Vandalism

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:38 am

So I just got off of the phone to the police, as yesterday the little ASBOs-waiting-to-happen who hang around outside our house tore down the fence to number 9's garden, smashed up their garden furniture and threw the pieces at our house, smashing in our back door. They also threw a few rocks and my hanging baskets, and set fire to the bunting that we had left up after a garden party on Saturday afternoon.

I'm a bit shaky as to whether involving the police is a good thing, I don't want to escalate the situation and give these unplanned pregnancies any reason to target us (at least more specifically than they already do) but if I don't do something then they'll think they can get away with anything they like. My neighbour suggested that we get hold of one of them (there's 6 or 7 of them, ranging in age from about 8 to 15) and beat the crap out of him as a warning to the others, but I suspect that would land me in even more hot water and the last thing I want is some chav's equally chavvy but much larger father banging at my door. Assuming they know who their father is, of course, chances are even the mother only has a vague idea. I was also perhaps thinking of following a couple of them home to find out where they live, though I suspect that they're from the enormous blocks of flats round the back of our road, so that might not tell me very much...

Anyway, just waiting on the old bill to call me back and see what can be done. Apologies for ranting but I'm extremely angry about this - I'm exceptionally proud of my garden and I put a lot of work into it. If I'd have caught one of the little bastards in the act yesterday I might very well have killed them. The irony of course is that we had an absolutely blinding party on Saturday night, we had just finished cleaning up yesterday and the most damage that was caused was one broken glass and a bit of spilled wood glue on the rug. Now we have a broken door, smashed hanging baskets and burnt bunting all because some ****ing pikeys were bored on Sunday evening.

Post by **snarl** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:54 am

Similar thing happened to me when I was at uni.

One time we prepared for them, chased them and cornered one of the little ***** in an alley nearby. Threatened to kick the **** out of him and went bat **** crazy till he cried.

They stopped for a week or two then one day one of em chucked a rape alarm through the letterbox.

We just shat them up a bit again, they got tired of it. I dont think us doing anything helped, I think they just got bored. My strange housemate had a realistic looking bb gun that helped I think.

These were provincial twats, dont know how a city **** would react to a beasting.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 12:09 pm

Getting hold of them isn't a problem, they'll be back sitting outside my garden smoking weed again tonight, I can guarantee it. And while I do have a coupe of *ahem* weapons in the house, none of them are strictly legal and I really want to avoid the police asking any awkward questions like "This one said you beat him to the ground with the butt of a rifle, is that true?"

Maybe a warning might be in order, like "If you mess with my stuff one more time then one of you will get hurt very badly", then if anything happens I'll pick up a couple of IRA-style balaclavas from the army shop and lie in wait for them.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 12:54 pm

Wait to see what the cops do - if its [composite word including 'f*ck'] all then get some balaclavas on with a few mates, some baseballs bats and tell them to never come around these streets again or you will break thier knee-caps open for fun.

Pissin' Poonani · Post by **Pissin' Poonani** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:21 pm

Could you make anonymous calls to the po-po everytime they're blazing up the Lion of Judah outside your house? Tell 'em you've seen them dealing the bad, bad Leroy Brown to kiddies or something-might make them pick a new spot, if anything.

I feel your pain-I live in quite a nice neighbourhood, but there's a group of little shits who hang about down the road from where I live. They're just lippy, but it's frustrating not being able to do anything about it. I just take comfort in knowing that because I let them get away with it, they'll get more confident and eventually wind up someone who will ******* murder one of them.

Either that or a straight razor to the tendons.

Post by **snarl** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:31 pm

I find in situations like this, spitting at or chucking bottles of hot piss over them always helps.

MV, do it man. Just fling some hot piss in their direction.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:28 pm

snarl wrote:MV, do it man. Just fling some hot piss in their direction.

This I like. Non-harmful, but enough to keep them away. I'll see what the long arm has to say, hopefully that will sort them out, but this idea has a lot of merit

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:39 pm

U said they sit on a wall - put somthing sticky and horrid on the wall...

Tired Tracks · Post by **Tired Tracks** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:45 pm

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:U said they sit on a wall - put somthing sticky and horrid on the wall...

Put up a sign saying 'Degenerates for Sale'

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 3:51 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Maybe a warning might be in order, like "If you mess with my stuff one more time then one of you will get hurt very badly", then if anything happens I'll pick up a couple of IRA-style balaclavas from the army shop and lie in wait for them.

Tell them that Batman lives with you and they'll be in the **** if they upset him.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 3:55 pm

Brendocon wrote:Tell them that Batman lives with you and they'll be in the **** if they upset him.

So does V from off of V for Vendetta these days. In fact, there's a fair few masked vigilantes I could call on

Post by **Best First** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 3:56 pm

as much as i am loathe to recommend violence nd strongly suspect it will solve nothing...

...if you do decide to **** em up can i politely suggest that you and your mates all wear Chuck Norris masks while you do it?

good luck with the polis.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:21 pm

Best First wrote:as much as i am loathe to recommend violence nd strongly suspect it will solve nothing...

See this is pretty much my viewpoint anyway - I want to scare them off, I don't want to risk a spell inside over this, and I'd be gutted if I accidentally seriously injured one of them. Having said that, they have made me very, very angry indeed.

Best First wrote:...if you do decide to **** em up can i politely suggest that you and your mates all wear Chuck Norris masks while you do it?

Oh hell yeah. I even have a source where I can get hold of those

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:30 pm

I wonder if you can change the area they go to - alter the enviroment. I mean somthing brings them there becauses its a nice place to go and smoke weed or somthing - if it was suddenly a **** place to go I bet they would move on. Obviously u would need your neighbours help and agreement but its a less violent approach...

Post by **Best First** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:45 pm

i gues you could go ther other way and try some stuff like engaging them or trying to provide more for 'youths' to do in the local community, although i guess thats a) mor elong term and b) requires a lot of effort and c) a bit of an uphill battle.

You could also remove everyone's brains and out them in new Cybernetic bodies with all their emotions removed and then we wouldn't have this problem.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:25 pm

Introduce them to religon.

sidestreaker · Post by **sidestreaker** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:31 pm

Introduce them to religon.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:39 am

Okay, I talked to our local community police and my neighbours (the little bastards were back starting fires yesterday) and essentially it runs like this.

1. We take photos of them doing bad stuff. We email these to the police, or alternatively we call the local bobbies on their mobile number.

2. The police give them a damn good ticking off, and threaten them with an ASBC. This is where we're at right now - essentially, first strike. If it happens again they get placed under an ASBC.

3. If they do anything to breach the terms of the ASBC (anti-social behaviour, criminal damage etc) then their parents get evicted from their council flat and placed on the "voluntarily homeless" list, meaning that they can't re-apply for housing within 18 months of being evicted. That's a hell of an incentive to behave.

Result. All of my neighbours now have Old Bill on speed dial and next door have already emailled them photos of the chavs in action. It won't be long now at all.

Post by **Best First** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:12 pm

ooh - good updateage.

hope it all works out.

This is the law. yeah yeah yeah.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:17 pm

Correction - this is the law.

Post by **Best First** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:21 pm

i concede on that point.

look, i'm doing it now:

whu-pah.

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:25 pm

good stuff rob

Good to know the old bill actually did/are doing something about it.

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:31 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Okay, I talked to our local community police and my neighbours (the little bastards were back starting fires yesterday) and essentially it runs like this.

1. We take photos of them doing bad stuff. We email these to the police, or alternatively we call the local bobbies on their mobile number.

2. The police give them a damn good ticking off, and threaten them with an ASBC. This is where we're at right now - essentially, first strike. If it happens again they get placed under an ASBC.

3. If they do anything to breach the terms of the ASBC (anti-social behaviour, criminal damage etc) then their parents get evicted from their council flat and placed on the "voluntarily homeless" list, meaning that they can't re-apply for housing within 18 months of being evicted. That's a hell of an incentive to behave.

Result. All of my neighbours now have Old Bill on speed dial and next door have already emailled them photos of the chavs in action. It won't be long now at all.

Yees, yes, good good.

Brilliant, Sir, a cheer stroke of brilliance.

MV: "All right you scum! Let me hear you say it!"

Chavs, pikeys, and other forms of scum: "YOU ARE THE LAW JUDGE EmmVee!!"

MV: "Damn right, and don't you forget it."

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:59 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:good stuff rob Good to know the old bill actually did/are doing something about it.

They were really great, although I think I inadvertently convinced them I was gay

When they came round, me and Mrs. V were, um, cavorting, so I answered the door in just a towel. I went and got changed, then we had a chat and they left. I stepped out into the garden for a cig and started chatting to my neighbour Rob, who was doing some work in his laptop, wearing only a pair of shorts. There was a knock at his door, and he looked over the fence to see the police. I got the door for him (we have a gap in the fence so we can pass between the gardens, much to the confusion of the two police who had just left my house to be greeted by me again) and explain that Rob will be down in a minute, he's upstairs putting some clothes on...

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:19 pm

haha - I must admit when I was naughty vandal once I had a female officer come round to give me a ticking off and we eneded up having a right dirty conversation, got off with a warning...

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:41 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:
Karl Lynch wrote:good stuff rob Good to know the old bill actually did/are doing something about it.
They were really great, although I think I inadvertently convinced them I was gay When they came round, me and Mrs. V were, um, cavorting, so I answered the door in just a towel. I went and got changed, then we had a chat and they left. I stepped out into the garden for a cig and started chatting to my neighbour Rob, who was doing some work in his laptop, wearing only a pair of shorts. There was a knock at his door, and he looked over the fence to see the police. I got the door for him (we have a gap in the fence so we can pass between the gardens, much to the confusion of the two police who had just left my house to be greeted by me again) and explain that Rob will be down in a minute, he's upstairs putting some clothes on...

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 2:32 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:
Karl Lynch wrote:good stuff rob Good to know the old bill actually did/are doing something about it.
They were really great, although I think I inadvertently convinced them I was gay When they came round, me and Mrs. V were, um, cavorting, so I answered the door in just a towel. I went and got changed, then we had a chat and they left. I stepped out into the garden for a cig and started chatting to my neighbour Rob, who was doing some work in his laptop, wearing only a pair of shorts. There was a knock at his door, and he looked over the fence to see the police. I got the door for him (we have a gap in the fence so we can pass between the gardens, much to the confusion of the two police who had just left my house to be greeted by me again) and explain that Rob will be down in a minute, he's upstairs putting some clothes on...

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do even you believe you're not gay anymore?

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 3:09 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do even you believe you're not gay anymore?

Empirically, the evidence is stacked against me, I have to admit.

Then again, I'm pretty sure one of coppers was good with colours too, he probably wasn't surprised in the least.

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 3:26 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:
Karl Lynch wrote:I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do even you believe you're not gay anymore?
Empirically, the evidence is stacked against me, I have to admit.

I have the photos