Why cant you quit your job, and let your wife continue being a pharmacist (if you get a baby that is)?
But would you be prepared to quit your work to raise your children?
How can you ask something like that of her?! And she actually agreed to this? Are you really sure or are you making a joke? Do you really believe all this what you are saying?
Only a fool doesn't discuss family expectations
before they get married. I don't quit my job because I don't
want to. Like I said, my expectations for how things would work were made perfectly clear before I entered the marriage contract. Which is what marriage is, a contract. As with all contracts, how it will work should be clearly spelled out, either tacitly or in writing, before one gets married. The problem arises when suddenly, a husband or wife break that contract. My wife agreed to quit her job should we have kids. I never
forced her to make such a decision. After I made such stipulations, the choice to marry me was hers to make. I don't believe in forcing anyone to do anything for my sake.
In my opinion, children need both of their parents, not just one who is home all the time and one they see when he/she feels like it.
I think society should encourage fathers to play a much more active role as father/housekeeper/etc.
Well said. I couldn't agree more. Its hard to raise children right when neither parent is around. I would never marry a women who is career oriented. That's just my choice. Nor would I choose to be a standoffish father. That would not be something acceptable as a parent. I know how important it is for someone to be there, whether it is a mother or father. Like I said, my problem is with those women who act out of selfishness, out a desire to prove to themselves that they are as competent in professional achievement as any man.
Can fathers be as good parents as mothers? Sure. But the fact that on average children are closer to their mothers than fathers has much to do with the physical bond they share during conception, pregnancy, and lactation and the 'motherly instincts' that facilitate such behavior. There is more than just nutrition that is supplied by a lactating mother with a child. There is a special bond that takes place and grows, something thats makes us run to our mothers when we have no where to turn. Look at that criminal O.J. Simpson, for example. Huge mother ******, made a living crushing people, but who does he run to when the cops come running? He runs to mommy. (This doesn't prove a point, but its interesting to think about.)
Sorry Yaya, but you just sound like the alpha male in a crap American sitcom: "I ain't givin' up mah job to look after children, that's woman's work!"
You couldn't be more wrong there. I have never belittled the sanctity of raising children. Yes, sanctity. For as I said, child rearing is more important than anything I could ever achieve at work, and I am a ophthalmologist. I treat the blind, help them to see. Despite this, I will say without hesitency that no matter what I achieve professionally in the workplace, it doesn't hold a candle to the mothers of the world who sacrifice their time and energy to bring good children into the world, to ensure they are properly guided and cared for. I am of the opinion that a good mother cannot be replaced.
So that alpha male stuff is crap. You imply that I look down on women for the homemaking and childrearing they do. You got me wrong. There is no more precious a gift in all the world than a mother who looks after her children with her very best effort. I am a product of such an effort. An effort I can never repay. I could always pay my father back the money he used to raise me. But the sacrifice and sheer energy and time my mother used to raise me? No way.
so if both of them want to go to work even if they have kids then it is an issue between them how the kids are reared and gender should in no way presuppose the answer.
If both work when they don't have to, and they have kids, I don't see it as just an issue between them. Children have rights too. If both parents don't have to work but choose to do so and leave their children at home to be self raised by television or some twisted f**k nanny, then I see it as a crime, even if they agreed to this before marriage. Children have the
right to adequate parental attention.
Working with ill people, you're far more likely to get a depressing slice of life in conversation with them. Actually, the prevalence of elderly who are depressed -- kids or no kids -- you're likely to get a depressing slice of life conversation anyway.
Granted, the illness itself is a large part of many patients depression, but so are regrets as they approach the endstages of their lives.
That's the urge to f*ck, not reproduce.
So you are going to debate that the urge to [composite word including 'f*ck'] has nothing to do with preservation and procreation of the species? I would have that you would have felt otherwise. Interesting.