From the dredges of the Internet.....

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 5:58 am

The next big fashion craze, forehead inflation!

This guy has uncovered the REAL problem of human suffering....horses!

Strangely hypnotic, this is.

And finally, bong art!

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:01 pm

Shanti418 wrote:The next big fashion craze, forehead inflation!

Real Klingons!

Shanti418 wrote:This guy has uncovered the REAL problem of human suffering....horses!

Bookmarked to read later!

Shanti418 wrote:Strangely hypnotic, this is.

I think Aaron already put this one up.

Why don't I ever find stuff like this?

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:24 pm

Shanti418 wrote:This guy has uncovered the REAL problem of human suffering....horses!

Awesome site! I really ******* hate horses too. I hate them so much. I also hate people who own or ride them.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:28 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:I also hate people who own or ride them.

More money than sense.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:42 pm

Autobloke wrote:
Metal Vendetta wrote:I also hate people who own or ride them.
More money than sense.

And they are incredibly dangerous. Would you let a 9 year-old girl drive a Mini Cooper? And bear in mind that a Mini is a predictable machine, it only does what you tell it. Horses are bigger, heavier and have minds of their own - insane horsey minds - and every time I drive round to see my friend, I get stuck behind five or six of these tiny little girls riding great big horses down the street. Is it just me, or is that ******* stupid? What if the horses get rattled and bolted straight in front of my car? Or decides it wants to kick my windscreen in? How's a little girl supposed to control a great muscular animal about 10 times her size? And who cleans up all the horse**** anyway?

Man, if it were up to me, horses would live in a few fields miles away from anywhere and no-one would be allowed to ride them. Or even look at them. That's after I've rounded up dog-owner in the UK, gone round to their house and crapped all over the carpet. And then rubbed their brand new ******* trainers that they only just bought that ******* morning in the crap. And then walked all over their housein their brand new perfect black-and-white Adidas with the now-brown-stained new white soles, spreading filthy crap everywhere. Then I'd shoot their dog, leave, and wish them a better life in future.

Damn, I'm venting. I hate dogs. Have you seen that movie Dog Soldiers? "I can't shoot a dog for no reason, sir." What a ****. There's a reason. It's a dog. Shoot the bloody thing before it breeds.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:59 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Damn, I'm venting. I hate dogs. Have you seen that movie Dog Soldiers? "I can't shoot a dog for no reason, sir." What a ****. There's a reason. It's a dog. Shoot the bloody thing before it breeds.

I love dogs - and always clear up any doggy dumps mine produces.
How could you not love this?:

Or this?:

And she can't breed 'cos we had her 'done'.

Horses are okay, but not when they're out on MY road or being ridden by those that can't honestly control them.
And if you like dogs being shot, watch the movie 'Equilibrium' - they kill loads of them. With machine guns.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:14 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:I also hate people who own or ride them.

You've just reminded me... I didn't get to the post office before it shut on the Saturday the hunting ban came into place, because traffic was stuck thanks to a hunting party riding through town all defiant-like. They waved at us, I did not wave back. Anyway, nearly half of the riders were fat little girls.

By the way, horse poo is good, dog poo is very bad.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:30 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:By the way, horse poo is good, dog poo is very bad.

No-one is dumb enough not to see a huge pile of horse crap.

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:48 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:By the way, horse poo is good, dog poo is very bad.

This I know - I've started growing roses.

Autobloke - you may well be a resoponsible dog owner but I've never met a dog I liked. And after scrubbing my carpet and trainers with bleach and an old toothbrush I'll shoot them myself. sorry.

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:06 pm

I don't need to hate dogs, they hate me.

Post by **Denyer** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:36 pm

Same as people, some are good, some are utter bastards... dogs tend to be more loyal, though.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:48 pm

Dogs are rubbish.

The only open-mouthed incessently-panting dumb-yet-loyal animal I want near my crotch should also have big tits.

Yes, I am Poppa S in disguise.

If I were to stand in my garden shouting abuse at passers by, I'd be done for breach of the peace. But if I were to kick the **** out a dog for doing this same thing, I'd be done for cruelty to animals.

Cats are good. They don't need a person to accompany them to the toilet, plus they have the common decency to dig a hole and cover it up again.

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:07 pm

I love dogs and cats. *Senses joke pending* I love most animals. *Likewise* Heck, I had the same dog and two cats growing up side by side for up until a few years ago. They all died in the same year.

Regardless, I'll never have pets again. The lack of catshit smell eminating from the "needs constant maintenence" litter box, the missing discolorations from piss and **** stains leftover from "that night or day the animal just couldn't hold it" or "up and decided not to try" that you had to scrub for hours and still never quite got out, the shredded furniture and wallpaper not being present due to lack of claw-sharpening felines, the intact shoes in the closet with no chew or gnaw marks, the missing pet food expense, and the absence of pet hair all over every single thing in the ******* house works fine by me.

I was going to make a Ren & Stimpy joke about one of the products they used to advertize, but somehow the statement of "Guess if my son ever needs a little friend I'll just have to get him a Log," didn't sound right. Not right at all.

Now excuse me, I appear to have child protective services tapping me on the shoulder...

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:25 pm

Autobloke wrote:And if you like dogs being shot, watch the movie 'Equilibrium' - they kill loads of them. With machine guns.

Thanks for the tip, I'll look out for that

Post by **Denyer** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 5:48 pm

Brendocon wrote:The only open-mouthed incessently-panting dumb-yet-loyal animal I want near my crotch should also have big tits.

Get one with a partner who feels the same way and the dog would... or is it cats that own people?

Brendocon wrote:If I were to stand in my garden shouting abuse at passers by, I'd be done for breach of the peace. But if I were to kick the **** out a dog for doing this same thing, I'd be done for cruelty to animals.

Yesss... dogs are covered by noise abatement and other legislation, as with people. People don't get license to kick the sh*t out of others because they don't like what they say. Unless they can pass it off as law enforcement, which you'd probably struggle with...

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:01 pm

Denyer wrote:or is it cats that own people?

Cats establish a mutually beneficial relationship with the human of their choice; whereby the feline gets a steady supply of food along with shelter, whilst the human gets the benefit of enjoying the cat's company whenever the said animal so desires it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:29 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:I also hate people who own or ride them.

Cowboys?

Knights?

Mounties?

Jockeys?

Ah. Royals.

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 2:35 am

I love dogs (er... the bigger working breeds. Dislike most of the smaller breeds, except the odd one or two individuals. Nasty little nippy/yappy things, ack). They're like kids, though. Require a bit of thought, understanding and responsibility. I like cats, they're fairly easy to take care of and I have a definite fondness for Clydesdales/draft horses.

I've grown up with/around a lot of animals and some of my better memories involve pets.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:36 am

Geez, I come back on here, all pumped that everyone's replied to my topic, and everything's gone to the dogs.

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 10:07 pm

Sorry about that Shant - wasn't me this time.

...

...
I won't be getting any more pets when all the ones I've got kark it. For all the reasons SC mentions.

Kup_1 · Post by **Kup_1** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:56 am

I love my cats. I have Maine Coons, you know, the real big ones:

he weighs about 35 lbs now.

Impactor returns 2.0 · Post by **Impactor returns 2.0** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 10:46 am

I hate everyting (including horses) except cats -because cats are lil [composite word including 'f*ck'], i like [composite word including 'f*ck']...

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 12:41 pm

spiderfrommars wrote:By the way, horse poo is good, dog poo is very bad.

This I know - I've started growing roses.

Autobloke - you may well be a resoponsible dog owner but I've never met a dog I liked. And after scrubbing my carpet and trainers with bleach and an old toothbrush I'll shoot them myself. sorry.

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 1:33 pm

... a white hole?

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 2:01 pm

What? I didn't post that...

Oh hang on, maybe I did. I logged on to the site with my pda at lunchtime, it must have resubmitted my post. Weird.

Cats are ok. I probably wouldn't keep one though.

Shanti418 · Post by **Shanti418** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 6:48 pm

Well, now that my "Weird Internet Site" thread has gone from "I love/hate dogs" to "I love/hate cats," at least my Pebbles and Eric can get into the action.

PS - G2 Megatron is by way of Karl Lynch. Wherever you are, we miss you!

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 7:54 pm

Me love cats - owned loads in the past - just got two now. One looks like Shanti418's black one and hates EVERYTHING, and the other is a rescue cat that had its head kicked in by a previous owner and has a wonky face now. She's scared of EVERYTHING.
Example:
Timid cat: "Arrgh! Cat litter!"
Timid cat (two seconds later): "Arrgh! Something NOT cat litter!"

I don't have any pics of my cats to hand, but the timid one's lovely.

And isn't Karly in America, or something?

(vaguely remembers him asking about booking bus tickets in the US)

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 9:33 pm

Shanti418 wrote:Well, now that my "Weird Internet Site" thread has gone from "I love/hate dogs" to "I love/hate cats," at least my Pebbles and Eric can get into the action.

Well, now my rant about horses are crap has turned into a "pictures of pets" topic, Snaily can get in on the action:

Autobloke · Post by **Autobloke** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 9:36 pm

YAY!

Post by **spiderfrommars** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 9:53 am

Autobloke wrote:the other is a rescue cat that had its head kicked in by a previous owner and has a wonky face now.

I've got 2 cats, McCartney and Harrison (or Macca and Harry). Lennon got deaded last year.

They're good company when the missus isn't around. Before I met her I had no time for pets at all.

Still not into dogs though. They seem more of a handful and a bit more smelly.

I'd post pics if I knew where to host stuff for free.

TransFans.co.uk

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