You f***in' knows it!

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:32 am

So there I was last night, Corn Exchange in Cambridge, all chavved up with mah hoodie, goatie and gold chain, looking like I'd been turfed out of Blazin' Squad for being far too pretty.

We hear that the "7:30 start time" actually translates as "main act come on at quarter to ten."

Beer.

We're told that there are two people supporting. I pick up on the word "people" instead of "acts." We decide it's probably a magician and a ventriloquist. Or a mime.

Because who the hell would lower themselves to support the lot we've gone to see, right?

We missed the first support. Arrived in time to see the second... I think it was a support act, anyway. There's a strong chance it was just a couple of chavs (seemingly irony-free) who realised there was an empty stage and some microphones.

More alcohol!

Then. It happened.

Goldie
Lookin'
Chain

Absolutely ******' hilarious. Absolutely ******' quality.

Altogether, now!

J-Lo is s*** to me
P.Diddy is s*** to me
Ja Rule is s*** to me
F*** you, Alisha Keys

Safe as [composite word including 'f*ck']

Predabot · Post by **Predabot** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:35 am

This must be a british thing...

And since when did you catch Snarl-syndrome Brendy?

Metal Vendetta · Post by **Metal Vendetta** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:36 am

Your mother's got a penis

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 9:40 am

That's right, you knowz what I'm sayin'
Your mother's offered me the goods, I'm not payin'

saysadie · Post by **saysadie** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 6:47 pm

Chavved out eh? Ha ha ha!

Sounds like it was absolutely hilarious.

Nosecone · Post by **Nosecone** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:03 pm

I've seen GLC live twice and they are ****** brilliant - you knows it

Guns don't kill people...

Señior's Covenant · Post by **Señior's Covenant** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:08 pm

Metal Vendetta wrote:Your mother's got a penis

Is that what his daddy brushes his teeth with?

I definitely don't get something here.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:22 pm

Half-man
Half-machine

Brendocon · Post by **Brendocon** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:31 pm

Señior's Covenant wrote:I definitely don't get something here.

http://www.youknowsit.co.uk

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/music/sites/ ... okinchain/

Self Suicide (which they didn't play

)
(I'm gonna lie on my back and you put your fingers down my mouth right, no, no do it right, like aaugh uuuugh! I'm gonna do a Jimi Hendrix! ..eeuuughh....i'm gonna be sick in my sleep, euuugh...aaauugh ugh!)

I tries to do it proper but kept comin' up a cropper
I needs some hype I think I'll ram-raid Happy Shopper
Haven't got a car so I use a space hopper
Bouncing to the window, cut my head, show stopper
I want a hundred fans, 200 teeny boppers
I want police protection from 87 coppers
I wanna go gold even better platinum
If you wanna be a star you gotta kill yourself, man
It's the truth step back, take a look around
Elvis is dead for being fat - 500 pound
Kurt Cobain's rich as f***, he's buried in the ground
Jimi Hendrix and his amp still ain't makin' no sound
Michael Hutchence, he's one of 'em too
Made a hundred million quid dying wanking on the loo
S U I C I D E
It might be messy but it's money for free

Suicide is painless or so it has been said
I couldn't kill myself, but I'd be better off dead
So I took a deep breath, put a gun against my head
Pulled the trigger, click, should've been eating lead
But I wasn't, I was naked in John Frost Square
Mothers with pushchairs stopped and stared
For this situation I was quite unprepared
Tried suicide to be famous but nobody cared

Committing suicide to enhance my career
It worked for Biggie and Tupac Shakir
Jesus was nailed up to some wood
2000 years later and book sales are still good
I heard in a song suicide is painless
And it's 80% sure to make you famous
Wanking with a bag on yer head, tied to a door
That bloke from INXS, he knew the score

S U I C I D E
It might be messy but it's money for free
S U I C I D E
It might be messy but it's money for free

I gotta kill myself, I gotta do's it quick
John Entwistle style, he was snorting arsenic
I keep taking all this coke to make me die
Doin' more drugs than they make in f***in' ICI
It's the best way to go, don't think me dull
i'm not gonna fall off the roof like the flid Rod Hull
We want people to sing all our songs
And the nuns at Saint Joseph's rappin' along, smokin' bongs
We wanna be remembered when we're six feet under
For hip-hoppin' not robbin's, f***in' beatings or plunder
At the moment I'm not dead like David Kampasey
Double platinum means you gotta be pushin' up daisies
Dad's Army's all dead, every last one
But the c*nts are still going on BBC1
Yeah, that's right, I smoke draw, I'm from Wales
Suicide's a good idea to improve vinyl sales

It's useless, it's crap, I'll never be in The Sun
How can I be a pop star when I can't buy a gun?
Jimmy Morrison overdosed in the bath
I know, I'll hang myself with my scarf
Tied to the stairs, dangling by my neck
The cord length I forgot to check
Stuck there for a week, unable to shriek
The landlord found me and he called me a freak
He cut me down and started to laugh
'If you're dead next week, gimme your autograph'
You know I thanked him, returned to my room
The new plan is to go out with a boom
To the station, with a petrol can
Five pound please, I say to the man
All set up and ready to burn
The wheel on my lighter just won't turn

Suicide is a suicyclebbbl
Suicide is a suicyclebbbl
Suicide is a suicyclebbbl
I'm gonna be famous after I've died

(Proven fact, man, if you're dead you sell more. That drummer from Def Leppard, his arm has made 30 times more than he has
You know our Elvis? Well, he's dead famous now and he's dead and he's fa.. he's more famous now like he's dead like you know, that's what it's all about like
It's f***in' simple economics
They reckon Bob Marley's dead but he's not, man, coz he was on the TV last night, man, just don't lie to me, man
I thought I was havin' a go at an overdose, but I I I don't think you can overdose on Beecham's Flu Plus
I think one of the blokes off of Dad's Army is still alive, I think he's bumming Martin in Eastenders, innit?
I'll get the ropes, and we'll tie them to the walls, and we all jump off at the same time and break our necks and we'll make at least 13 quid and you knows we'll be famous like f***in' Ghandi or, or like the bloke off that sex film we seen)