expressed doubts about thier future together. I think she's the hottest girl I've ever seen and we seem to see eye-to-eye on alot of issues. I've never had these kind of feelings for anyone before, so I'm not used to dealing with them. I also don't really know how she feels about me. She seems to like me as a friend, but I think she usually goes more for preppy-jock-pretty boys than scraggily punk rockers. My logic says I should respect the fact that she's taken, but my heart says "[composite word including 'f*ck'] him." She's also going to be going through an operation soon and I so ******* want to be there for her. Anybody have any advice?

PS-No ******* smartass ansewers...please. I feel like I'm dying.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:15 am

Right now, you should play it cool and be her friend. It's much better to hang back and let their relationship take its course. Be there for her during her operation. That'll be important to her, and possibly extremely memorable if her boyfirned is an ass like you think he is and doesn't really come to see her. Plus, it'll just give you the chance to talk to her more and see how she really feels about you.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:10 am

I wouldn't call it love, I'd call it interest... at any rate, I know the feeling. But I wouldn't do anything at the moment- if she's taken, she's taken. Ain't no two ways about it, doesn't matter if you can justify it in your head by saying he's a dick, she's with that dick currently. Time'll tell if things go for them or don't, and if they don't, well... don't miss your chance to say something.

And don't forget that she's not the only chick out there. Don't get too hung up on someone who's taken.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:34 am

hmm, being friends with someone you fancy when they are with someone else can be a bit hellish.

if anything all you do is set yourself up for a fall and get stuck in the friendship, then probably end up watching as she spluis up with guy A and goes out with guy B.

Hanging around waiting is generally not a good idea anyway, best thing i sto usually try and find othertings to occupy your mind, epecially if they involve meeting new people.

Also going out and doing lots of stuff makes you realise that actually being single has some big plus points as you probably wouldn't be able to do half that crap if you were in a serious relationship. Nest time you get drunk and roll in a 2 in the morning with a kebab (or whateverit is you do ) reflect on the fcat that its not neccessarily a bad thing that there isn't someone there rolling there eyes at you for waking them up who you then have to be overly nice to for the next few days.

Alternatly is she is a good friend (sounds like you just met?) maybe its worth considering if the friendship is in fact the more important thingand try and get over the inafutation.

i know its all easier said than done. good luck.

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:25 am

Hmm, I actually think Besters advice was the best so far. I recommend going with that for the moment, seems kind of fun to be single you know?

Good luck lad.

Post by **snarl** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:06 pm

If she likes you and talks to you, playfully rip the piss out of her then tell her you're busy and she should buzz off.

Make her work man.

If she doesn't work for your time, I think you've not got much chance mate. Telling her you like her will just probs just make her think you're a bit weird - def dont do that.

Do what betsy says, occupy your time and get involved with other people. When you're meeting new people, you wont give a [composite word including 'f*ck'] mate.

Been there, done it myself.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 12:29 pm

i have actuallu just started seing someone and i am rapidly coming to the conclusion taht i would rather be out on the razzle dazzle with my mates.

being single is fun, at least i is once you have got over the situation that made you single in the first place.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:10 pm

Before my current GF I was spending more and more time with my mates fiance, they were going through hard times and I had fancied her for as long as I could recall, and for about a year we had got closer and closer untill we got into bed with each other... a drunken kiss and such was all that happened but it nearly cost me in many ways.

Id keep my distance and tell her your feelings.

Pissin' Poonani · Post by **Pissin' Poonani** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:16 pm

Best First wrote:
being single is fun, at least i is once you have got over the situation that made you single in the first place.

Couldn't agree more. For ages now, the idea of being part of a couple has held no appeal for me at all-as cliched as it sounds, I value my freedom far too much, and the thought of having to put up with somebody elses demands/problems just leaves me cold.

I think the best part (for me) is realising that I don't need someone to complete me, or validate me, if that makes sense? It's a nice feeling of confidence.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:23 pm

yes, that makes perfect sense.

i also think that the more you do your own thing and just get on with life in general and learn to be at ease with yourself the more likley you are to just blunder into someone who you can really connect with.

its a nice theory anyway...

we really all need to get our asses to the pub at some point.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:28 pm

to pull birds!

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 1:36 pm

no, to let them pull us.

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:10 pm

I found that once you really get happy being single and doing your own thing, the birds tend to flock. Sometimes even some keepers.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:38 pm

yeah, that's kind of what i'm getting at.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:46 pm

I have to keep a ****** stick with me at all times these days

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:53 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:I have to keep a ****** stick with me at all times these days

But that's because you're a ninja. And I think it's called a bo...

Selecta.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:55 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:I have to keep a ****** stick with me at all times these days

if you could be kind enough to herd them in certain directions that would be heroic on your part.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:59 pm

The humans have a saying, something about equine life forms and H2O...?

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 4:31 pm

they also have other, cruder phrases...

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 6:00 pm

Guys seem to like having a ton of chicks around them- Chicks seem to dislike having a ton of men around them. Well... I know I hate it anyway. I used to "have them flocking", I could go to the bar and pick up a different man every week [and to tell the truth, when I usually just used them for booze/a dance/a ride then left 'em hanging at the end of the night. I'm evil, y'see] but it was like they weren't even people to me. :/ I didn't much like having that feeling on my conscience... it all got immensely tiring after awhile anyway. The attention's nice, but it doesn't feel... what, real? Honest? Hard to pin down.

Right now I'm at the point where I'd much rather be by myself/maybe settle quietly with someone for awhile, I think. Even knowing that I have that inclination to settle down I get to thinking that I'll have a lot less time for me if I do and it makes me... kinda reluctant, in a way. But at the same time, I've had enough of being by myself. And I've definitely had enough of my mobile going off at three AM and messages left by drunken idiots I've only met once or twice.

In short: Strawberry Shortcake and the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak. Smurfy.

Post by **Best First** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 6:44 pm

saysadie wrote:And I've definitely had enough of my mobile going off at three AM and messages left by drunken idiots I've only met once or twice.

yeah, sorry about that.

Ozz · Post by **Ozz** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:04 pm

I am right there with Pissin'. I never was in a relationship and probably never will, mostly due to my inability to pull a bird, as you English people so wonderfully call it. But then again, I don't think I really need to be. Sure I feel sometimes lonely, but that's not the kind of loneliness having a girlfriend would help me with. I mean, David Gilmour's coming to Poland next month. Dave Gilmour! Probably first and only time. And among my friends, there's no one who would like to venture through half the country to go to his gig, and it sure as hell is not as fun to go alone. Maybe that's a bit trivial, but that's really important to me. To have at least one pal who would share my interest in such things. Sure, if that'd be a girl, that'd would be a plus, but that's not really something that would matter.

And my friends, who sometimes go on a "you should really find a girlfriend" rant, are not exactly making me feel like I'm missing something. At least I don't drag them out of their cribs for a brew only to have them see me talking to my gf for half an hour via mobile and then say" Sorry, mate, gotta run".

saysadie wrote:And I've definitely had enough of my mobile going off at three AM and messages left by drunken idiots I've only met once or twice.

Shouldn't have given Myles your number.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:04 pm

After being in a long relationship that has monopolized most of my 20s thus far (I'm 26), I now see the fast approaching brick wall of marriage somewhere in the next decade, and I am experincing a knee jerk reaction of trying to pull as many birds as possible, expanding my selection of fowl to include girls may have more/less weight/intelligence/social awareness than I might have usually, smashing in all my bird pulling now so I don't so something stupid along the line.

Also, I have a firm belief that (and this is a burst of egoism I'm not usually prone to) when any gilrs gets in a relationship with me, I make a great boyfriend, as evidenced by the fact that I've always had to break up with the girl, never the other way around. So, despite the inherant fault, I've developed an aversion to getting to close to someone.

Of course, I COULD go and say, "Oh yay, I'm a good boyfriend," because my personality and chivalry get a chance to shine in monogamy, but INSTEAD I go and say, "God, people just like my personality, I must be an ugly, fat ass." Which leads me back to why I'm aimlessly trying to pull birds.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 11:19 am

Best First wrote:
being single is fun, at least i is once you have got over the situation that made you single in the first place.

Without a doubt.

I have found lately however that I keep fancying girls who are already taken and that it seems all the interesting/beautiful girls are taken!

Damn 'n' Blast.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 11:24 am

The ones you cant have syndrome... I have that.

Thankfully my latest GF Suzzane and I have been together for 6 months and nothing could be better - weve known each other for 10 years which helps but im really happy with her before we got together I was being a total slag, I only have to walk down the road to pull of course