Right, so, you're God. What do you do?

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:06 pm

If I were God, I'd probably adopt a non-intervention policy.

I mean yeah, it's all good and well helping out all the needy, but what if it works to the detriment of somebody else? "We will win this war because God is on our side!" Yeah, okay, actually... not really. Actually agree with the other lot. No, stop praying at me - they're right, you're an idiot... oi! Enough with the killing in my name, I only endorsed you because you asked... this wasn't part of the deal!

And where do you draw the line? Before you know it, you're answering the prayers of every schmuck who says "Oh, God, if you really do exist, make me win this lottery draw!" - I mean, sure, if it grabs me another true believer, but there'd be like a million winners per draw. A 50p win's hardly gonna reaffirm your faith, is it?

And yeah, I could make you roll a six, but what's in it for me? Where's the drama? The thrill of not knowing what's coming next? Why watch television if you control absolutely everything? Talk about boring.

No, I'd just keep my nose out of it and let things happen. So what if it causes wars and turmoil and stuff as people bicker over whether I exist or not... and if so, what form I take. At least I'd have something to watch of an evening.

What about you?

Post by **Kaylee** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:11 pm

Somebody's been watching Bruce Almighty

Depends on the sort of God. If it were the omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient variety of the Judeo-Christian tradition I'd probably go mad just trying to get my head around some of the totally nonsensical and impossible concepts and questions involved (as very nicely illustrated by Scott Adams in God's Debris).

If it were a more (to my mind) interesting God like Herne the Hunter or some variety of time-travelling vampire then I'd probably around having adventures, righting wrongs (when it suited my purposes and was reasonably convenient) and generally just enjoying having more powers/importance than the average bear.

Yar, shallow I know, but the idea of an all-powerful God is just too mind-bendingly nonsensical to contemplate and if you're going to leave the field open for 'lesser' Gods then I'd probably be the sort of trouble-making variety who you'd need to entice into your quest with promises of sacrifices but would end up fighting on your side in some huge Tolkein-esque battle!

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:17 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:Somebody's been watching Bruce Almighty

Actually no... that didn't even cross my mind! Fallout from a discussion at TFA that included the line "If there is a God, [X] player will sign for [Y] football club." Which I thought was silly...

and if you're going to leave the field open for 'lesser' Gods

Heck, I find the whole issue of how people interpret the question (as the term itself is fairly subjective) just as fascinating as the answers.

Post by **Kaylee** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:18 pm

sweeeet! so in that case I'd be a lesser God time-travelling vampire

squee for me!

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:27 pm

I'd destroy all the religious people, obviously, 'cause none of them will ver get it right and until then they're just doing bad stuff in my name.

[edit] Oh yeah, and women. This time I get all the women.

Aaron Hong · Post by **Aaron Hong** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:27 pm

Hand out bust enlargements...

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 4:22 pm

I'd make impy a moderator.

Pissin' Poonani · Post by **Pissin' Poonani** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 4:26 pm

I'd nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 5:46 pm

Stormwolf · Post by **Stormwolf** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 7:30 pm

I'd set up some new commandments:

1. Thou shalt drink beer or other alcoholic beverages
2. It's OK to steal from big companies
3. Don't swear too much infront of children, though swearing after getting cut off in trafic is alright
4. Thou shalt not become a religious nutbar
5. Don't persecute people for having a different sexual orientation
6. Xaaron > Alpha Trion
7. Have as much sex as you want with as many people as you like
8. Don't have your entire life dictated by a book
9. Forcing a religion onto people is plain wrong
10. Don't bother praying for lottery numbers, it never works

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:00 pm

I'd be a horrible god.

Someone gets on my nerves and bam, they're cleaning toilets in Hell for eternity... or until they've stopped being annoying to me, whichever. I'd so totally use it at times for my own purposes.

I'd probably also try to adopt a similar policy of non-intervention... but also somehow find a way to get rid of religion without making it overly obvious that there's someone doing so. I don't need people kissing my ass just to get something... can't stand people like that RL, wouldn't be able to take it as some sort of "god"...

... Trying to answer this question feels funny given that I have absolutely no belief in any form of higher being...

Post by **Best First** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:15 pm

I'd realise i had been superceded by my creations and assume the form of one of them:

Batman > God.

Obfleur · Post by **Obfleur** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:57 pm

Holy hell, why didn't I think of that.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:05 pm

I'm not going to kill you. I want you to tell all your friends about me.

I'm God.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Thu Jun 29, 2006 11:47 pm

I'd cure STDs and seperate sex from love once and for all.

And if I had time and nothing was good on the telly, I'd get around to that whole world peace end poverty thing.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 12:58 am

Pissin' Poonani wrote:I'd nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Somebody has been watching "Clerks, the Animated Series"

And whats with all this "What If" Stuff?

Post by **Best First** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:36 am

Optimus Prime Rib wrote:
Pissin' Poonani wrote:I'd nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Somebody has been watching "Clerks, the Animated Series"

er... or Aliens?

Ali-hens Histor? I said hens. I hate hens.

Optimus Prime Rib · Post by **Optimus Prime Rib** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 10:20 am

Clerks the Animated Series is far superior to Ali-hens

Pissin' Poonani · Post by **Pissin' Poonani** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:20 am

Much as I like Clerks, I've yet to see an episode of the cartoon.

Besty wins-flawless victory.

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 1:16 pm

I love "Clerks: The Animated Series"

Two for two.

I had a dream I was God awhile ago. I don't remember what I did. I think I'd make Ben & Jerry's taste the same, but burn more calories than rugby. There was a Fantastic Four about that. Oh yeah, I'd make all the Marvel superheroes real. And then see if there was ever a crime committed again in New York. It'd be like a police state.

I'd also make it so OPR wins the argument.

Post by **Best First** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 2:12 pm

sprunkner wrote:
I'd also make it so OPR wins the argument.

Even God isn't that powerful.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:57 pm

make me a mod - oh yeah, there is no god.

hahaha, im funny no?