Who would make you laugh more...

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Who's untimely fall down a well would make you laugh more?

Paul McCartney. A rare example of the spitting image puppet being an improvement on the person.
7
54%
Phil Collins. Self-satisfied, smug git.
3
23%
Sting. Utter, utter, utter f****** w*****.
3
23%
 
Total votes: 13

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Who would make you laugh more...

Post by Kaylee » Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:44 pm

...If you saw them fall down a well?

Has to be Sting for me. The deciding factor was his appearance on the classical brit awards wearing a native african cloak and playing a lute. muppet.

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Post by Brendocon » Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:24 pm

Sting.

Every time I think of Phil Collins, I think of American Psycho. This makes me smile.

McCartney, prat or not, has The Beatles and Wings in his past.

Sting has nothing to redeem him. I hated The Police. I hated his solo stuff. So yeah, him.
Grrr. Argh.

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Post by Guest » Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:04 pm

Macca.

The other two would probably pull some fancy move to avoid landing on their faces.

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Post by Shanti418 » Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:59 am

Sting.

Phil Collins I would feel sorry for, because he already LOOKS like he's been hit in the face with the ground from 20 feet up.
Another related joke is that Phil should also be in the "Spitting Image Puppet Is An Improvement" catagory.

McCartney just deserves to go in a well. That's not funny, that's justice.
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Post by Kaylee » Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:57 am

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I miss Spitting Image :(

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Post by Cathy_Quinn » Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:07 pm

Hehe did anyone see any of those "Star Stories" (I think that's what they were called?) that took the mick of people like Take That and Tom Cruise (who might have made an appropriate addition to the candidates on this poll?)

But yeah. Sting all the way.
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Post by Metal Vendetta » Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:29 pm

Spitting Image is so sorely missed it's not funny.

Coincidentally, the Police are playing a big arena gig in Buenos Aires this weekend, which is a massive bonus because all the ****s will be there, instead of out in the nightclubs, which is where I intend to be :) Viz did a great Sting strip recently where he flies around Britain in his private jet to lecture people on the importance of recycling their glass bottles to save the environment.

Collins - well, apart from Another Day In Paradise and his lamentable film career, I don't really have anything against him. It's not like he's regularly in the news pontificating about stuff...in fact I can't remember him doing much recently at all, so hopefully he's taken the hint and faded gracefully into obscurity.

Essentially, I really want to see McCartney fall down a well because, let's face it, apart from a few memorable pop tunes early on in his career, everything else he's done has been ****, and he comes across as the most self-satisfied smug **** I could ever imagine.

No, wait, I have a better idea.

Bono. Can we kill him instead?
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Post by Cathy_Quinn » Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:32 pm

Now you're talking. Mr "I need my hat flown out to me so I can perform." Nark ;)
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Post by angloconvoy » Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:29 pm

The problem right there though, is that it doesn't make for interesting conversation as its a simple fact that Bono is number two (shamelessly stealing from south park there).

Edit: Oh and if you need proof you should vote vote macca, go see if you can track down some info on his work as an artist. The ****** actually got gallery showings.

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Post by Metal Vendetta » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:01 pm

Ever heard the song Hallelujah?

If you can, listen to the original Leonard Cohen version. It's pretty damn fine.

You've almost certainly heard the ubiquitous Jeff Buckley version. It recently got voted the best song of all time by Q magazine.

If you must, listen to Rufus Wainwright's version which is essentially a carbon copy of Jeff Buckley's version, and I think it's on the Shrek 2 soundtrack.*

Now track down Bono's version. It's so bad that when I listened to it I thought: "You know, if the world ended tomorrow, that would be an improvement on the current state of affairs." He not only murdered it, he violated the corpse and kept bits of it in his fridge to snack on at his leisure. He's managed take possibly the best song ever written and destroy it beyond all recognition. And I bet he was smiling that creepy paedophile smile of his when he did it. Bono sucks beyond anyone who has ever sucked before...I'd rather hang out with Hitler than Bono. I bet Hitler could at least carry a tune.

*he performed it at Glastonbury this year with his sister...it was shambolic and he couldn't remember the words. It was abysmal and how he gets paid to be an entertainer is beyond me. Still, even that was a million times better than listening to Bono.
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Post by Brendocon » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:07 pm

I like U2 (well, their music), but Bono's a ****.

I was listening to Radio 2 earlier in the week. May have been last week. And Ken Bruce's Popmaster quiz was on. One of the questions was "here's a duet - one of the performers is Frank Sinatra, name the other."

You can see where I'm going with this already, can't you? It was I've Got You Under My Skin. More precisely the version that smug **** Bono recorded with Frank after The Legend's death.

Now, somehow I'd managed to avoid hearing this recording beforehand. No idea quite how, tbh. Starts off nice enough... smooth Sinatra vocals... nice instrumentation. But FSM I nearly threw my radio out the ******* window when the Irish one suddenly blundered in, SPEAKING the next lines in a smug husky crap karaoke fashion that jarred painfully with the entire vibe of the rest of the track.

Good grief.

My only consolation was that the (celebrity... I think it may have been Paul Young) contestant thought it was Michael Bublé.
Grrr. Argh.

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Post by Obfleur » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:12 pm

Hahaha! I am loving the Bono hate in this thread.
**** that ****.

Here's the song Brendocon is talking about.

What ******* ****.

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Post by Guest » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:21 pm

Brendocon wrote:I like U2 (well, their music), but Bono's a ****.

I was listening to Radio 2 earlier in the week. May have been last week. And Ken Bruce's Popmaster quiz was on. One of the questions was "here's a duet - one of the performers is Frank Sinatra, name the other."

You can see where I'm going with this already, can't you? It was I've Got You Under My Skin. More precisely the version that smug **** Bono recorded with Frank after The Legend's death.

Now, somehow I'd managed to avoid hearing this recording beforehand. No idea quite how, tbh. Starts off nice enough... smooth Sinatra vocals... nice instrumentation. But FSM I nearly threw my radio out the ******* window when the Irish one suddenly blundered in, SPEAKING the next lines in a smug husky crap karaoke fashion that jarred painfully with the entire vibe of the rest of the track.


Didn't Robbie Williams do something similar when he did that album covering Sinatra's work, about a decade or so ago?

Not the same song. Didn't even know that one was a duet. :(

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Post by Metal Vendetta » Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:40 pm

Obfleur wrote:Hahaha! I am loving the Bono hate in this thread.
**** that ****.

Here's the song Brendocon is talking about.

What ******* ****.

OMG, I can tell you've never heard Bono's Hallelujah, because despite pissing all over Sinatra's grave, that song sounds like a choir of angels in comparison. I mean really, I'd rather live the rest of my life with I've Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra and Bono on constant play directly wired into my brain than listen to Bono's Hallelujah just one more time.

For those of a seriously masochistic bent, you can download it here (click on the link that says "grabb.it" under MP3s, allow pop-ups), then afterwards you can curse my name for eternity for ever introducing you to the concept and burn your ears.
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Post by Obfleur » Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:16 pm

Hahaha! This is the worst thing I have ever heard. The douche actually made this and thought "Holy hell, this is great"? ****...

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Post by Metal Vendetta » Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:02 pm

I would have waited a ******* eternity for this!!!!
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Post by Hound » Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:59 pm

Bono is an absolute ******* ****, i was the ******* **** would shut his ******* mouth and **** the **** off.

I have even joined a Facebook group about this!! :x
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Post by Brendocon » Thu Nov 29, 2007 11:29 pm

He's flown in on a private jet and been chauffered to our location... so here he is, wearing a suit that cost double my annual salary, here to guilt-trip me about how I can personally help to end world poverty... it's Bono!

I seriously want to know what the carbon footprint of Live 8 was.

And, to be honest, what Bill Hicks would have made of the ******. :(

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Post by Metal Vendetta » Thu Nov 29, 2007 11:36 pm

Brendocon wrote:And, to be honest, what Bill Hicks would have made of the ******. :(

That's fairly obvious isn't it?

My only gripe with South Park is that they didn't go far enough when they called him the biggest crap in the world ever....
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Post by Dreadwind's Ghost » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:54 am

Brendocon wrote:McCartney, prat or not, has Wings in his past.


See, not only does that qualify him for well-falling, but it also explains his mad missus.
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Post by spiderfrommars » Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:57 am

I'm sticking up for Macca.

Just pretend I wrote a really long post about it.

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Post by Cathy_Quinn » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:31 pm

Wow, that WAS a long post spider...but the last 3 paragraphs appear to just be SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS SCREW FLANDERS typed over and over! ;)
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Post by Impactor returns 2.0 » Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:54 pm

Damm, Maddox is good...
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Post by sprunkner » Fri Nov 30, 2007 2:20 pm

Wow, this version of Hallelujah is... beyond words.

On the subject of Rufus, I've never understood his urge to do covers. I like his own stuff ( http://youtube.com/watch?v=i6N0sNMKFO4 ), but his versions of this song and of "Across the Universe" always seem to bring out the bad things about his singing style.

And on another subject... I'm not much of an Elvis Costello fan, either, but Fiona Apple was born to sing this song:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EiOmhOumh-w
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Post by angloconvoy » Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:58 pm

Obfleur wrote:Hahaha! I am loving the Bono hate in this thread.
**** that ****.

Here's the song Brendocon is talking about.

What ******* ****.


I couldn't make it to the end of that. **** me but he loves himself. He's not even in time. ******* ****. It actually honestly made me a bit queasy. And though I remember hearing it in the past, I'm not sure I can handle his version of hallelujah.

Incidentally, he's a ****. And maddox and south park, and viz are all right about him.

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Post by Metal Vendetta » Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:34 pm

angloconvoy wrote:I couldn't make it to the end of that. **** me but he loves himself. He's not even in time. ******* ****. It actually honestly made me a bit queasy. And though I remember hearing it in the past, I'm not sure I can handle his version of hallelujah.

You're a wise, wise man. As I said to sprunk this morning, it's like a masochist thing. I'm all "It can't be that bad, surely...I'll just listen to it again to make sure..." and then I'm depressed for the rest of the day.
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Post by sprunkner » Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:12 am

I have now shown it to most of the people in my graduate English program, along with a copy of Lost Girls someone lent me. I think I have a reputation.
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