Y'know what, I think I need a little bit of advice...

[saysadie]

Y'know how every once in awhile, someone's got a bit of a problem and they post about it here?

I've got similar. It's in regards to my education, mostly... I'm pretty unsure about it... well, I wrote about it here a few hours ago...

http://shrikebite.blogspot.com/2005/04/ ... -mood.html

I've been talking it over with a few people and they've been really pretty helpful but I'd like as much input as I can possibly get, pretty much.

Long and short of it is that when it comes to higher education, I just can't seem to get past certain hurdles. The biggest being my own fear of falling on my ass. I've gone twice, failed twice [not literally-the first time, I could have gone back but no one told me... and I probably wouldn't have anyway even if I had known and the second time I got okay marks but I hated every ******* minute of it and left on my own] and yet I'm going for it again. "Higher education" I mean, not neccesarily the same things I've gone for before.

I'm getting my HS marks up this fall so that I can apply to go into whatever I want to go into, even.

I'm fairly sure this makes me either incredibly stubborn or a complete masochist, but I don't particularily care. I think we've all got some insecurities when it comes to certain things... some days I think that this life wouldn't be so bad, y'know. I've got people I know, people to hang out with [a couple of them I'd even call 'friends'], I've got a job that's hard or oh-so-argh-inspiring sometimes... but it's active, it can be just as fun as it is anything else and it pays well enough for me to live if I learn how to control my spending.

But then there's the other side of things, there's always another side to things, it seems... these things I could be doing, the things I've wanted to do... and I just don't know. I don't even know if school will help me get there, really.

it's a *shrugs* moment.

[Kaylee]

Well it sounds to me like you need to ask yourself some very basic questions. A good technique I heard on Richard and Judy (amazingly enough) was to think to yourself-

"Alright, what is my ideal day?"

Be truthful with yourself, and think of the best possible day you could have.

Then think about how to make that a reality.

What I consider to be one of the biggest jokes about mankind is that we convince ourselves there are all sorts of things we can and cannot do. I can't do this, I can do that. I'm awful at that. I'm useless at this. and so on.

In Buddhism we ask, what is this I whom we constantly rattle on about, who is so important and has all these needs?

Is I my body, or my mind? Well if its my body, then there must be hundreds and hundreds of I's because my body is constantly changing, every 7 years in fact it is completely renewed.

If it's my mind, then there would have to be a seperate I for every state of mind I have. My mind is also constantly changing.

So where is this fixed, unchanging I? It can't be in the combination, as the wisdom goes-

"If we have some cows, and no sheep, putting all the cows together into a herd won't create a sheep."

So in fact I is a construct of the mind, it's an illusion. There is no fixed you with a set number of abilities/disabilities. If you put your mind to it, you can change this I into anything you want.

So just decide what you want, what you need to do to get there, and then go do it ^_^ The world's yours for the taking!

NB deciding what you actually want can sometimes be quite hard, as we often don't admit to ourselves even who we really are, so deciding on what we want can be impossible!!

[Hound]

I find the Budhism stuff fascinating Karl.

Do you know where I can read up some more? I'm not particularly interested in religion, but I like the philosphoy behind Budhism

[Kaylee]

Buddhism is a philosophy ^_^ No Gods (in the religious sense), no heaven, no afterlife, no magic or even luck (although if you achieve enlightenment and realise the true nature of life it is meant to grant incredible powers).

Try www.jampel.org , thats the centre I go to in Canterbury ^_^ Not that I'm a very good Buddhist

[Eline]

Hmmmm... that's quite a decision.

A degree is always nice of course, but only if you think you'll need it. If you can get a nice job without a degree, then why not.

One of my best friends had a similar situation. I met her at university, where she dropped out after a few years, mainly because of insecurities which were preventing her from finishing courses and were making her depressive.

She got a fulltime job, but came back to university after a year or so. That lasted maybe a month, then she dropped out again. And back to the job.

Now she has started again, on a different university, in a very different course/degree (more social than hardcore beta-science). She did her first year cum laude, so she proved to herself that she can do it. But it still takes quite some effort, to overcome insecurities which take up so much energy. I hope she will get her bachelor and maybe even her masters degree.

So... what I mean to say that it is hard to go back, but doable. If you know what you want. And that is not an easy part.

Goodluck!

[Nebbie]

I was in a similar boat last year. This is my third attempt at college. The first time I half flunked/half quit cause I changed my mind about what I wanted to do with my life. Same thing happened the second time. Now I'm fairly certain I have my mind made up.

I do have one piece of advice though: Be 100% completely and totally sure what you're going to school for. That's what I had to do, or else I never would have went back. And be sure you're willing to do whatever it takes to get your degree. I have to maintain high grades to be able to get into the medical college I want to go to. I've been in school almost a year this time, and I have at least 5 more years ahead of me, even if I do switch back to full time (which I'm considering doing).

The point is, college is a lot of work if it's going to be worth it. You have to decide if you're ready to do the work it's going to require. But if you ever need help with anything, we'll be here for ya! Even if it's not understanding your chemistry homework.

[sprunkner]

I started out just taking fun classes at a community college and then felt out what I would major in. They were like, thirty bucks a credit.

[Denyer]

I'm getting my HS marks up this fall so that I can apply to go into whatever I want to go into, even.

Seems a good approach. It gives options. It doesn't over-commit you in an immediate sense. Might help you identify areas you have strongest interest in following through, also.

So where is this fixed, unchanging I?

Isn't it easier to skip to "nothing is static" rather than attempt to draw a line between mind and body?

[Kaylee]

[Nebbie]

I started out just taking fun classes at a community college and then felt out what I would major in. They were like, thirty bucks a credit.

The community college I go to is $130 a credit!!

But yeah, that makes sense too. Some people just take general classes that you're gonna need no matter what you wind up majoring in, like math or English, then make up their minds.

[Guest]

The best time to do anything is when the time is right. And from my own experience, the right time is not when you're asking yourself "Is this the right time to do suchandsuch?" but when you no longer need to ask yourself the question, because you already know the answer.

This could be all balls, btw, but it's how it seems to work out for me. Opportunities present themselves, and if they're the ones I want to take, I take them, rather than trying to force opportunities to arise.

Forcing things is where it's all gone wrong in the past for me. Following the 'grand design' of School immediately followed by College immediately followed by University, for example, didn't work at all. Neither did jumping back to earlier points in the 'design' and continuing from there. I had to go away from it completely and let everything fall into place naturally.

[Redstreak]

Well, it's better to try and fail than to not try, that's my thought. Take a couple classes, see if it fits for you. See if you wanna see them through; basically there's no law that you have to commit, it's not for everyone, and if you want to pull out, if you do it early enough most institutions will give you all your money back, at least that was the case for where I went...I'd check with the place you're looking at attending. If it's accurate, then there's no harm in trying, right?

Not to sound like a kissass or anything, but you're certainly smart enough in my mind to be able to do higher education with little issue.

[sprunkner]

That was probably the best explanation of Buddhism I've ever seen.

[Metal Vendetta]

Well I went through the whole higher education, I finished it and got my degree and...well, I can't say I've used it once in the six years since. For me university was far more of a learning curve socially rather than academically - I made friends there that I'll keep forever, and it gave me a lot of confidence to get out there and try things. My politics degree was never more than a distraction after the first year.

Having said that I would give my current lifestyle up in a second to study biology and zoology. I wish I'd known how fascinating it was 9 years ago.

[Best First]

whats stopping you?

[Metal Vendetta]

The only thing that's stopping me is financial considerations right now. The studying part I'm doing already - I've probably read more books on this subject in the past year than I did on politics to get my degree...