Stupid Religious People Topic #644

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 5:09 pm

http://www.wgal.com/news/8691905/detail.html#

The Last Autobot · Post by **The Last Autobot** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:35 pm

So? If they want to re enact the act, let them. It s their life after all.

Scraplet · Post by **Scraplet** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:39 pm

After eating all your Easter eggs, you'd think getting nailed to a chunk of wood might make you feel a bit queasy, or something....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 11:07 pm

They probably think being nailed to a cross means they've earned their eggs.

Post by **Kaylee** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 11:28 pm

So how many eggs did Jesus get when he was crucified? Must have been quite a few, I mean s'not like God can't afford it. Dang lucky Jesus and his excess of Easter Eggs

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 11:33 pm

Karl Lynch wrote:So how many eggs did Jesus get when he was crucified? Must have been quite a few, I mean s'not like God can't afford it. Dang lucky Jesus and his excess of Easter Eggs

The guy got so many, he spent all Easter Bank Holiday Weekend in a cave eating 'em.

He didn't even share any with his so-called inner circle of friends, either.

How selfish is that!

Scraplet · Post by **Scraplet** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:38 am

Rebis wrote: How selfish is that!

Someone should remind this JC bloke about the true meaning of easter....

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:59 am

The Last Autobot wrote:So? If they want to re enact the act, let them. It s their life after all.

I'd remind you that people, throughout the vast majority of the world, are not allowed to smoke pot because it's supposedly harmful to themselves. Apparently though, nailing yourself to a cross is less so.

Gekigengar · Post by **Gekigengar** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 1:19 am

The Last Autobot wrote:So? If they want to re enact the act, let them. It s their life after all.

Thank you.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:18 am

Gekigengar wrote:
The Last Autobot wrote:So? If they want to re enact the act, let them. It s their life after all.
Thank you.

You can do what you like, but that doesn't mean that people like me can't call it bloody stupid. I don't think they shouldn't be allowed to do it; I would like to think that people have a bit more sense than to want to.

The Last Autobot · Post by **The Last Autobot** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:17 am

Professor Smooth wrote:
Gekigengar wrote:
The Last Autobot wrote:So? If they want to re enact the act, let them. It s their life after all.
Thank you.
You can do what you like, but that doesn't mean that people like me can't call it bloody stupid. I don't think they shouldn't be allowed to do it; I would like to think that people have a bit more sense than to want to.

Yeah its your call, as fair as theirs to do those things. Otherwise in the "they shouldn't be allowed to do it" you would end in the same million times argument that you argue of people telling YOU what to do.

I would like to think that people have a bit more sense than to want to

You overstimate the human race.

Jojojo

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:06 am

These people are nailing themselves to crosses. If ever there were people who deserve to be made fun of for what they choose to do, it's these guys.

They're welcome to do it. People should definately be allowed to hurt themselves if they want.

Beyond murder, rape, abuse, and theft, I think that people should be allowed to do pretty much anything they want. This includes, of course, making fun of people who do goofy ****.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:41 am

Professor Smooth wrote:I'd remind you that people, throughout the vast majority of the world, are not allowed to smoke pot because it's supposedly harmful to themselves. Apparently though, nailing yourself to a cross is less so.

You'll never get the last nail in, it's impossible. [/Neil]

[edit] Actually that's a point, if you can't crucify yourself, you'd have to get someone to help you. In the UK the accomplice would be charged with ABH at the least, even if it was consensual.*

*Not to get too deep into the subject but some hardcore S&Mers were charged with precisely that because they used to like to nail each others' penises to bits of wood.

Post by **Kaylee** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:05 am

Scraplet wrote:
Rebis wrote: How selfish is that!
Someone should remind this JC bloke about the true meaning of easter....

inflatable dalek · Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:57 pm

Doesn't Jesus post here if I recall correctly?

Perhaps he can give us his thoughts on this...

Post by **Kaylee** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:10 pm

maybe he'll even share some easter eggs

he should really read up on that guy in the bible... whatshisname... mumbly joe?

BB Shockwave · Post by **BB Shockwave** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:53 am

I spotted here's no argument .... at the moment. But having watched the bloody histories of threads like this, I'd like to present Shortpacked's "Internet-Argument Losing BIngo"! The ultimate solution!

http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20060405.html

Note "Freedom of speech". Gets used here quite often...

Post by **Kaylee** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:58 am

BB Shockwave wrote:I spotted here's no argument .... at the moment. But having watched the bloody histories of threads like this, I'd like to present Shortpacked's "Internet-Argument Losing BIngo"! The ultimate solution!

http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20060405.html

Note "Freedom of speech". Gets used here quite often...

Wouldn't a better card be some sort of court-order banning Smooth from posting any new topics?

;);)

BB Shockwave · Post by **BB Shockwave** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:11 am

I have thought - let's make sub-forum in General discussion for these threads!

Stormwolf · Post by **Stormwolf** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:57 am

Metal Vendetta wrote:You'll never get the last nail in, it's impossible. [/Neil]

Yes you can, here's you do it:

1. You nail your feet in first
2. You put nails through both your hands
3. You put rocks or other heavy objects into your hands and slam them as hard as possible into the wood (with the nails pointing towards the wood)
4. You hang there till you die, hey you wanted to do things alone

Maybe I should write a complete guide for religious people, I'm still thinking about a title, how about:

"Self mutilation techniques for superstitious idiots"

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:12 pm

Stormwolf wrote:
Metal Vendetta wrote:You'll never get the last nail in, it's impossible. [/Neil]
Yes you can, here's you do it:

1. You nail your feet in first
2. You put nails through both your hands
3. You put rocks or other heavy objects into your hands and slam them as hard as possible into the wood (with the nails pointing towards the wood)
4. You hang there till you die, hey you wanted to do things alone

Maybe I should write a complete guide for religious people, I'm still thinking about a title, how about:

"Self mutilation techniques for superstitious idiots"

It all goes a bit hypothetical after Step 2, tho, and Step 2 itself is a bit on the difficult side anyway.

How do you propose putting the last nail in? When putting a nail through your hand renders it unable to be used for grasping. You think the guy in the picture has his nailed hand outstretched for visual effect? No. It's because he's unable to move any of his fingers more than minute amounts.

You ever played that game where you place your hand face down, with your middle finger curled underneath, and you have to lift each finger in turn, but are unable to lift your ring finger due to the middle finger's position locking it? Same principle when nailing hands, only all your fingers get locked.

Stormwolf · Post by **Stormwolf** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:13 pm

Rebis wrote:
Stormwolf wrote:
Metal Vendetta wrote:You'll never get the last nail in, it's impossible. [/Neil]
Yes you can, here's you do it:

1. You nail your feet in first
2. You put nails through both your hands
3. You put rocks or other heavy objects into your hands and slam them as hard as possible into the wood (with the nails pointing towards the wood)
4. You hang there till you die, hey you wanted to do things alone

Maybe I should write a complete guide for religious people, I'm still thinking about a title, how about:

"Self mutilation techniques for superstitious idiots"
It all goes a bit hypothetical after Step 2, tho, and Step 2 itself is a bit on the difficult side anyway.

How do you propose putting the last nail in? When putting a nail through your hand renders it unable to be used for grasping. You think the guy in the picture has his nailed hand outstretched for visual effect? No. It's because he's unable to move any of his fingers more than minute amounts.

You ever played that game where you place your hand face down, with your middle finger curled underneath, and you have to lift each finger in turn, but are unable to lift your ring finger due to the middle finger's position locking it? Same principle when nailing hands, only all your fingers get locked.

Or you could create a contraption with nail guns that shoots nails at the left and right side of the cross, you'd only need to stay still.

Though it might need some kind of a timer to work.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:00 am

Just so we're clear, there's nobody debating that people offering to be nailed to crosses aren't ****** in the head, right?

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:16 am

Well its pointless, but if they want to do it, let em.

Professor Smooth · Post by **Professor Smooth** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:17 am

Impactor returns 2.0 wrote:Well its pointless, but if they want to do it, let em.

By all means, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't have the piss taken out of 'em.

Much like LARP-ers!

sprunkner · Post by **sprunkner** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:21 am

What is the sound of one hand driving a nail into itself?

Scraplet · Post by **Scraplet** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 11:52 am

Professor Smooth wrote:Just so we're clear, there's nobody debating that people offering to be nailed to crosses aren't ****** in the head, right?

They could just have sadomasicistic tendencies. Normally, they would (I assume) have to feel guilty about this in the eyes of their god. Once a year they can get their rocks off and feel pious. Everyones a winner!

Post by **Best First** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:53 pm

i'd reply to this topic, but typing still hurts after what i did to my hands at the weekend...

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:56 pm

Use moisturiser and go slower

Post by **Best First** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:01 pm

dman you, you have subverted my joke with your better joke.