Stupid booze!

[Pissin' Poonani]

This topic is inspired by my lame and mildly frustrating visit to the pub last night.

It's not an earth shattering tale by any means-I was sat at home having a drink and watching a movie, when around 10pm I thought I'd take a wander up the pub.

I normally avoid the pub because:

a)It's a little village pub and not much goes on.

b)Saturdays is band night, and I don't particularly enjoy trying to scream a conversation over the top of whichever group of 40 year old wannabe rockers in leather waistcoats are playing 'Mustang Sally' that night.

c)My OCD likes to torment me the following morning by making me worry about whether I acted like a complete wanker or not.

Anyway, I get up there, yank the door open and head straight for the end of the bar, completely ignoring the band. I get a beer, chat to a couple of people and it's then that I realise something quite earth shattering for my little local-the band has a female singer. Ok, that in itself isn't unusual, but in a departure from the norm she's my age and gorgeous. I'm willing to admit that the beer goggles may have been playing their part, but if memory serves me correctly, this woman was Eliza Dushku with a guitar.

To cut this long story short, I'd managed to get myself to that point of drunkeness where I was aware that I would probably make a fool of myself, but wasn't drunk enough to not care and at least just try to strike up a conversation with her. Instead I just sat there silently kicking myself whilst talking to my friends. Ok, not particularly interesting but I always seem to analyse everything instead of just going for it, and it's bloody annoying. You'd think that booze would loosen me up a bit, but nooooooo-not this blokey.

Anyway-anybody similar? The complete opposite? Got any funny/sad/hideous drunk stories you want to share?

[Predabot]

I've never gotten drunk, so as a result I've never dared to up and talk to any girls in a bar, even tho some of my mates have tried time and time again to cheer me on.

So there's your story. Some are in an even worse situation.

On the one hand it means that one can always see things from a cheerier perspective.

[Obfleur]

Look up the bands name, and see if they are gonna play their (or some other local pub) in the near future?
If they are: throw some underwear, with your phone number written on them, at the stage... or just try and talk to her.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a club and doing my whole Prince dance thing (yes, I am that awesome... at least in my head).
Two girls there thought I was a funny bloke and asked me to dance with them.
"Sure thing" I said.
One of the girls tried to "chat me up": she said that I was really funny, she touched my hair, etc.
I just noded and said "thank you" (so as to not encourage her).
Then she said "I'm single " and I said "Oh okey. I am just here to have fun though" (thus rejecting her).
A couple of minutes later she started rubbing her ass on my cock - I got irritated and said some really nasty stuff to her.
She got ******* pissed off and went over to her friend to whine.
I on the other hand started telling my mate what I had just done. I was laughing and pointing at the girl - and at that moment the girl and her friend turn around... and saw me standing laughing and pointing at them.
She got even more pissed off then.

[Pissin' Poonani]

Ob my friend, you are awesome.

I don't even know if this girl is single or not-I was just pissed that on the rare occassion a legitimately hot lady was at my pub, I became my own worst enemy.

[Denyer]

I've never gotten drunk, so as a result I've never dared to up and talk to any girls in a bar

The second doesn't depend on the first.

[Predabot]

The second doesn't depend on the first.

Yes it does.

Or do you want to transplant some man-hood?

[saysadie]

The second doesn't depend on the first.

Yes it does.

No it don't...

Anyway-anybody similar? The complete opposite? Got any funny/sad/hideous drunk stories you want to share?

"I would tell you about the things they put me through,
The pain I've been subjected to
But the Lord himself would blush
The countless feasts laid at my feet,
Forbidden fruits for me to eat
But I think your pulse would start to rush..."

Well stupid in that I've caught rides home with complete freaks who expected me to accompany them elsewhere, going with friends when they decided to catch rides home with freaks expecting them/us to accompany them elsewhere and stufflike... not exactly funny, but definitely stupid. I'm quite proud of my ability to get rid of such idiots though.

Oh, there was a guy who nabbed me early on when I went to this place I never go to usually... he seemed normal enough, we danced and all. Then he bought me a couple of drinks [he bought his buddies doubles, and did the same for me as well], and then while we were waiting for the drinks, decided to quiz me on whether or not I'd like to have kids "if I found the right guy" and stufflike. I'd only known the guy about... thirty, forty minutes at this point, and he was really laying himself on thick, too. I was like "Yikes!"

I avoided the questions long enough to grab a drink and take off... just as I was finishing telling my friends of the horror, he found me again. Due to the fact that one of the chicks I was with was incredibly drunk and horny and had a thing for his friend [and the fact that he'd brought my other drink over] it took forever to get away from them. Was good for a week's worth of teasing/laughs.

Then there was the time that my friend and I were on the way to the club... we were just jokingly discussing the fact that it seems that every time I fall on my ass, the night/following weekend turns out great [happened twice. I like stumbling out of vehicles]. We were a block away when, boom- I slipped on a patch of ice and pitched forward. My friend was a little bit in front of me... and when I fell, her hand was swinging backward so in addition to falling, I also got smacked a good one in the forehead.

It hurt worse than the actual falling did.

Oh, and I broke my glasses a couple months back while out and about, too. Lost a lens, even. Though I don't quite remember how.

Don't matter, I'm getting contacts anyway.

[Best First]

Anyway-anybody similar?

yep.

[Legion]

Or do you want to transplant some man-hood?

run denyer, run!!

[spiderfrommars]

Got any hideous drunk stories you want to share?

Well on Friday I went to bed with Keira Knightley and woke up with Kathy Bates.

There was also this time when a girl jumped on me for a piggyback and I dropped her on her face, knocking all her front teeth out.

Big piss up this Friday. Yay!

Talking of which.... transfest?

[Best First]

ooer.

the yer is creeping on innit.

script...

script...

[saysadie]

Well on Friday I went to bed with Keira Knightley and woke up with Kathy Bates.

Oooooooooooohhhh...

C'mon... there's how many people on this forum, and only about four of us have ponied up some drunk stories?

I feel like such a grandstanding pathetic lush now. You all make me sad.

[Optimus Prime Rib]

Well on Friday I went to bed with Keira Knightley and woke up with Kathy Bates.

Oooooooooooohhhh...

C'mon... there's how many people on this forum, and only about four of us have ponied up some drunk stories?

I feel like such a grandstanding pathetic lush now. You all make me sad.

http://www.transfans.net/phpBB2/viewtop ... bear#73465

I believe I have posted a great drunk story

[snarl]

My drunk stories are all really bad.